December Talking Meme: Buffy and Dawn
Disclaimer: I don’t read the comics. The only BTVS canon for me is the tv canon. So whatever issues you may have with the comics aren’t relevant to how I see the characters; pray bring them up elsewhere.
Dawn was controversial from the get go - both as a character and as a concept - , and from what I hear she still gets complained about in some fannish quarters. Now it’s been a while since my last BTVS rewatch, but I still remember Dawn fondly, and a big reason for this is that the Buffy and Dawn relationship spoke to me from the get go.
To wit, Real Me, her introduction episode. The sibling relationship between her and Buffy was instantly recognizable to me, who’d been a big sister. Now, obviously Dawn’s existence - a sister where there had been none - was a retcon, but I had confidence enough to wait for the explanation, which, when it came, made in-universe sense. Mind you, one objection raised back then is one I can understand: that Dawn’s existence and how she came to be meant from s5 onwards the characters of the show were not remembering their past the way the audience did, because their memories had been altered (and would never be altered back for the remaining show, which btw is an interesting difference to what happens over at AtS with Connor). I get how this is disturbing. And yet, in the case of Dawn and Buffy, I find myself not minding. Perhaps because Buffy finds out about it, finds out about the reason, and then decides Dawn is her sister now. (Ditto Joyce, for what time she had left, re: Dawn being her daughter.)
With the death of Joyce, of course, the sibling relationship between Buffy and Dawn irrevocably gets intermingled with a parent/child relationship. And that makes it additionally complicated and messy, because Buffy, barely out of being an adolescent herself, isn’t ready to be anyone’s mother, and doesn’t really get time to mourn hers. (Which to me is the point of the brief appearance of the vampire in the morgue at the end of The Body. Buffy simply doesn’t get time off, even at such a time like this.) In season 5, Dawn’s entire existence depends on her in yet another way, because Glory is after the Key. Of these three responsibilities - big sister, mother, life protector - Buffy can handle the last one - it’s what she does, and she does it well, even when up against a goddess -, but all three at the same time? I’m not sure I’d say Buffy is suicidal at the end of s5, but she’s certainly reached her limit, and the absolute focus on Dawn, on saving Dawn she has achieved by the end of s5 would have been impossible to maintain even she hadn’t gone through the horror of death and resurrection next with the result of a season long struggle against depression.
As Dawn’s sister, Buffy could resent her and complain about her without this meaning she’s failing Dawn; it’s what siblings do, and didn’t change the fact she’d have defended her with her life even then. But once she’s Dawn’s sole caretaker, such a type of venting is out. Granted, the other Scoobies care for Dawn as well, and Tara to some degree becomes Dawn’s new mother figure in season 6, but Tara has the luxury of leaving (and should have it!). Buffy doesn’t. So once the immediate threat to Dawn’s life is removed, and the focus that came with it, I wouldn’t be surprised if Buffy’s non-communications with Dawn through much of s6 weren’t solely due to her general depression struggle but also in a way due to the impossibility of consciously ever resenting Dawn’s existence again. And the constant awareness that Dawn, while innocent of bringing her back from the dead, is one key, forgive the pun, reason why actively seeking death again is out.
Meanwhile, Dawn while loving the other Scoobies (especially Tara and Xander) doesn’t have the out of a parent figure to rely on, either, once Joyce is dead. (Especially since Giles doesn’t really offer himself.) It’s Buffy or no one. And there’s the guilt of knowing Buffy died in her place. Her attention-seeking stealing in s6 is among other things an attempt to reclaim the intense attention she had from Buffy in later s5, but I think it’s also an attempt to provoke Buffy into having it out with her.
They start s7 in a better place because an open conversation has finally happened , Buffy wants to live in the world again, and teaching Dawn allows for a way to make Dawn a part of her life (and acknowledging Dawn’s growing up) that’s more reminiscent of a big sister than a mother role. They’re more at ease with each other than they’ve been since Joyce died. (The closeness of later s5 was intense, but not “at ease with each other”.) Then, with the latest dawning apocalypse and the arrival of the potentials to claim Buffy’s attention, there isn’t a repeat of the s6 estrangement - not least because Dawn isn’t as needy anymore, and actually deals with the potentials pretty well, while figuring out a role for herself that’s not being a Slayer like Buffy, or Buffy’s raison d’etre - but the big turnaround moment in late s7, when Dawn sides with the potentials and the Scoobies against Buffy, doesn’t come out of nowhere, either. Actually I think it comes of having learned Buffy’s lessons, and everyone else’s lessons. Because it’s just about the only thing that could have broken up the stalemate of the big argument that wasn’t going anywhere, gutted everyone emotionally and was consequently endangering anyone. If Dawn hadn’t said “you need to leave”, it would not have ended, because Buffy wouldn’t have accepted it from anyone else.
Which is why Buffy doesn’t hold it against Dawn post facto, imo. Mind you, her way of evacuating Dawn (or attempting to) from Sunnydale is drastic, but it’s what she’d have done back in early s5 before finding out about the whole key business in a similar situation. However, back then Dawn wouldn’t have come back and made Buffy accept this, accept her as a fellow fighter against the apocalypse. There’s been a lot of debate about Buffy’s s5 finale declaration that she wouldn’t sacrifice Dawn to save the world (the way she did Angel in s2), and about her later s7 remark to Giles that she would do it now, if it was Dawn versus the world again. (Complete with debate whether her last scene with Dawn in the episode in question is Buffy having changed her mind on this one again due to what happens re: Giles and Spike and Robin Wood in that episode.) In the end, we never find out whether or not Buffy would as of late s7 sacrifice Dawn to save the world. But what we do find out is that she has come to accept it’s Dawn’s decision whether or not Dawn herself wants to risk her life saving the world as well. Because Dawn has been growing up, and is no longer the child in need of someone to protect her at all costs. In the end, they’ve become siblings again, sisters in arms, even, and that’s how we leave them.
December Talking Meme: The Other Days
This entry was originally posted at http://selenak.dreamwidth.org/1040338.html. Comment there or here, as you wish.
Dawn was controversial from the get go - both as a character and as a concept - , and from what I hear she still gets complained about in some fannish quarters. Now it’s been a while since my last BTVS rewatch, but I still remember Dawn fondly, and a big reason for this is that the Buffy and Dawn relationship spoke to me from the get go.
To wit, Real Me, her introduction episode. The sibling relationship between her and Buffy was instantly recognizable to me, who’d been a big sister. Now, obviously Dawn’s existence - a sister where there had been none - was a retcon, but I had confidence enough to wait for the explanation, which, when it came, made in-universe sense. Mind you, one objection raised back then is one I can understand: that Dawn’s existence and how she came to be meant from s5 onwards the characters of the show were not remembering their past the way the audience did, because their memories had been altered (and would never be altered back for the remaining show, which btw is an interesting difference to what happens over at AtS with Connor). I get how this is disturbing. And yet, in the case of Dawn and Buffy, I find myself not minding. Perhaps because Buffy finds out about it, finds out about the reason, and then decides Dawn is her sister now. (Ditto Joyce, for what time she had left, re: Dawn being her daughter.)
With the death of Joyce, of course, the sibling relationship between Buffy and Dawn irrevocably gets intermingled with a parent/child relationship. And that makes it additionally complicated and messy, because Buffy, barely out of being an adolescent herself, isn’t ready to be anyone’s mother, and doesn’t really get time to mourn hers. (Which to me is the point of the brief appearance of the vampire in the morgue at the end of The Body. Buffy simply doesn’t get time off, even at such a time like this.) In season 5, Dawn’s entire existence depends on her in yet another way, because Glory is after the Key. Of these three responsibilities - big sister, mother, life protector - Buffy can handle the last one - it’s what she does, and she does it well, even when up against a goddess -, but all three at the same time? I’m not sure I’d say Buffy is suicidal at the end of s5, but she’s certainly reached her limit, and the absolute focus on Dawn, on saving Dawn she has achieved by the end of s5 would have been impossible to maintain even she hadn’t gone through the horror of death and resurrection next with the result of a season long struggle against depression.
As Dawn’s sister, Buffy could resent her and complain about her without this meaning she’s failing Dawn; it’s what siblings do, and didn’t change the fact she’d have defended her with her life even then. But once she’s Dawn’s sole caretaker, such a type of venting is out. Granted, the other Scoobies care for Dawn as well, and Tara to some degree becomes Dawn’s new mother figure in season 6, but Tara has the luxury of leaving (and should have it!). Buffy doesn’t. So once the immediate threat to Dawn’s life is removed, and the focus that came with it, I wouldn’t be surprised if Buffy’s non-communications with Dawn through much of s6 weren’t solely due to her general depression struggle but also in a way due to the impossibility of consciously ever resenting Dawn’s existence again. And the constant awareness that Dawn, while innocent of bringing her back from the dead, is one key, forgive the pun, reason why actively seeking death again is out.
Meanwhile, Dawn while loving the other Scoobies (especially Tara and Xander) doesn’t have the out of a parent figure to rely on, either, once Joyce is dead. (Especially since Giles doesn’t really offer himself.) It’s Buffy or no one. And there’s the guilt of knowing Buffy died in her place. Her attention-seeking stealing in s6 is among other things an attempt to reclaim the intense attention she had from Buffy in later s5, but I think it’s also an attempt to provoke Buffy into having it out with her.
They start s7 in a better place because an open conversation has finally happened , Buffy wants to live in the world again, and teaching Dawn allows for a way to make Dawn a part of her life (and acknowledging Dawn’s growing up) that’s more reminiscent of a big sister than a mother role. They’re more at ease with each other than they’ve been since Joyce died. (The closeness of later s5 was intense, but not “at ease with each other”.) Then, with the latest dawning apocalypse and the arrival of the potentials to claim Buffy’s attention, there isn’t a repeat of the s6 estrangement - not least because Dawn isn’t as needy anymore, and actually deals with the potentials pretty well, while figuring out a role for herself that’s not being a Slayer like Buffy, or Buffy’s raison d’etre - but the big turnaround moment in late s7, when Dawn sides with the potentials and the Scoobies against Buffy, doesn’t come out of nowhere, either. Actually I think it comes of having learned Buffy’s lessons, and everyone else’s lessons. Because it’s just about the only thing that could have broken up the stalemate of the big argument that wasn’t going anywhere, gutted everyone emotionally and was consequently endangering anyone. If Dawn hadn’t said “you need to leave”, it would not have ended, because Buffy wouldn’t have accepted it from anyone else.
Which is why Buffy doesn’t hold it against Dawn post facto, imo. Mind you, her way of evacuating Dawn (or attempting to) from Sunnydale is drastic, but it’s what she’d have done back in early s5 before finding out about the whole key business in a similar situation. However, back then Dawn wouldn’t have come back and made Buffy accept this, accept her as a fellow fighter against the apocalypse. There’s been a lot of debate about Buffy’s s5 finale declaration that she wouldn’t sacrifice Dawn to save the world (the way she did Angel in s2), and about her later s7 remark to Giles that she would do it now, if it was Dawn versus the world again. (Complete with debate whether her last scene with Dawn in the episode in question is Buffy having changed her mind on this one again due to what happens re: Giles and Spike and Robin Wood in that episode.) In the end, we never find out whether or not Buffy would as of late s7 sacrifice Dawn to save the world. But what we do find out is that she has come to accept it’s Dawn’s decision whether or not Dawn herself wants to risk her life saving the world as well. Because Dawn has been growing up, and is no longer the child in need of someone to protect her at all costs. In the end, they’ve become siblings again, sisters in arms, even, and that’s how we leave them.
December Talking Meme: The Other Days
This entry was originally posted at http://selenak.dreamwidth.org/1040338.html. Comment there or here, as you wish.