thoughts on fortune, wealth, privilege
A friend on DW said that she felt bad about sharing good news; that in her midwestern culture it was considered 'boasting' and that it might be highlighting to others what they don't have.
I don't know what the term for that is, but I do feel it quite a lot. Not as much as she does, perhaps, but enough that I think twice about sharing good news or good things.
In some ways it's particularly difficult because I am EXTREMELY privileged and EXTREMELY fortunate.
My family are good - probably even great. My parents are kind. Nobody in my life is abusive. I'm in a good line of work, I have a roof over my head which we're well on the way to owning, and satisfaction and meaning in life.
The phrase "embarrassment of riches" is something that I've never thought about until recently, particularly watching things in the US and UK go down, and thinking just how insulated my world is. Healthcare. Church community. People who loved me without wanting to dominate/hurt/abuse me. Generous family in love and in attention and in finances. Trust in myself and my opinions.
I was reading 'Rilla of Ingleside' and there's a line in it when Walter (Rilla's brother) is writing to her from the frontlines of WWI and how "there were girls just as pure and innocent as you [who lived in the battlefields of where Walter is writing from], and even you know what happened to them". And it just struck me - as it might have struck Rilla - that because of an accident of birth (in a country untorn by war, daughter of a medical professional) she doesn't face death or abuse, imprisonment or injury.
I have good health. I have good family. I have abundance in my life - I'm not working right now, haven't been working for nearly three months, and while the bank account is slowly slipping, we're still solvent. If something big came up, I'd have to scrape, but we're otherwise still kicking.
I'm a single woman (not a spinster or an old maid), able to earn her own income, nearly owning her own house, with family and friends, respected in my community for my opinions in spite of being neither wife nor mother, valued for more than just what goes into my vagina or what comes out of it. I have rights, I have freedoms, I have privileges.
Even as a woman of Asian ancestry, living in a western culture and society, I'm luckier than so many women of similar ancestry yet born back where our ancestors came from.
It's hard to say this, to rejoice in it, particularly because many of the people I know on LJ/DW aren't in the same position. And, yes, there's an awkwardness in feeling that you're rubbing your happiness in the faces of people who have less, simply because they don't have it and you do. I have no idea how others justify themselves - maybe on the backs of the 'personal responsibility' boogeyman: "I earned this, I worked for this, I deserve this - it's my right!" but without consideration of what that means on the other hand (that other people who don't have this are lazy or undeserving) - then again, that is the current narrative of worth in the west right now. Money, comfort, pleasure, satisfaction in life equals virtue.
If one doesn't believe that, then yes, it makes sharing joy a tricksy thing.
I don't know what the term for that is, but I do feel it quite a lot. Not as much as she does, perhaps, but enough that I think twice about sharing good news or good things.
In some ways it's particularly difficult because I am EXTREMELY privileged and EXTREMELY fortunate.
My family are good - probably even great. My parents are kind. Nobody in my life is abusive. I'm in a good line of work, I have a roof over my head which we're well on the way to owning, and satisfaction and meaning in life.
The phrase "embarrassment of riches" is something that I've never thought about until recently, particularly watching things in the US and UK go down, and thinking just how insulated my world is. Healthcare. Church community. People who loved me without wanting to dominate/hurt/abuse me. Generous family in love and in attention and in finances. Trust in myself and my opinions.
I was reading 'Rilla of Ingleside' and there's a line in it when Walter (Rilla's brother) is writing to her from the frontlines of WWI and how "there were girls just as pure and innocent as you [who lived in the battlefields of where Walter is writing from], and even you know what happened to them". And it just struck me - as it might have struck Rilla - that because of an accident of birth (in a country untorn by war, daughter of a medical professional) she doesn't face death or abuse, imprisonment or injury.
I have good health. I have good family. I have abundance in my life - I'm not working right now, haven't been working for nearly three months, and while the bank account is slowly slipping, we're still solvent. If something big came up, I'd have to scrape, but we're otherwise still kicking.
I'm a single woman (not a spinster or an old maid), able to earn her own income, nearly owning her own house, with family and friends, respected in my community for my opinions in spite of being neither wife nor mother, valued for more than just what goes into my vagina or what comes out of it. I have rights, I have freedoms, I have privileges.
Even as a woman of Asian ancestry, living in a western culture and society, I'm luckier than so many women of similar ancestry yet born back where our ancestors came from.
It's hard to say this, to rejoice in it, particularly because many of the people I know on LJ/DW aren't in the same position. And, yes, there's an awkwardness in feeling that you're rubbing your happiness in the faces of people who have less, simply because they don't have it and you do. I have no idea how others justify themselves - maybe on the backs of the 'personal responsibility' boogeyman: "I earned this, I worked for this, I deserve this - it's my right!" but without consideration of what that means on the other hand (that other people who don't have this are lazy or undeserving) - then again, that is the current narrative of worth in the west right now. Money, comfort, pleasure, satisfaction in life equals virtue.
If one doesn't believe that, then yes, it makes sharing joy a tricksy thing.