fanfic post
Rooaarr, posting because I wanted to post a little fanfic I wrote somewhere, but Fanfiction.net doesn't allow the appropriate text formatting and Tumblr... well, I don't even know, all I know is that pasting the text in there gave me formatting issues and Tumblr's help page is incredibly useless.
So I'll just post it here and link to it from the Tumblrs.
Maybe I'll post it on DA later, but I wanted to have it somewhere besides the MSPA forums that allowed it to be seen in all its colorful glory.
It's a Homestuck fanfic, by the way. It's for the TrollCops AU. That being said, notes for anyone who reads this who isn't an MSPA fan:
- The text formatting/colors on the dialogue is just one of those things, you know. I felt weird leaving it out, it didn't feel genuine that way...
- Since this is for an AU, it contains no spoilers (beyond the fact that the trolls are there, I guess?) so no worries there I guess.
- Basic rundown of what you need to know for this AU's storyline is, Karkat and his friends are street urchins, John's a windy asshole superhero. Also John == human, Karkat and his friends == trolls.
Bluh bluh I talk too much. On to the fanfic!
While Karkat paid close attention to the people around him at all times, he usually didn’t register faces at all. Nobody was ever a person, really, they were all just potential threats to himself or to his friends.
This face, though. He kept seeing this face.
At first it was purely coincidence. Karkat assumed that the kid’s daily routine probably brought him near Karkat’s hangouts pretty often. But over time, he kept seeing that kid all the time, paying a lot more attention to Karkat than Karkat was paying to him. It made him nervous. What was this kid’s deal? Karkat kept trying to figure out where his allegiances might lie. He looked too derpy to be involved with the Felt or the Midnight Crew, and obviously he wasn’t Dave Strider so he couldn’t be in the Strider Mafia. Maybe he was with the police, trying to collect evidence…
Karkat was sitting in an alley with Nepeta and Gamzee when he next saw the kid. Karkat had his back to the street and didn’t realize the kid was there until he was right behind him-that’s what he got for expecting Gamzee to warn him about anything, he supposed. Karkat jumped to his feet, his hand instinctively gripping his handscythe, as he glared at the kid. Said kid just stood there smiling, holding a pair of plastic bags in his hands.
“THE HELL DO YOU WANT, FUCKASS?”
Karkat’s manner did nothing to quell the kid’s sunny disposition. He just smiled up at Karkat with his stupid buckteeth and said, “hi, i am john! what’s your name?”
“ARE YOU AN IDIOT? NO WAIT, DON’T ANSWER THAT, IT’S OBVIOUS YOU’RE SOME KIND OF MORON ROYALTY.”
Karkat groaned as Gamzee decided to speak. “HeY mOtHeRfUcKeR, tHaT’s My BrOtHeR kArKat.”
Nepeta chimed in too. “:33 < yeah! and that’s gamz33 and i’m nepeta!”
John looked way too pleased. “nice to meet you guys! hehe, i hope i don't come off as creepy or anything--"
“NO, JUST STUPID."
“--but i saw you guys eating food out of the trash yesterday and i thought that must really suck, so i brought you some fresh food to eat!" He held up the two bags in his hands, bearing the logo of the nearest grocery store.
Nepeta's face lit up. “:33 < yaaaay! you're the best!"
She leapt forward to take the offering, but Karkat stopped her. Not releasing John from his death glare, Karkat said to Nepeta, “WAIT JUST A FUCKING SECOND. WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT STRANGERS?
Nepeta whined. “:33 < but he--"
“WE DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL THIS ASSHOLE IS, OR IF JOHN IS EVEN HIS REAL NAME. WHAT IF THAT FOOD'S DRUGGED OR SOMETHING?" He rolled his eyes. “NOT THAT GAMZEE WOULD MIND."
John's smile finally broke, and was replaced by a confused look. “what? why would i do something like that?"
“WHY WOULD YOU HAND OUT FOOD TO RANDOM STRANGERS? SEE, I CAN ASK STUPID QUESTIONS TOO! WHO DO YOU WORK FOR, JOHN HUMAN?"
Gamzee shuffled over, putting a hand on John's shoulder and leaning on him. John tried not to look uncomfortable. He grinned over at Karkat. “ThIs MoThErFuCkEr Is OfFeRiNg Us SoMe GrAdE-a MiRaClEs, BrOtHeR. dOn'T qUeStIoN tHe--"
“NO, NO, FUCK NO. THIS IS NOT A MIRACLE, YOU RETARD, THIS IS A TRAP."
“but it's not a trap! i got you guys sandwiches and juice boxes and even fruit gushers. they're still in the wrappers and everything!"
Nepeta snatched the bags from John's hands and searched through them. “:33 < these look purrfectly safe to me!"
Gamzee knelt down to inspect the food with Nepeta. “ThAt SaNdWiCh LoOkS fUcKiNg MiRaCuLoUs, SiStEr, HaNd iT hErE." Nepeta handed him the sandwich and he started to remove its wrapper.
“NO!" Nepeta and Gamzee looked up at him. Gamzee stopped unwrapping the food, but the two of them looked at him with such hungry eyes that he couldn't help but feel guilty for stopping them. He faltered. “UH. OKAY LOOK. WE'LL EAT THE FOOD. BUT HAVE ME TRY IT FIRST, SO IF IT'S POISONED ONLY ONE OF US'LL DIE."
John put his hands in his pockets, beaming. “oh haha, i bet you just wanna get first pick of everything."
“TALK AGAIN AND I'LL CUT YOU INTO TINY PIECES AND FEED YOU TO SOME SORRY FUCKING SALAMANDERS." Karkat motioned at Nepeta. “GIVE ME THAT. IF I DROP DEAD, KILL THIS ASSHOLE."
Nepeta took the sandwich from Gamzee and handed it to Karkat, her expression apprehensive. “:33 < okay, but i think you're going to be fine karcat!"
Karkat looked the sandwich over. It looked pretty okay. He smelled it-- oh god, he was so hungry. He was even hungrier than Nepeta and Gamzee were, as every time he found any food he usually just gave them the larger share. This sandwich, even with the threat of poison, smelled delicious. Taking a deep breath, he took a bite. He chewed it, savoring the flavor and also what might be his last few moments of life, and swallowed hard. He stood there for a moment, waiting to break into convulsions.
John, Gamzee and Nepeta all watched him for a few moments before John finally said, “well? do you believe me now?"
“:33 < i told you! can we chow down meow?"
Karkat felt a little foolish, but no less suspicious. He handed the sandwich back to Gamzee. “UH. YEAH. EAT UP."
John giggled as the two of them tore into the food and drink he'd given to them. Karkat gritted his teeth, irritated by his happiness. “DON'T THINK I'M NOT STILL ON TO YOU," he said.
John continued to giggle, but tried to stop. “yeah, because i'm like a secret agent out to poison random people or something right?"
“I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE. IT SOUNDS SO FUCKING STUPID WHEN YOU SAY IT."
“that's because it is stupid!" John took a few steps back. “anyway i guess i'll let you guys eat. see you later!"
He turned and left, almost skipping as he exited into the street. Karkat was glad to have him gone-- after all, he'd feel like a real dumbass eating this shit right in front of him. He sat down and ate, making sure to look appropriately angry while doing so. He was so glad that John was gone that he overlooked the fact that John's parting words hadn't been "goodbye."
They were "see you later." And see them he did.
He showed up again and again, almost every day, carrying bags of food for the trio. Sometimes he'd sit and eat with them, asking them questions and trying to get to know them, but usually Karkat would just chase him away. Karkat hated accepting handouts from this kid. He hated being some spoiled derp's charity case. But what he hated even more was seeing his friends starve. So he let John keep coming, keep giving them all the food he could carry. He just didn't give John the satisfaction of seeing them eat it.
Karkat was relieved when Mr. Pupa took them in. Besides not having to live on the streets anymore, he no longer had to deal with John. Granted, Pupa asked a lot in return, but at least Karkat wasn't accepting a handout. Fuck, he hated handouts. Still, he almost missed the kid. It became clear to him that John really didn't have an ulterior motive-- he was just a naive kid who genuinely wanted to help. Karkat's mind boggled at the level of stupidity that would breed such idealism, but it was such a nice change from all the other assholes he had to deal with on a daily basis.
He ran into John for the first time in weeks at night, as he was walking home from getting yelled at by Pupa again. John was about to walk into a restaurant when he noticed Karkat. He grinned and ran over, grabbing Karkat by the arm and offering to buy him dinner.
“WHOA, LET ME GO YOU ASSHAT. I DON'T NEED YOUR CHARITY ANYMORE."
“why, did you get a job or something?"
“YOU COULD SAY THAT, YEAH." Karkat felt no small amount of shame saying that. He hoped John wouldn't pry further, but it was a futile hope.
“i bet you're doing bad stuff, aren't you?" It was a question, but there was no uncertainty in his voice.
“HEY, GUESS WHO I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT TO? I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT, HE'S A HUGE FUCKING DORK AND HE WON'T LET GO OF MY ARM."
John let go. “jesus, you're always so touchy. fine, then how about i buy you dinner as congratulations on getting a job?"
“WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT OF THAT?"
“i dunno, i just want to do something nice for my friend! why's everyone always got to have a motive with you?"
“I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND, IDIOT."
“whatever! come on!"
John waved Karkat over as he walked into the building. Karkat growled, pulling at his hair in annoyance until he finally followed John inside. The restaurant was on the top of a two-story building, above some other unrelated business. John was sitting at a bar facing a window, looking out at the lights of Alternia City. Karkat pulled over a chair and sat down, trying to look like he wasn't totally pathetic.
“i really am just trying to help, karkat. it's really annoying that you keep yelling at me and stuff," he said, furrowing his brow behind square glasses.
“I KNOW. BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I EVER ASKED FOR YOUR HELP."
John sighed. “why do you need to ask? if someone needs help they should get it, even if they don't say anything. don't you think so?"
“TELL ME, DID YOU JUST WRIGGLE OUT OF YOUR CAVE LAST WEEK OR SOMETHING?"
“stop insulting me already! i know it's kind of stupid, fine. i just want to help the city any way i can. things have gotten bad enough already."
It was the first time Karkat had ever heard John acknowledge that the world wasn't all bright and awesome. The crabby troll leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “YEAH. THINGS ARE PRETTY MUCH FUCKED HERE."
“i don't think it has to be that way though. it's not too late to turn things around."
“MAYBE IF SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY HAD POWER THOUGHT THE WAY YOU DID, YEAH, MAYBE SOMETHING WOULD CHANGE. AS IT IS, EVERYONE WITH POWER IS TOO BUSY LORDING IT OVER THE REST OF US SACKS OF SHIT."
“but i do have power," John said, looking at his hands pensively. “i just--"
“THICKHEADEDNESS ISN'T A POWER, EGBERT."
John laughed, but there was a nervousness under it. He paused, then said, “i know about the bad stuff you do, karkat."
“WAIT. HOW, EXACTLY?"
“but i know it's not your fault! it's just that you're stuck in a bad situation. lots of other people are like that too! i just think it's so awful that all these good people keep having to hurt other people just to get by."
“ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY I'M A GOOD PERSON? MAYBE I SHOULD EXPLAIN SOME THINGS TO YOU."
“but i don't know what to do, karkat! even my friends who seem like they know what they're doing haven't changed much. how do you change a whole city?"
“WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME? I'M PART OF THE PROBLEM, REMEMBER? ALL THAT BAD STUFF YOU SOMEHOW KNOW ABOUT?"
“you're not though, that's just it." He leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. He looked genuinely troubled, and Karkat was taken aback by it.
A waiter came by and took their orders. After the waiter was gone, John leaned back again, looked at the city, then at Karkat.
“hey karkat?"
“WHAT?"
“are you sure we're not friends?"
Karkat scratched his head. “I DON'T KNOW." He looked off to the side. “MAYBE WE ARE."
John smiled. The two of them looked forward, out at the cruel city. Karkat tried to imagine all the plans and ideas whirling around John's vacant head. He wondered what it must be like to have that luxury, to be able to think about the big picture instead of just where his next meal was coming from and if he'd be dead the next morning. It was probably pretty nice.
Woooooo.
If I write more Homestuck fanfics I guess they'll probably end up here too... hmmmm. Maybe I should make myself a nice Homestuck userpic.
So I'll just post it here and link to it from the Tumblrs.
Maybe I'll post it on DA later, but I wanted to have it somewhere besides the MSPA forums that allowed it to be seen in all its colorful glory.
It's a Homestuck fanfic, by the way. It's for the TrollCops AU. That being said, notes for anyone who reads this who isn't an MSPA fan:
- The text formatting/colors on the dialogue is just one of those things, you know. I felt weird leaving it out, it didn't feel genuine that way...
- Since this is for an AU, it contains no spoilers (beyond the fact that the trolls are there, I guess?) so no worries there I guess.
- Basic rundown of what you need to know for this AU's storyline is, Karkat and his friends are street urchins, John's a windy asshole superhero. Also John == human, Karkat and his friends == trolls.
Bluh bluh I talk too much. On to the fanfic!
While Karkat paid close attention to the people around him at all times, he usually didn’t register faces at all. Nobody was ever a person, really, they were all just potential threats to himself or to his friends.
This face, though. He kept seeing this face.
At first it was purely coincidence. Karkat assumed that the kid’s daily routine probably brought him near Karkat’s hangouts pretty often. But over time, he kept seeing that kid all the time, paying a lot more attention to Karkat than Karkat was paying to him. It made him nervous. What was this kid’s deal? Karkat kept trying to figure out where his allegiances might lie. He looked too derpy to be involved with the Felt or the Midnight Crew, and obviously he wasn’t Dave Strider so he couldn’t be in the Strider Mafia. Maybe he was with the police, trying to collect evidence…
Karkat was sitting in an alley with Nepeta and Gamzee when he next saw the kid. Karkat had his back to the street and didn’t realize the kid was there until he was right behind him-that’s what he got for expecting Gamzee to warn him about anything, he supposed. Karkat jumped to his feet, his hand instinctively gripping his handscythe, as he glared at the kid. Said kid just stood there smiling, holding a pair of plastic bags in his hands.
“THE HELL DO YOU WANT, FUCKASS?”
Karkat’s manner did nothing to quell the kid’s sunny disposition. He just smiled up at Karkat with his stupid buckteeth and said, “hi, i am john! what’s your name?”
“ARE YOU AN IDIOT? NO WAIT, DON’T ANSWER THAT, IT’S OBVIOUS YOU’RE SOME KIND OF MORON ROYALTY.”
Karkat groaned as Gamzee decided to speak. “HeY mOtHeRfUcKeR, tHaT’s My BrOtHeR kArKat.”
Nepeta chimed in too. “:33 < yeah! and that’s gamz33 and i’m nepeta!”
John looked way too pleased. “nice to meet you guys! hehe, i hope i don't come off as creepy or anything--"
“NO, JUST STUPID."
“--but i saw you guys eating food out of the trash yesterday and i thought that must really suck, so i brought you some fresh food to eat!" He held up the two bags in his hands, bearing the logo of the nearest grocery store.
Nepeta's face lit up. “:33 < yaaaay! you're the best!"
She leapt forward to take the offering, but Karkat stopped her. Not releasing John from his death glare, Karkat said to Nepeta, “WAIT JUST A FUCKING SECOND. WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT STRANGERS?
Nepeta whined. “:33 < but he--"
“WE DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL THIS ASSHOLE IS, OR IF JOHN IS EVEN HIS REAL NAME. WHAT IF THAT FOOD'S DRUGGED OR SOMETHING?" He rolled his eyes. “NOT THAT GAMZEE WOULD MIND."
John's smile finally broke, and was replaced by a confused look. “what? why would i do something like that?"
“WHY WOULD YOU HAND OUT FOOD TO RANDOM STRANGERS? SEE, I CAN ASK STUPID QUESTIONS TOO! WHO DO YOU WORK FOR, JOHN HUMAN?"
Gamzee shuffled over, putting a hand on John's shoulder and leaning on him. John tried not to look uncomfortable. He grinned over at Karkat. “ThIs MoThErFuCkEr Is OfFeRiNg Us SoMe GrAdE-a MiRaClEs, BrOtHeR. dOn'T qUeStIoN tHe--"
“NO, NO, FUCK NO. THIS IS NOT A MIRACLE, YOU RETARD, THIS IS A TRAP."
“but it's not a trap! i got you guys sandwiches and juice boxes and even fruit gushers. they're still in the wrappers and everything!"
Nepeta snatched the bags from John's hands and searched through them. “:33 < these look purrfectly safe to me!"
Gamzee knelt down to inspect the food with Nepeta. “ThAt SaNdWiCh LoOkS fUcKiNg MiRaCuLoUs, SiStEr, HaNd iT hErE." Nepeta handed him the sandwich and he started to remove its wrapper.
“NO!" Nepeta and Gamzee looked up at him. Gamzee stopped unwrapping the food, but the two of them looked at him with such hungry eyes that he couldn't help but feel guilty for stopping them. He faltered. “UH. OKAY LOOK. WE'LL EAT THE FOOD. BUT HAVE ME TRY IT FIRST, SO IF IT'S POISONED ONLY ONE OF US'LL DIE."
John put his hands in his pockets, beaming. “oh haha, i bet you just wanna get first pick of everything."
“TALK AGAIN AND I'LL CUT YOU INTO TINY PIECES AND FEED YOU TO SOME SORRY FUCKING SALAMANDERS." Karkat motioned at Nepeta. “GIVE ME THAT. IF I DROP DEAD, KILL THIS ASSHOLE."
Nepeta took the sandwich from Gamzee and handed it to Karkat, her expression apprehensive. “:33 < okay, but i think you're going to be fine karcat!"
Karkat looked the sandwich over. It looked pretty okay. He smelled it-- oh god, he was so hungry. He was even hungrier than Nepeta and Gamzee were, as every time he found any food he usually just gave them the larger share. This sandwich, even with the threat of poison, smelled delicious. Taking a deep breath, he took a bite. He chewed it, savoring the flavor and also what might be his last few moments of life, and swallowed hard. He stood there for a moment, waiting to break into convulsions.
John, Gamzee and Nepeta all watched him for a few moments before John finally said, “well? do you believe me now?"
“:33 < i told you! can we chow down meow?"
Karkat felt a little foolish, but no less suspicious. He handed the sandwich back to Gamzee. “UH. YEAH. EAT UP."
John giggled as the two of them tore into the food and drink he'd given to them. Karkat gritted his teeth, irritated by his happiness. “DON'T THINK I'M NOT STILL ON TO YOU," he said.
John continued to giggle, but tried to stop. “yeah, because i'm like a secret agent out to poison random people or something right?"
“I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE. IT SOUNDS SO FUCKING STUPID WHEN YOU SAY IT."
“that's because it is stupid!" John took a few steps back. “anyway i guess i'll let you guys eat. see you later!"
He turned and left, almost skipping as he exited into the street. Karkat was glad to have him gone-- after all, he'd feel like a real dumbass eating this shit right in front of him. He sat down and ate, making sure to look appropriately angry while doing so. He was so glad that John was gone that he overlooked the fact that John's parting words hadn't been "goodbye."
They were "see you later." And see them he did.
He showed up again and again, almost every day, carrying bags of food for the trio. Sometimes he'd sit and eat with them, asking them questions and trying to get to know them, but usually Karkat would just chase him away. Karkat hated accepting handouts from this kid. He hated being some spoiled derp's charity case. But what he hated even more was seeing his friends starve. So he let John keep coming, keep giving them all the food he could carry. He just didn't give John the satisfaction of seeing them eat it.
Karkat was relieved when Mr. Pupa took them in. Besides not having to live on the streets anymore, he no longer had to deal with John. Granted, Pupa asked a lot in return, but at least Karkat wasn't accepting a handout. Fuck, he hated handouts. Still, he almost missed the kid. It became clear to him that John really didn't have an ulterior motive-- he was just a naive kid who genuinely wanted to help. Karkat's mind boggled at the level of stupidity that would breed such idealism, but it was such a nice change from all the other assholes he had to deal with on a daily basis.
He ran into John for the first time in weeks at night, as he was walking home from getting yelled at by Pupa again. John was about to walk into a restaurant when he noticed Karkat. He grinned and ran over, grabbing Karkat by the arm and offering to buy him dinner.
“WHOA, LET ME GO YOU ASSHAT. I DON'T NEED YOUR CHARITY ANYMORE."
“why, did you get a job or something?"
“YOU COULD SAY THAT, YEAH." Karkat felt no small amount of shame saying that. He hoped John wouldn't pry further, but it was a futile hope.
“i bet you're doing bad stuff, aren't you?" It was a question, but there was no uncertainty in his voice.
“HEY, GUESS WHO I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT TO? I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT, HE'S A HUGE FUCKING DORK AND HE WON'T LET GO OF MY ARM."
John let go. “jesus, you're always so touchy. fine, then how about i buy you dinner as congratulations on getting a job?"
“WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT OF THAT?"
“i dunno, i just want to do something nice for my friend! why's everyone always got to have a motive with you?"
“I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND, IDIOT."
“whatever! come on!"
John waved Karkat over as he walked into the building. Karkat growled, pulling at his hair in annoyance until he finally followed John inside. The restaurant was on the top of a two-story building, above some other unrelated business. John was sitting at a bar facing a window, looking out at the lights of Alternia City. Karkat pulled over a chair and sat down, trying to look like he wasn't totally pathetic.
“i really am just trying to help, karkat. it's really annoying that you keep yelling at me and stuff," he said, furrowing his brow behind square glasses.
“I KNOW. BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I EVER ASKED FOR YOUR HELP."
John sighed. “why do you need to ask? if someone needs help they should get it, even if they don't say anything. don't you think so?"
“TELL ME, DID YOU JUST WRIGGLE OUT OF YOUR CAVE LAST WEEK OR SOMETHING?"
“stop insulting me already! i know it's kind of stupid, fine. i just want to help the city any way i can. things have gotten bad enough already."
It was the first time Karkat had ever heard John acknowledge that the world wasn't all bright and awesome. The crabby troll leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “YEAH. THINGS ARE PRETTY MUCH FUCKED HERE."
“i don't think it has to be that way though. it's not too late to turn things around."
“MAYBE IF SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY HAD POWER THOUGHT THE WAY YOU DID, YEAH, MAYBE SOMETHING WOULD CHANGE. AS IT IS, EVERYONE WITH POWER IS TOO BUSY LORDING IT OVER THE REST OF US SACKS OF SHIT."
“but i do have power," John said, looking at his hands pensively. “i just--"
“THICKHEADEDNESS ISN'T A POWER, EGBERT."
John laughed, but there was a nervousness under it. He paused, then said, “i know about the bad stuff you do, karkat."
“WAIT. HOW, EXACTLY?"
“but i know it's not your fault! it's just that you're stuck in a bad situation. lots of other people are like that too! i just think it's so awful that all these good people keep having to hurt other people just to get by."
“ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY I'M A GOOD PERSON? MAYBE I SHOULD EXPLAIN SOME THINGS TO YOU."
“but i don't know what to do, karkat! even my friends who seem like they know what they're doing haven't changed much. how do you change a whole city?"
“WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME? I'M PART OF THE PROBLEM, REMEMBER? ALL THAT BAD STUFF YOU SOMEHOW KNOW ABOUT?"
“you're not though, that's just it." He leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. He looked genuinely troubled, and Karkat was taken aback by it.
A waiter came by and took their orders. After the waiter was gone, John leaned back again, looked at the city, then at Karkat.
“hey karkat?"
“WHAT?"
“are you sure we're not friends?"
Karkat scratched his head. “I DON'T KNOW." He looked off to the side. “MAYBE WE ARE."
John smiled. The two of them looked forward, out at the cruel city. Karkat tried to imagine all the plans and ideas whirling around John's vacant head. He wondered what it must be like to have that luxury, to be able to think about the big picture instead of just where his next meal was coming from and if he'd be dead the next morning. It was probably pretty nice.
Woooooo.
If I write more Homestuck fanfics I guess they'll probably end up here too... hmmmm. Maybe I should make myself a nice Homestuck userpic.