Answers to How To Tell If You're An Idiot
Mark Vaughn of Autoweek asked Enthusiasts the following: Are you an idiot? He also helpfully provided a list of questions that would determine the answer. The more "yes's" you got, the more of an idiot you were.
In my case, it's easier to count the questions I didn't answer "yes" to. Puh-thetic.
In fact, there were only two questions that didn't get a "yes" from me. I'll buy you a taco if you guess which these were.
1. You have a car with fog lights.
2. You call them “Driving Lights.”
3. You switch them on.
4. You wear gloves when you drive.
5. You wear driving shoes when you drive.
6. You wear the driving shoes and the gloves to school/work.
7. You drive one or no races in the course of a weekend track event but you stroll around the paddock all three days with your driving suit at half mast, the arms of it tied around your waist “in case someone needs a backup driver.”
8. You know entirely too much about some obscure race car that no one else on the planet knows or cares about.
9. You talk about the car in #8.
10. You send condescending letters to your club newsletter correcting some minutia about the wind wing vent positioning of car #8, usually beginning with the line, “Anyone who knows anything at all about cars knows that the (car #8) blah, blah, blah…”
Okay, let’s score you.
One to three “Yes” answers means you need serious psychological help. Or a girlfriend. I suggest both. Ideally for you, get a girlfriend who also owns car #8.
Four to six “Yes” answers means you should just give up now and please get off the internet for the good of mankind.
More than six “Yes” answers, please, just donate all your internal organs to an internal organ bank then go jump in the nearest compost heap. This will be best for all concerned, mostly the compost heap.
(The original quiz is posted at: http://www.autoweek.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070131/FREE/70129016/1028/FREE)
In my case, it's easier to count the questions I didn't answer "yes" to. Puh-thetic.
In fact, there were only two questions that didn't get a "yes" from me. I'll buy you a taco if you guess which these were.
1. You have a car with fog lights.
2. You call them “Driving Lights.”
3. You switch them on.
4. You wear gloves when you drive.
5. You wear driving shoes when you drive.
6. You wear the driving shoes and the gloves to school/work.
7. You drive one or no races in the course of a weekend track event but you stroll around the paddock all three days with your driving suit at half mast, the arms of it tied around your waist “in case someone needs a backup driver.”
8. You know entirely too much about some obscure race car that no one else on the planet knows or cares about.
9. You talk about the car in #8.
10. You send condescending letters to your club newsletter correcting some minutia about the wind wing vent positioning of car #8, usually beginning with the line, “Anyone who knows anything at all about cars knows that the (car #8) blah, blah, blah…”
Okay, let’s score you.
One to three “Yes” answers means you need serious psychological help. Or a girlfriend. I suggest both. Ideally for you, get a girlfriend who also owns car #8.
Four to six “Yes” answers means you should just give up now and please get off the internet for the good of mankind.
More than six “Yes” answers, please, just donate all your internal organs to an internal organ bank then go jump in the nearest compost heap. This will be best for all concerned, mostly the compost heap.
(The original quiz is posted at: http://www.autoweek.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070131/FREE/70129016/1028/FREE)