(no subject)
i hate being here. Last night was the second time since saturday that me and jeremiah called a "break," saturday we got back together later that night becuase i don't want to be away from him.
it's the same shit over and over again, he doesn't show that he cares, he changes the subject, he lets strange girls leave him messages and leaves them there for me to see and to get mad about. He doesn't make me happy anymore, i don't feel secure, and i don't think he loves me like he used to. i feel so small when i'm with him. i want to be with him so bad but i want to feel loved and happy and thats not working. so when i got home i called him to talk about things and he kept changing the subject like always and thats complete bull shit, so i hung up and cried and cut myself some more. after that was done i gathered all the stuff he's given me so when the time comes officially i can give it to him.
we rushed this whole relationship way too fast, and that ruined everything. and now that things aren't the same i feel like i have to force him to hug me, kiss me and love me and i shouldn't feel like that. i can't go on constantly hurting myself and crying. and i don't know if everything is my fault or if he really doesn't love me anymore.
i hate myself so much, why won't this ever stop, and now i've become completely dependent on him and no one can help me with my feelings.
it's the same shit over and over again, he doesn't show that he cares, he changes the subject, he lets strange girls leave him messages and leaves them there for me to see and to get mad about. He doesn't make me happy anymore, i don't feel secure, and i don't think he loves me like he used to. i feel so small when i'm with him. i want to be with him so bad but i want to feel loved and happy and thats not working. so when i got home i called him to talk about things and he kept changing the subject like always and thats complete bull shit, so i hung up and cried and cut myself some more. after that was done i gathered all the stuff he's given me so when the time comes officially i can give it to him.
we rushed this whole relationship way too fast, and that ruined everything. and now that things aren't the same i feel like i have to force him to hug me, kiss me and love me and i shouldn't feel like that. i can't go on constantly hurting myself and crying. and i don't know if everything is my fault or if he really doesn't love me anymore.
i hate myself so much, why won't this ever stop, and now i've become completely dependent on him and no one can help me with my feelings.