And the voices of those who stand looking.....

[sekzigoddess87]

So today was MARGINALLY better than the other days. I felt like shit getting up this morning. I really just did not want to go to class. I was dreading it throughout the whole bus ride. I could feel the knotin my stomach and it just wouldn't go away. Forget eating, I couldn't even think about that, I would have thrown up. I had my pride though. I went in that class and it was just me and him alone in the room. It was the most awkward thing i've ever felt in my life. Finally, Keith came in the room, but it was still awkward. Fuck, that whole class was awkward. I justhated every second of it. It's hard to try and hate and ignore someone who you realli care about. I don't think i've ever left that room so quickly in my life. I had to go to the main building to get the music club "posters"approved anyways. That went really well, actually. I didn't end up getting them approved, but I actually accomplished something else. On the same exact day, they're going to be having a fashion show in the tech building, and they wanted to have a talent portion with musicians, so we're going to join forces and it makes everything so much easier. So now, I had to go back to East Hall and talk to Krikin. I wouldn't have done this if I could have avoided it, seeing as I knew Chris would be there. However, my duty to the music club overrides any of my problems with Chris. It's so hard to just stand there and try to ignore him and pretend like he's not there. I was trying realli hard to not talk to him. Not for me, but for him. I thought it wouldmake him happy. However, Krikin had to leave the room to make a copy and well.....I caved. I hate when I do that! I can never stay mad at anybody DAMMIT. He just smiled at me and in my head I was like "oh shit." Then he said that he was proud of me for trying so hard and that's when I started yelling and arguing and then eventually I calmed down. So we're sorta.....okay now. Still rocky but we're kinda friends, I guess. Idk. I mean, I am going to pop/rock tonight, so that's good. I'm not gunna let myself love him anymore.Maybe if I try not to love him hard enough, I won't anymore. That's the strategy i'm going to try to use from now on and hopefully eveything will work itself out. I do think we should be less close. It just took something this harsh, this emotional slap in the face, if you will, to make me truly realize it. I kept saying we should stay apart but then I couldn't physically bring myself to do it. I feel better now but i'm still a little uneasy. Plus, I had a speech to do today and I never even prepared anything. That was fun. I had printed out some sheets online on vocal techniques before I saw Krikin, so I decided to just wing it based on the knowledge I already have and that which was on the sheet before me.I mean, I pretty much knew everything on there, just not the technical terms n shit. My speech went well, I think it wasmy best so far. Far better than my Beatles one, cuz I made sure to make a lot of eye contact and speak to everyone. Plus, we had a lot of laughs thanks to Alex. HAHAHAHA. He's such a bastard. Lolz. We all love him, though. Now i'm just in the library killing some time. Jason should be meeting up with me so we can go to pop/rock and I can catch him up on everything. Then after pop/rock, i'm off to work. I feel better about working tonight too. Hopefully, i'll be on register. Future counter supervisor, in the making. HAHA. Till tommorow.....

::Tommorow::

Class 11:25-2:35.

Working 6-10:30.

::Saturday::

Working 12-5.

Lucky Stiff @ 7 P.M.

::Sunday::

Church.