Some C.S. Lewis, a lot of Buffy and Faith
Got this through melymbrosia's lj: a great discussion about C.S. Lewis' use of religious allegory in the Narnia novels, here. Since I didn't read the Narnia novels as a child but as an adult, at a time where of course I saw the allegory, the question of perceiving it as a betrayal, or not, didn't pose itself, so I don't feel in a position to argue about it. I wonder, though, whether future generations will see Philipp Pullman's use of religous allegory as a betrayal? Of course Pullman's beliefs are the opposite of Lewis', but an agenda is an agenda, and to me it would smack of hypocrisy to basically say "allegory in children's novels is fine as long as I agree with the author's belief system".)
Mind you, between Susan's fate and That Hideous Strength, the entire novel, I have my own set of Lewis disagreements, but then when I read The Arabian Nights where the happy ending is Sheherazade convincing the sultan that really, this serial killing of women because his first wife cheated on him ought to stop, then living with this Arab Bluebeard in wedded bliss, I'm not exactly sharing all the values of the unknown author(s), either. Incidentally, today's New York Times has an (admiring) article on C.S. Lewis here, which among other things points out that:
Nevertheless, Lewis acknowledged that religion easily becomes a device to exploit others (...). The pretense of piety, he said, has left a record of violence that should shame every honest believer. "Of all bad men, religious bad men are the worst," he wrote in "Reflections on the Psalms."
No matter how you stand on Lewis' use of religious allegory in the Narnia novels, that's one sentiment we can probably all share.
On a completely different issue, I found myself pondering Buffy and Faith, and the difference I see between canon and fanon.
It was and is, to me, a fascinating relationship. But every now and then I come across a remark on a message board or in someone's livejournal, or a story, which makes me wonder whether we watched the same episodes. Reminds me oddly of fanon about Blake and Avon, for some reason (and makes me wonder whether the Faith and Buffy canon begins and ends with Sanctuary). Here's a list of the fanon perceptions which I disagree with most:
1) Buffy never gave Faith a chance and by withholding her friendship drove Faith into the Mayor's arms.
Buffy starts out uneasy, territorial and not so secretly envious about Faith's apparent freedom and easiness with everyone in Faith, Hope and Tricks, true. But the relationship doesn't end there - not even within the episode itself. One of the ironies of this episode is that Faith's attitude is revealed as very much bravado, masking her fear and desperation. While the other Scoobies take Faith's carefree wild girl act for the genuine article, Buffy does realise this, and the episode ends with the two of them starting to bond. That doesn't mean they immediately become best buds, or that Buffy ever stops feeling competitive. Nor does Faith, for that matter, and no wonder - they're both alphas. In subsequent episodes, we see the two of them fighting together, training together, and going out together. You can read this with slashy subtext as a courting dance, or you can read it as a growing friendship, but there is still no proof of Buffy rejecting Faith's company or behaving stand-offish.
The first disruption comes when in Revelations, Faith, manipulated by Gwendolyn Post and armed with the basic information that Angel, last seen trying to end the world, is back, tries to stake him, leading to a fight between the two Slayers. Now the episode was undoubtedly very important to Faith's descend, but imo mostly because of Gwen Post, supposedly her new Watcher, using her and mocking her as an idiot. After seeing the close relationship between Buffy and Giles, Faith would have been inhuman not to want something like this for herself, especially since she lost her previous Watcher in a brutal way. To be dissapointed like this had to be traumatic. (BTW, Giles' utter disinterest in Faith beyond her slaying abilities is why I personally blame him more then Wesley for what was about to happen - he had months to establish a relationship with her, and never did.) But again, I don't see how Buffy, who ends the episode trying to talk to Faith about what happened, is being distant, calleous or stand-offish here. Yes, in Amends it's Joyce who gets the idea of inviting Faith for Christmas, but Buffy when Faith correctly guesses this clearly feels guilty for not thinking of it herself. Consequently, in The Wish, it's Buffy who tells Xander and Willow that all of them should spend more time with Faith who has started to take off by herself (something also mentioned in Helpless). Then we arrive at the crucial Bad Girls and Consequences, but that's another point. To sum up: Buffy in their early relationship did not reject or exclude Faith.
2) After Faith accidentally killed Allen Finch, Buffy immediately condemmed her and made no attempt to help her, thus driving her in the arms of the Mayor.
This would be my major "which episodes were you watching?" gripe. Because in the Bad Girls and Consequences I own and have rewatched countless times, I saw Buffy reaching out to Faith again and again, trying to talk with her about what happened and getting, forgive the bad pun, rebuffed. I also saw Faith trying to frame Buffy for Finch's death with Giles. And I saw Buffy, after this and after Faith had almost killed Xander, still determined that Faith should not be handed over the the Council and that they should all continue trying to help her. It's Willow, not Buffy, who asks "Why?" and from this point onwards thinks Faith should be locked up, full stop. Not so coincidentally, in Doppelgangerland, an episode which confronts Willow with the darkness within in an entertaining but in retrospect ominous way, it's again Willow who calls Faith a psycho and Buffy who points out that "it could have been me". (Which Willow denies. If there is a character thinking in black-and-white terms here, it's Willow, not Buffy.) Buffy takes the "Faith needs help" position as late as This Year's Girl. In the conversation immediately after the Scoobies learn Faith has awakened from her coma, we get the following statements: Xander thinks she ought to be in prison (and honestly, who can blame Xander at this point), Willow thinks prison is too good for Faith, Giles suggests handing Faith over to the Initiative, an organization he distrusts and protected a vampire, Spike, from only one episode earlier. Buffy is the only one not only worried about but for Faith, proposing that maybe Faith doesn't even remember, or does remember and is out there alone and sorry, and in any event should be helped, not put in prison. Conclusion: to say that Buffy turns her back on Faith immediately after the death of Finch and never tried to help her is a gross distortion of canon.
3) What did Faith do that was so wrong anyway?
Or, the Faith-the-Misunderstood argument. Forget about Buffy, you're selling Faith short if you follow this road. Faith's storyline was very powerful precisely because she did go into that dark night, and not gently at all. Finch's death was an accident, but it's significant that Faith reacts as she did to the death of her first Watcher, with panic and denial. Arguably Buffy was in a similar position when she thought she killed Ted in Ted, before learning he was a robot, but did not go the denial road. (The even stronger parallel is with Katrina in season 6, of course.) Denial with Faith leads to first trying to blame Buffy for what happened, then to attempting to rape and kill Xander, then to going to the Mayor. Even if you put this all on the aftershock of Finch's death, it's still a pattern damaging to both Faith and the people around her, a pattern she doesn't break until much later: the complete inability to accept responsibility, the "might was well go the whole road" bravado, and the venting of unwelcome emotions on those weaker than her. Faith's next step is when the Mayor arranges for Willow to be killed; it takes her aback for a moment, but she doesn't do anything against it. Not that Faith has any particular reason to like Willow, but that's not the issue; she's present when the murder of another human being is arranged, and doesn't do anything about it. Then we get to Enemies, with Faith willing to unleash an incredibly dangerous psychopath and mass murder, Angelus, on the world just to get back at Buffy. Not to mention being willing to torture Buffy who up to this point hasn't done anything to her except a) being the older Slayer who apparently has everything, and b) trying to help Faith. (If you take the subtext reading, of course, then Faith is also going for violence between them as a replacement for unavailable sex, but that still doesn't make Faith less responsible.) A few casually killed couriers and assorted demons later, we get to the season 3 finale. At which point Faith kills human beings when the Mayor tells her to without even wondering why (the Vulcan, err, Vulcanologist in the teaser of Graduation Day) and has no problems writing off the entire population of Sunnydale High as food for the Mayor after his transformation. Compare this to Faith's dream in This Year's Girl, with her and the Mayor having a lovely harmless father and daughter picknick interrupted by stone faced killer Buffy who pursues her without any provocation or relenting, and you get how deeply Faith was in denial, and how far a way she had to go.
The body switch in season 4 becomes Faith's great turning point, the first time she does not run or deny at a crucial point - when she returns to the church to help the people inside instead of getting away at the airport. It's a major, major step, but it comes after what it is yet another act in the earlier mentioned pattern. Faith taking over Buffy's body, consigning Buffy to prison or whatever the Watchers have in mind, casually skewering Tara verbally on the way just because she can, fits with the running away and venting on those weaker. The confrontation with Buffy-in-Faith becomes at once the greatest possible projection and the start of a breakdown of the pattern because when Faith-in-Buffy beats up her own body in an outpouring of self-loathing, it's clear whom she means when she says "you ruined everything". At the end, she does run away again, and it's good storytelling for her to do so, because Faith can't come back from what happened, what she did, within a single episode. Her final breakdown in Five by Five comes after torturing Wesley. Again, you understand Faith's emotional motivation for this; she wants to drive Angel into killing her (which would be the final escape), and she does blame Wesley for failing her in Consequences. Understanding Faith, however, doesn't have to mean excusing her. Torture is torture. And I loved the scenes with Faith and Wesley in season 4 of AtS precisely because of this backstory, which to simplify into "Wesley had it coming because he wanted to hand Faith over to the Council in Consequences is… just as wrong as saying "Faith never had done anything wrong and it's all Buffy's fault". To sum up Faith's crimes: Murder, attempted murder, attempted rape, attempted torture, torture, and attempted mass murder. Yes, there was something to make up for.
4) Buffy is a hypocrite, unable to admit her similarities with Faith
Buffy can go into denial in a big way herself, but when it comes to her relationship with Faith, this isn't a label which really fits. I already mentioned her "it could have been me" statement to Willow in Doppelgangerland; her arguments with Faith in Bad Girls and Consequences also can't be simplified this way. Acknowledging that slaying gives her a rush, which Faith tries to get her to do, is one thing, and I think Buffy saw and feared that part in herself which is also capable of venting frustration through violence in Faith as early as the scene in Faith, Hope and Trick when Faith beat up the vampire long after defeating it. These are two truths that Buffy has to learn to deal with via Faith as her shadow self in season 3. But Faith's suggestion that Buffy secretly enjoyed getting presented with Angel-as-a-psychopath during the Angelus months couldn't be further of the mark. Fandom might have found Mr. Leather Pants sexy and thrilling, but there is not a single scene in season 2 to suggest Buffy did. And Faith's crucial argument in these episodes, that being the Slayer justifies some killings along the line because of the greater number of lives they save, gets rejected by Buffy in even in her own period of greatest darkness, in season 6.
Then there is the willingness to kill a human being. I don't think Buffy kids herself about her ability to do this in Graduation Day when she decides to go after Faith. Talking to Xander about Willow in Villains, she says that killing a human changes everything - "believe me, I know". I don't think she's referring to the Knights of Byzantium here. However, the knife she stuck into Faith doesn't lead Buffy to conclude that from this point onwards, she is licensed to kill humans left and right, now that she's done it once already. Which is another difference between the two of them.
Both Buffy and Faith draw a part of their shaky self-esteem from being the Slayer, albeit in slightly different ways. (Being a Slayer means something quite different to Faith in season 7 than it did in season 3, and the same is true of Buffy.) Which in turns feeds in both their rivalry and their understanding of each other. Sometimes, you see yourself in another person and it becomes unbearable; sometimes, it can be a lifeline. I absolutely loved the scenes between Buffy and Faith in season 7, because due to both of them having gone through their respective journeys since they last met, they can at last come to terms with each other. No, not via an immediate hug and not without some emotional and literal bruises at first. But they can see each other without projecting, and there is an understanding which to me surpassed anything since their shared dream in Graduation Day and Buffy kissing Faith on the head in silence afterwards. I defy anyone to watch the very last exchange between them in Empty Places, or their conversation in End of Days, and still come with the above named charge of Buffy being unable to see their common ground.
5) Faith deals so much better with being the Slayer, so Buffy should just step aside already
Faith is an excellent Slayer, able to fight alone and to take charge of a group, combining instinct and planning. In season 4 of AtS and season 7 of BtVS. Not before. In her first year as a Slayer, she went to pieces. Now whether this also would have happened if Faith had been the one and only Slayer instead of "the other one", i.e. if there had been no constant comparison with Buffy, is arguable. Based on Faith as we see her in her first episode, i.e. before Buffy could be an issue in her development, I'd say it probably would have happened regardless, but am ready to concede that if Faith had gotten someone like Giles as her only Watcher back then, it might not have. Ironically, Faith and Wesley made a great Slayer-and-Watcher team… after they both had been to hell and back. I'd say Faith's development as a Slayer starts with her decision to go the church in Who Are You, goes along with her road to redemption as she turned herself in to the police in Sanctuary, thus breaking (as it turns out, forever) with her pattern of running away, and passes a trial by fire in her three season 4 of AtS episodes. The Faith who returns to Sunnydale isn't just an adult woman but a mature Slayer, with the last test being her ability to work with Buffy in a team. (Just it's crucial for Buffy as a person and a Slayer to be able to work with Faith.) But just where in canon we see that Faith is "better" at being the/a Slayer, especially before this last year, is beyond me.
6) Buffy is a complete bitch for not forgiving Faith
Back to my maltreated equine: no matter the issues between them, Buffy was all for helping Faith…until the body switch. (Yes, I'm aware she was willing to kill Faith in between, but that wasn't about forgiving or not forgiving Faith and would not have happened in any other circumstances than the poisoning Angel/blood of a Slayer ones. At this point, Buffy's feelings for Faith are still hopelessly muddled but generally pro-Faith, and the kiss on the head after trying to kill her is emblematic for this.) That - taking her body away - was the one thing too many. Now it's regrettable that Buffy reached her limit with Faith just when Faith was starting to turn around. But while Buffy in Sanctuary is arguably Buffy at her worst, I still understood why she acted the way she did. Being forced out of your own body can, among other things, be interpreted as mental rape. Moreover, all Buffy knew when she arrived in Los Angeles was that Faith had tried to kill Angel again, and then she stumbled upon what must have looked like a direct replay of Enemies, only this time for real. Lastly, it usually gets overlooked that even at this point, when she wants to see Faith in prison, Buffy is willing to risk her life to protect Faith, something that Angel, for one, does not trust her to do. Yes, Buffy angrily says "if you apologize to me, I'll beat you to death" to Faith in the basement. But on the roof, when the Council's hit squad starts shooting, Buffy's instinctive reaction is to cover Faith with her body and then try and fight the attackers off.
When they meet again in season 7, forgiveness or the lack thereof isn't any longer an issue between them. In between, Faith has proven that she did change, and Buffy has gone through her own night of the soul. I don't think either party expects or even wants an apology. Actually, what imo both of them find most difficult is forgiving themselves… and this, too, they come to terms with.
Mind you, between Susan's fate and That Hideous Strength, the entire novel, I have my own set of Lewis disagreements, but then when I read The Arabian Nights where the happy ending is Sheherazade convincing the sultan that really, this serial killing of women because his first wife cheated on him ought to stop, then living with this Arab Bluebeard in wedded bliss, I'm not exactly sharing all the values of the unknown author(s), either. Incidentally, today's New York Times has an (admiring) article on C.S. Lewis here, which among other things points out that:
Nevertheless, Lewis acknowledged that religion easily becomes a device to exploit others (...). The pretense of piety, he said, has left a record of violence that should shame every honest believer. "Of all bad men, religious bad men are the worst," he wrote in "Reflections on the Psalms."
No matter how you stand on Lewis' use of religious allegory in the Narnia novels, that's one sentiment we can probably all share.
On a completely different issue, I found myself pondering Buffy and Faith, and the difference I see between canon and fanon.
It was and is, to me, a fascinating relationship. But every now and then I come across a remark on a message board or in someone's livejournal, or a story, which makes me wonder whether we watched the same episodes. Reminds me oddly of fanon about Blake and Avon, for some reason (and makes me wonder whether the Faith and Buffy canon begins and ends with Sanctuary). Here's a list of the fanon perceptions which I disagree with most:
1) Buffy never gave Faith a chance and by withholding her friendship drove Faith into the Mayor's arms.
Buffy starts out uneasy, territorial and not so secretly envious about Faith's apparent freedom and easiness with everyone in Faith, Hope and Tricks, true. But the relationship doesn't end there - not even within the episode itself. One of the ironies of this episode is that Faith's attitude is revealed as very much bravado, masking her fear and desperation. While the other Scoobies take Faith's carefree wild girl act for the genuine article, Buffy does realise this, and the episode ends with the two of them starting to bond. That doesn't mean they immediately become best buds, or that Buffy ever stops feeling competitive. Nor does Faith, for that matter, and no wonder - they're both alphas. In subsequent episodes, we see the two of them fighting together, training together, and going out together. You can read this with slashy subtext as a courting dance, or you can read it as a growing friendship, but there is still no proof of Buffy rejecting Faith's company or behaving stand-offish.
The first disruption comes when in Revelations, Faith, manipulated by Gwendolyn Post and armed with the basic information that Angel, last seen trying to end the world, is back, tries to stake him, leading to a fight between the two Slayers. Now the episode was undoubtedly very important to Faith's descend, but imo mostly because of Gwen Post, supposedly her new Watcher, using her and mocking her as an idiot. After seeing the close relationship between Buffy and Giles, Faith would have been inhuman not to want something like this for herself, especially since she lost her previous Watcher in a brutal way. To be dissapointed like this had to be traumatic. (BTW, Giles' utter disinterest in Faith beyond her slaying abilities is why I personally blame him more then Wesley for what was about to happen - he had months to establish a relationship with her, and never did.) But again, I don't see how Buffy, who ends the episode trying to talk to Faith about what happened, is being distant, calleous or stand-offish here. Yes, in Amends it's Joyce who gets the idea of inviting Faith for Christmas, but Buffy when Faith correctly guesses this clearly feels guilty for not thinking of it herself. Consequently, in The Wish, it's Buffy who tells Xander and Willow that all of them should spend more time with Faith who has started to take off by herself (something also mentioned in Helpless). Then we arrive at the crucial Bad Girls and Consequences, but that's another point. To sum up: Buffy in their early relationship did not reject or exclude Faith.
2) After Faith accidentally killed Allen Finch, Buffy immediately condemmed her and made no attempt to help her, thus driving her in the arms of the Mayor.
This would be my major "which episodes were you watching?" gripe. Because in the Bad Girls and Consequences I own and have rewatched countless times, I saw Buffy reaching out to Faith again and again, trying to talk with her about what happened and getting, forgive the bad pun, rebuffed. I also saw Faith trying to frame Buffy for Finch's death with Giles. And I saw Buffy, after this and after Faith had almost killed Xander, still determined that Faith should not be handed over the the Council and that they should all continue trying to help her. It's Willow, not Buffy, who asks "Why?" and from this point onwards thinks Faith should be locked up, full stop. Not so coincidentally, in Doppelgangerland, an episode which confronts Willow with the darkness within in an entertaining but in retrospect ominous way, it's again Willow who calls Faith a psycho and Buffy who points out that "it could have been me". (Which Willow denies. If there is a character thinking in black-and-white terms here, it's Willow, not Buffy.) Buffy takes the "Faith needs help" position as late as This Year's Girl. In the conversation immediately after the Scoobies learn Faith has awakened from her coma, we get the following statements: Xander thinks she ought to be in prison (and honestly, who can blame Xander at this point), Willow thinks prison is too good for Faith, Giles suggests handing Faith over to the Initiative, an organization he distrusts and protected a vampire, Spike, from only one episode earlier. Buffy is the only one not only worried about but for Faith, proposing that maybe Faith doesn't even remember, or does remember and is out there alone and sorry, and in any event should be helped, not put in prison. Conclusion: to say that Buffy turns her back on Faith immediately after the death of Finch and never tried to help her is a gross distortion of canon.
3) What did Faith do that was so wrong anyway?
Or, the Faith-the-Misunderstood argument. Forget about Buffy, you're selling Faith short if you follow this road. Faith's storyline was very powerful precisely because she did go into that dark night, and not gently at all. Finch's death was an accident, but it's significant that Faith reacts as she did to the death of her first Watcher, with panic and denial. Arguably Buffy was in a similar position when she thought she killed Ted in Ted, before learning he was a robot, but did not go the denial road. (The even stronger parallel is with Katrina in season 6, of course.) Denial with Faith leads to first trying to blame Buffy for what happened, then to attempting to rape and kill Xander, then to going to the Mayor. Even if you put this all on the aftershock of Finch's death, it's still a pattern damaging to both Faith and the people around her, a pattern she doesn't break until much later: the complete inability to accept responsibility, the "might was well go the whole road" bravado, and the venting of unwelcome emotions on those weaker than her. Faith's next step is when the Mayor arranges for Willow to be killed; it takes her aback for a moment, but she doesn't do anything against it. Not that Faith has any particular reason to like Willow, but that's not the issue; she's present when the murder of another human being is arranged, and doesn't do anything about it. Then we get to Enemies, with Faith willing to unleash an incredibly dangerous psychopath and mass murder, Angelus, on the world just to get back at Buffy. Not to mention being willing to torture Buffy who up to this point hasn't done anything to her except a) being the older Slayer who apparently has everything, and b) trying to help Faith. (If you take the subtext reading, of course, then Faith is also going for violence between them as a replacement for unavailable sex, but that still doesn't make Faith less responsible.) A few casually killed couriers and assorted demons later, we get to the season 3 finale. At which point Faith kills human beings when the Mayor tells her to without even wondering why (the Vulcan, err, Vulcanologist in the teaser of Graduation Day) and has no problems writing off the entire population of Sunnydale High as food for the Mayor after his transformation. Compare this to Faith's dream in This Year's Girl, with her and the Mayor having a lovely harmless father and daughter picknick interrupted by stone faced killer Buffy who pursues her without any provocation or relenting, and you get how deeply Faith was in denial, and how far a way she had to go.
The body switch in season 4 becomes Faith's great turning point, the first time she does not run or deny at a crucial point - when she returns to the church to help the people inside instead of getting away at the airport. It's a major, major step, but it comes after what it is yet another act in the earlier mentioned pattern. Faith taking over Buffy's body, consigning Buffy to prison or whatever the Watchers have in mind, casually skewering Tara verbally on the way just because she can, fits with the running away and venting on those weaker. The confrontation with Buffy-in-Faith becomes at once the greatest possible projection and the start of a breakdown of the pattern because when Faith-in-Buffy beats up her own body in an outpouring of self-loathing, it's clear whom she means when she says "you ruined everything". At the end, she does run away again, and it's good storytelling for her to do so, because Faith can't come back from what happened, what she did, within a single episode. Her final breakdown in Five by Five comes after torturing Wesley. Again, you understand Faith's emotional motivation for this; she wants to drive Angel into killing her (which would be the final escape), and she does blame Wesley for failing her in Consequences. Understanding Faith, however, doesn't have to mean excusing her. Torture is torture. And I loved the scenes with Faith and Wesley in season 4 of AtS precisely because of this backstory, which to simplify into "Wesley had it coming because he wanted to hand Faith over to the Council in Consequences is… just as wrong as saying "Faith never had done anything wrong and it's all Buffy's fault". To sum up Faith's crimes: Murder, attempted murder, attempted rape, attempted torture, torture, and attempted mass murder. Yes, there was something to make up for.
4) Buffy is a hypocrite, unable to admit her similarities with Faith
Buffy can go into denial in a big way herself, but when it comes to her relationship with Faith, this isn't a label which really fits. I already mentioned her "it could have been me" statement to Willow in Doppelgangerland; her arguments with Faith in Bad Girls and Consequences also can't be simplified this way. Acknowledging that slaying gives her a rush, which Faith tries to get her to do, is one thing, and I think Buffy saw and feared that part in herself which is also capable of venting frustration through violence in Faith as early as the scene in Faith, Hope and Trick when Faith beat up the vampire long after defeating it. These are two truths that Buffy has to learn to deal with via Faith as her shadow self in season 3. But Faith's suggestion that Buffy secretly enjoyed getting presented with Angel-as-a-psychopath during the Angelus months couldn't be further of the mark. Fandom might have found Mr. Leather Pants sexy and thrilling, but there is not a single scene in season 2 to suggest Buffy did. And Faith's crucial argument in these episodes, that being the Slayer justifies some killings along the line because of the greater number of lives they save, gets rejected by Buffy in even in her own period of greatest darkness, in season 6.
Then there is the willingness to kill a human being. I don't think Buffy kids herself about her ability to do this in Graduation Day when she decides to go after Faith. Talking to Xander about Willow in Villains, she says that killing a human changes everything - "believe me, I know". I don't think she's referring to the Knights of Byzantium here. However, the knife she stuck into Faith doesn't lead Buffy to conclude that from this point onwards, she is licensed to kill humans left and right, now that she's done it once already. Which is another difference between the two of them.
Both Buffy and Faith draw a part of their shaky self-esteem from being the Slayer, albeit in slightly different ways. (Being a Slayer means something quite different to Faith in season 7 than it did in season 3, and the same is true of Buffy.) Which in turns feeds in both their rivalry and their understanding of each other. Sometimes, you see yourself in another person and it becomes unbearable; sometimes, it can be a lifeline. I absolutely loved the scenes between Buffy and Faith in season 7, because due to both of them having gone through their respective journeys since they last met, they can at last come to terms with each other. No, not via an immediate hug and not without some emotional and literal bruises at first. But they can see each other without projecting, and there is an understanding which to me surpassed anything since their shared dream in Graduation Day and Buffy kissing Faith on the head in silence afterwards. I defy anyone to watch the very last exchange between them in Empty Places, or their conversation in End of Days, and still come with the above named charge of Buffy being unable to see their common ground.
5) Faith deals so much better with being the Slayer, so Buffy should just step aside already
Faith is an excellent Slayer, able to fight alone and to take charge of a group, combining instinct and planning. In season 4 of AtS and season 7 of BtVS. Not before. In her first year as a Slayer, she went to pieces. Now whether this also would have happened if Faith had been the one and only Slayer instead of "the other one", i.e. if there had been no constant comparison with Buffy, is arguable. Based on Faith as we see her in her first episode, i.e. before Buffy could be an issue in her development, I'd say it probably would have happened regardless, but am ready to concede that if Faith had gotten someone like Giles as her only Watcher back then, it might not have. Ironically, Faith and Wesley made a great Slayer-and-Watcher team… after they both had been to hell and back. I'd say Faith's development as a Slayer starts with her decision to go the church in Who Are You, goes along with her road to redemption as she turned herself in to the police in Sanctuary, thus breaking (as it turns out, forever) with her pattern of running away, and passes a trial by fire in her three season 4 of AtS episodes. The Faith who returns to Sunnydale isn't just an adult woman but a mature Slayer, with the last test being her ability to work with Buffy in a team. (Just it's crucial for Buffy as a person and a Slayer to be able to work with Faith.) But just where in canon we see that Faith is "better" at being the/a Slayer, especially before this last year, is beyond me.
6) Buffy is a complete bitch for not forgiving Faith
Back to my maltreated equine: no matter the issues between them, Buffy was all for helping Faith…until the body switch. (Yes, I'm aware she was willing to kill Faith in between, but that wasn't about forgiving or not forgiving Faith and would not have happened in any other circumstances than the poisoning Angel/blood of a Slayer ones. At this point, Buffy's feelings for Faith are still hopelessly muddled but generally pro-Faith, and the kiss on the head after trying to kill her is emblematic for this.) That - taking her body away - was the one thing too many. Now it's regrettable that Buffy reached her limit with Faith just when Faith was starting to turn around. But while Buffy in Sanctuary is arguably Buffy at her worst, I still understood why she acted the way she did. Being forced out of your own body can, among other things, be interpreted as mental rape. Moreover, all Buffy knew when she arrived in Los Angeles was that Faith had tried to kill Angel again, and then she stumbled upon what must have looked like a direct replay of Enemies, only this time for real. Lastly, it usually gets overlooked that even at this point, when she wants to see Faith in prison, Buffy is willing to risk her life to protect Faith, something that Angel, for one, does not trust her to do. Yes, Buffy angrily says "if you apologize to me, I'll beat you to death" to Faith in the basement. But on the roof, when the Council's hit squad starts shooting, Buffy's instinctive reaction is to cover Faith with her body and then try and fight the attackers off.
When they meet again in season 7, forgiveness or the lack thereof isn't any longer an issue between them. In between, Faith has proven that she did change, and Buffy has gone through her own night of the soul. I don't think either party expects or even wants an apology. Actually, what imo both of them find most difficult is forgiving themselves… and this, too, they come to terms with.