Doctor backstory: TRUE FACTS!
Because honorh encourages me with these kind of things. She was wondering what would happen if it turned out Lucy Saxon was pregnant and had a baby which for some reason or the other (other being other than that she's a a tad mentally unstable) she was unable to care for. Obviously, the Doctor wouldn't give the timetot to the Dursleys, quoth she. Whereupon I suggested the following conversation plus revelations about ye olde Gallifrey days would take place:
Donna: Not sure whether I'd entrust a baby to our Martian Boy here.
Doctor: Hey! I'll have you know I was a dad once. And a granddad.
Donna: Yeah, but did you raise the kid? Or kids?
Doctor: Err... not so much. My wife divorced me shortly after our daughter was born.
Martha: Really? Why?
Doctor: Um. BecausewehadgottenmarrieddirectlyafterIbrokeupwiththeMasterandshesaidshehadenoughofbeingmyrebound.
Martha and Donna: *look at each other, then at the Doctor, both with arms crossed*
Doctor: It was a long time ago! Anyway, as a grandfather I was full time committed! I was there all the time! Or rather, Susan was! I took her everywhere! I kidnapped her teachers so she wouldn't have to go without school lessons while we were travelling! She was with me until... anyway.
Martha: Oh, do elaborate.
Donna: What she said. Until WHAT?
Doctor: UntilIdroppedheronpostapocalypticearthsoshecouldfindtrueloveandlockedheroutoftheTardis.
Honorh wanted more details about that break-up/rebound business, and I provided:
Not that the Doctor was conscious of his motivations of the time, but the mental throught process went something like "I'm so over him, I'll show him! Oh, this girl is pretty! And nice! I really like her! You know what, I'll propose! At once! What do you mean, overreaction and Master? Who? I'm so over him!" And you know, the Master was just as mature about the whole thing. After their break-up, he sulked and interferred nastily in a planet's development or two, and when no one showed up, he ever so casually wrote to another old academy mate from Gallifrey:
Rani -
so, my dear, you started a career in crime as well. Congratulations! That's what anyone does WHO IS NOT A SANCTIMONIOUS TWAT. Speaking of, any news from home? Not that I care. I just want to know whether they're all being the same gits, or whether they'll send anyone after me.
- The Master
Master -
you two are such idiots, and I am not passing notes between you anymore. I gave that up when we were ten! The only reason why I'm telling you he just got married is that I need someone to distract people from my brilliant experiment with the embryos of Rygel IX, and your inevitable temper tantrum should do nicely.
- The Rani
To this, the Master reacted with a suitably impressive and dastardly scheme. The Doctor couldn't understand why people at home refused to see he was the only one capable of foiling it and said something about him being too young and immature. So he just HAD to steal a TARDIS. It was for the greater good, honest!
And he went, and he foiled the dastardly scheme, but when he returned home, his wife had had it and divorced him, saying one baby at a time was enough and that she had it with being the rebound. And that is the true story neither Time Lord will ever admit to these days!
Donna: Not sure whether I'd entrust a baby to our Martian Boy here.
Doctor: Hey! I'll have you know I was a dad once. And a granddad.
Donna: Yeah, but did you raise the kid? Or kids?
Doctor: Err... not so much. My wife divorced me shortly after our daughter was born.
Martha: Really? Why?
Doctor: Um. BecausewehadgottenmarrieddirectlyafterIbrokeupwiththeMasterandshesaidshehadenoughofbeingmyrebound.
Martha and Donna: *look at each other, then at the Doctor, both with arms crossed*
Doctor: It was a long time ago! Anyway, as a grandfather I was full time committed! I was there all the time! Or rather, Susan was! I took her everywhere! I kidnapped her teachers so she wouldn't have to go without school lessons while we were travelling! She was with me until... anyway.
Martha: Oh, do elaborate.
Donna: What she said. Until WHAT?
Doctor: UntilIdroppedheronpostapocalypticearthsoshecouldfindtrueloveandlockedheroutoftheTardis.
Honorh wanted more details about that break-up/rebound business, and I provided:
Not that the Doctor was conscious of his motivations of the time, but the mental throught process went something like "I'm so over him, I'll show him! Oh, this girl is pretty! And nice! I really like her! You know what, I'll propose! At once! What do you mean, overreaction and Master? Who? I'm so over him!" And you know, the Master was just as mature about the whole thing. After their break-up, he sulked and interferred nastily in a planet's development or two, and when no one showed up, he ever so casually wrote to another old academy mate from Gallifrey:
Rani -
so, my dear, you started a career in crime as well. Congratulations! That's what anyone does WHO IS NOT A SANCTIMONIOUS TWAT. Speaking of, any news from home? Not that I care. I just want to know whether they're all being the same gits, or whether they'll send anyone after me.
- The Master
Master -
you two are such idiots, and I am not passing notes between you anymore. I gave that up when we were ten! The only reason why I'm telling you he just got married is that I need someone to distract people from my brilliant experiment with the embryos of Rygel IX, and your inevitable temper tantrum should do nicely.
- The Rani
To this, the Master reacted with a suitably impressive and dastardly scheme. The Doctor couldn't understand why people at home refused to see he was the only one capable of foiling it and said something about him being too young and immature. So he just HAD to steal a TARDIS. It was for the greater good, honest!
And he went, and he foiled the dastardly scheme, but when he returned home, his wife had had it and divorced him, saying one baby at a time was enough and that she had it with being the rebound. And that is the true story neither Time Lord will ever admit to these days!