A letter to my 99 year old self.
Dear Ne,
How are you? It's exactly 11:39 the clock says. And an Utada Hikaru track is playing, if it is any indication the track title is "Time will tell" well I do hope you still remeber it. Anyway, I wrote in the hopes that you may enlighten me. After all you have been through this. probably a couple of times over. Goodness Chen, I do need some answers. I am not even really sure why I go through all this or why I bring this upon myself. Please.
I am standing again at that crossroad, I have been to way too many ones in this life so far. I wonder how many more will there be. Yes, that again. I have been stressing over this work again. Been mighty stubborn. I am not sure but everyone is simply telling me to stay and slug it out but for some reason i don't really believe that they understand what i am going through. Even I don't. maybe this is just one of those times in this life that I feel so alone again. That I don't know what to do with myself pero definitely I wouldn't want lfe to just simply pass me by. Sabi nila the most common regret ng tao is that they have not risks that much. they have played safe. I know I have pero I have risked a lot and quite a few times as well. But they say that one of the biggest regret of people is that they did not love. Well I do, I love and I love a lot not in the manner that you would expect pero...I love and I let everyone know. I will not survive an environnment where people doesn't care. This is me. And changing that vital component would compromise me. and eventually lose myself again. I have searched high and low looking for myself only to sell out. No I don't think i am willing to take it. That is one risk I am not willing to take.