"MAD MEN": Fandom Dislike of Betty Draper
Below is a slight variation of the article I had written, following my first viewing of the "MAD MEN" Season Three episode, (3.04) "The Arrangement":
"MAD MEN": FANDOM DISLIKE OF BETTY DRAPER
After a recent viewing of the "MAD MEN" Season Three episode, (3.04) "The Arrangement", I read several articles about from critics and fans. After reading numerous comments on the article, I found myself becoming angry over the critics and fans' reaction to the character of Betty Draper. Ironically, I feel no anger toward Matt Weiner. Instead, I felt anger at these fans' continuing misreading of Betty Draper's character. After reading two or three articles about "The Arrangement", I just read this article on the recent episode and now find myself wondering if many of the show's fans had ever understood the character. Frankly, I doubt it very much. Much of the fans’ vitriol toward Betty seemed to stem from her "treatment" of her two children, Sally and Bobby.
Ever since the airing of the Season Two episode, (2.02) "Flight 1" in 2008, "MAD MEN" fans had been accusing Betty Draper, the first wife of series' protagonist, Don Draper, of being a poor mother. In response to Flight 1, these fans had nitpicked over her complaint about her son Bobby's lies about a drawing he had submitted in school. It turned out, Bobby had traced the drawing from another illustration and declared it as his own original work. Matters became worse in (2.04) "Three Sundays" when Betty had demanded that Don punish Bobby for a series of infractions. After this episode had aired, many fans accused her of being a cold and abusive parent, especially since she had expressed anger at Don for refusing to discipline his son. To this day, I am shocked, not by Betty's insistence upon disciplining her son, but by the fans' reactions. Surely they realized that the episode was set in 1962? Before this decade and in the following two, parents had disciplined their children in various ways, including with spankings. Yet, fans had reacted as if this was something rare and accused Betty of being an abusive mother.
In a later Season Two episode, (2.12) "The Mountain King", Betty had caught her daughter Sally smoking. She punished the girl by locking her in a closet for a few hours. Again, fans accused Betty of being abusive. They had completely ignored the fact that Sally, a young girl around eight years old, was smoking. Instead, they focused only on Betty's punishment. I found myself wondering how my parents would have reacted if they had caught me smoking. I suspect that they would have shown less restraint than Betty. Hell, I suspect that if I had been that parent, I would have also shown less restraint. Betty eventually let Sally out of the closet and explained - somewhat - the situation between Don and herself (they were separated at the time). But the damage had been done. Betty was now a bad mother.
Following the premiere of Season Three, the fandom's reaction to Betty had ascended to vitriolic heights. Following the season premiere, (3.01) "Out of Town", fans had complained about Betty's curt dismissal of Bobby, as she and Don were prepared to discipline Sally for breaking into her father's suitcase. They complained of the pregnant Betty's desire to give birth to a second daughter, citing this as an example of her immaturity. And in (3.02) "Love Among the Ruins", these fans had Betty of being immature when she insisted that her ailing father, Gene Hofstadt, remain with the Drapers after his live-in girlfriend abandoned him. They had accepted William's argument that Betty wanted to prevent her brother William from selling their father's home and profiting from it. Without any real evidence. And . . . they complained about Betty being curt to Sally, when she ordered the young girl to zip up the dress she wore at Roger Sterling's garden party in (3.03) "My Old Kentucky Home". But the fans’ hostility toward Betty hit an all time high in "The Arrangement". According to many hostile fans, Betty was guilty of the following in this episode:
*Her refusal to discuss with Gene his plans to distribute his late wife’s furs to herself and her sister-in-law, which many saw as a sign of her immaturity.
*A few fans had accused her of closing the door on Sally, after the police officer had arrived with news of Gene’s death.
*Her dismissal of Sally from the kitchen, after the latter ranted at the adult Drapers and Betty’s brother William, over their "failure" to grieve over Gene’s death.
*Her failure to comfort Sally over Gene’s death.
Betty's refusal to discuss Gene’s plans regarding the distribution of his late wife's furs after his death had drawn a great deal of critical fire. Personally, I do not understand why. Her refusal to discuss such matters seemed reasonable to me. Why would any grown child want to talk with a parent over his or her impending death, as if discussing a business transaction? Such a discussion still strikes me as too morbid and emotional for anyone to bear. Especially if that particular person was in the last trimester of her pregnancy. In one of his more lucid moments, Gene could have written down his wishes regarding inheritance and other arrangements in a signed letter . . . some time ago. He could have left instructions about his wife's furs right after her death. Instead, he had decided to openly discuss the matter with Betty, who obviously found the subject disturbing. And I have a question. Why on earth did he wait so long to distribute his late wife’s furs? She had been dead for over three years.
Many fans had pointed out that Gene’s disappointment in Betty as a clear indication of her shallow and immature nature. His main complaints seemed to center around her failure to become a professional, like her mother. Ruth Hofstadt had been an engineer back in the 1920s. Gene's other complaint had centered around her marriage to Don. Now, this man knew what kind of parent his wife used to be. There was never been any previous hint in past episodes that Gene and Ruth Hofstadt had encouraged Betty to acquire a profession. When she became a professional model, Mrs. Hofstadt called her a whore. And judging from Gene’s story about his wife’s efforts to reduce Betty’s weight, I suspect that he left his daughter solely in Ruth’s hands. As for Betty’s marriage to Don, had Gene become aware that his son-in-law had stolen someone else’s identity? Or was he simply disappointed that Betty had married a man from a working-class background, who did not have any family? If Gene had known that Don was a phony, why did he fail to expose the latter to Betty? And if Gene’s problem with Don had more to do with the younger man’s social background, then I can only conclude that he was just as shallow and superficial as his daughter, Don and nearly every other major character in the series. Some fans had accused Betty of shutting the front door in young Sally’s face after learning about Gene’s death. Well, I have an easy response. The cop who had delivered the news about Gene was the one who had closed the door in Sally’s face, preventing her from following him and Betty into the house. And since I do not recall him locking the door, Sally could have easily went ahead and followed them inside.
Finally, I come to the one scene in this episode that had caused a great deal of hostility from the fans - namely Betty’s dismissal of Sally, following the latter’s outbreak over her grandfather’s death. Many fans expressed outrage over Betty’s action, claiming it as another example of her cold attitude toward her children. The interesting thing about their reaction was willingness to only view the scene from Sally's point-of-view. No one had been willing to view it from Betty’s point-of-view, or any of the other adults. Very few seemed unwilling to consider that both Betty and her brother William had been devastated by their father’s death. As far as I know, only one person back in 2009 had managed to comprehend both Betty and Sally’s point-of-views, due to her own personal experiences. William tried to hide his own grief through a mild joke and both Betty and Don had laughed. Sally, who had overheard the joke, had jumped to conclusions that none of them cared about Gene’s death. And because of this belief, she ranted against her parents and uncle. Upset and shaken by her daughter’s outburst, Betty ordered Sally to her room . . . before she broke into tears. And instead of viewing the scene as another example of family conflict during a special occasion - a death in the family, in this case - many viewers saw this as another example of Betty Draper’s despicable nature. I even came across an article that failed to mention Betty’s own grief over her father’s death.
What I still cannot comprehend is why very few viewers had failed to comment on Don's actions. What exactly did he do? He laughed at William’s joke. He looked understandably stunned by Sally’s outburst. He mildly chastised Betty for eating one of the peaches found in Gene’s car . . . and she ignored him. Speaking of the peaches, many fans saw Betty’s consumption of the peach as either a sign of her immaturity . . . or some kind of malice toward Sally. What in the fuck? Talk about being anal. Following William and his wife Judy’s departure, Don comforted a grieving Betty inside their bedroom. And when she finally went to sleep, he peeked in on a slumbering Sally. That was it. He hardly did anything to comfort Sally, aside from checking on her. And yet . . . I have never come across any criticism against him.
I wish I could explain why Betty had received the majority of criticism from the fans. She became the Bobbie Barrett of Season Three - the female everyone loved to hate. Fans never found Season Three's equivalent to Duck Phillips. Not really. Had "MAD MEN" really been that desperate to find a character to vilify every season? To the point they were unwilling to examine the complexities of all characters? Why are they willing to excuse the flaws and mistakes of female characters like Peggy Olson and Joan Holloway Harris and at the same time, dump all of their ire on the likes of Betty Draper? Was it because Peggy had managed to adhere to their ideals of the 1960s and 1970s feminist? Or perhaps they had admired Joan’s sophistication, style and wit? Whatever.
Look . . . I realize that Betty Draper was never perfect. She was not the world’s greatest mother. And at times, she could be rather immature and shallow. But you know what? None of the other characters were perfect. In fact, nearly all of them were very flawed. Don struck me as an even worse parent than Betty or anyone else in that series. He had seemed more obsessed with maintaining appearance and indulging in his desires. He was also a fraud. Despite her ambition and talent, Peggy had struck me as an immature woman who assumed facades and personas with more speed than her mentor. I never could fathom her reaction to that opening sequence from "BYE-BYE BIRDIE", featured in "Love Among the Ruins". But that was due to Matthew Weiner's writing more than anything. Despite the strides he had gained during late Season Two, Account salesman Pete Campbell had yet to overcome his desire for approval . . . and his penchant for behaving like a prat when things do not go his way. Paul Kinsey was another poseur who had been ashamed of his past as a middle-class or working-class Jersey man. He had also been ashamed of the fact he had attended Princeton via a scholarship. And for Joan . . . I really did not know what think of her at that point in the series. Why on earth did an intelligent and experienced woman of the world marry a man who had raped her? Why? I have asked this question on several blogs, message boards and forums. And instead of giving me an answer, fans either made excuses for Joan’s choice or glossed over it by expressing their anticipation over her dumping her husband.
I realize forcing or coercing fans to like Betty Draper would have been the wrong thing to do. But I never could accept or embrace their negative view of her. And I also suspect that fans had sometimes allowed their emotions and prejudices to serve as a barrier to any possibility of a rational discussion on the series and its characters. Considering how the comments regarding Betty’s role in "The Arrangement" had managed to annoy or even anger me, perhaps I had my own biases regarding the character and was never able anymore rational than those fans who disliked her.