(no subject)
"Because Of You"
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
*************You should have known better than to lean on me**********
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
So how about this weekend Ryan told me that this song reminds him of me. I tend to agree. Ever since I dated a certain few people I have been a broken person. Yeah it sounds stupid but it's true. I know that my past relationships have shaped me into the person I am today: someone that's afraid to cry, afraid to really let someone in, and afraid of relationships in general. I'm starting to change that...but I know it's going to take a lot of work and patience. If I hurt you during this process I am sorry. Just know that I love you...desperately and forever
*This weekend was great! :) Ryan came to visit me and we went to see Saw II. I highly recommend going to see this. It was awesome! Yeah, there was a huge line...we had to buy tickets for the late night show and go back later but it was worth it! There is a lot more gore and craziness in this one.But it's still as twisted as the first. The end is another,"What the hell just happened?"
*After the movie we came back here to find Alison asleep...we were both wide awake so we walked around campus and laughed at the drunks. Everywhere we went there were drunk whores running around trying to hide from the cops. Once we were throughly bored with that we drove up to Philly Street. *(Which for you non-Indiana-ins, is the street with a bunch of stuff on it..kind of like Main St. in Greenville)* Sadly, the only thing we found was Sheetz. I got myself some nummy late night mac n cheese and a shmagel. Then we came back here so Ryan could get a shower and I could eat. We accidentally woke Alison up.. :( But I sat down and ate my food anyway while Ryan got a shower. When he came back we crawled in bed and went to sleep.
*Saturday we hung out around campus most of the day then went to the Indiana haunted house at 7ish. It was damn good! I was impressed. I expected it to be like the Cochranton Haunted House. Some poor little kid started crying..and I yelled at the guy who scared him. haha. The worst part of the house was the pitch black maze. Once you got so far you kept going into a room with doors. If you picked the wrong ones you kept going back to the room. Thankfully, we got in the room when the little kids were in there and we followed them..Everyone knows that little kids always find their way out of haunted houses. They're like rats.
*When the amusement and excitement of the haunted house was over we came back to my room and hung out while everyone played Apples to Apples. (I really can't explain this very well...so don't ask) We ended up just watching tv...and falling asleep during SNL. Crap! I forgot we went to my CEC thing. It was a life fair for kids. It was halloween themed and I was running the apple bobbing booth with a bunch of other girls. It was a good time :)
*Today we went out for a little bit, some shopping and such. Then we came back here to find Meghan and Alison watching Hitch. So of course we watched it with them and did some laundry in the meantime. After it was over Ryan left to go back to Willpo :(
*Ah! And so I got everything in here....I went to Willpo for my fall break. It was a grand time..I played with Ryan's new kitty cat and went to classes with him. Woohoo.
And that's all folks..because Megan is battering me to get this done.
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
*************You should have known better than to lean on me**********
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
So how about this weekend Ryan told me that this song reminds him of me. I tend to agree. Ever since I dated a certain few people I have been a broken person. Yeah it sounds stupid but it's true. I know that my past relationships have shaped me into the person I am today: someone that's afraid to cry, afraid to really let someone in, and afraid of relationships in general. I'm starting to change that...but I know it's going to take a lot of work and patience. If I hurt you during this process I am sorry. Just know that I love you...desperately and forever
*This weekend was great! :) Ryan came to visit me and we went to see Saw II. I highly recommend going to see this. It was awesome! Yeah, there was a huge line...we had to buy tickets for the late night show and go back later but it was worth it! There is a lot more gore and craziness in this one.But it's still as twisted as the first. The end is another,"What the hell just happened?"
*After the movie we came back here to find Alison asleep...we were both wide awake so we walked around campus and laughed at the drunks. Everywhere we went there were drunk whores running around trying to hide from the cops. Once we were throughly bored with that we drove up to Philly Street. *(Which for you non-Indiana-ins, is the street with a bunch of stuff on it..kind of like Main St. in Greenville)* Sadly, the only thing we found was Sheetz. I got myself some nummy late night mac n cheese and a shmagel. Then we came back here so Ryan could get a shower and I could eat. We accidentally woke Alison up.. :( But I sat down and ate my food anyway while Ryan got a shower. When he came back we crawled in bed and went to sleep.
*Saturday we hung out around campus most of the day then went to the Indiana haunted house at 7ish. It was damn good! I was impressed. I expected it to be like the Cochranton Haunted House. Some poor little kid started crying..and I yelled at the guy who scared him. haha. The worst part of the house was the pitch black maze. Once you got so far you kept going into a room with doors. If you picked the wrong ones you kept going back to the room. Thankfully, we got in the room when the little kids were in there and we followed them..Everyone knows that little kids always find their way out of haunted houses. They're like rats.
*When the amusement and excitement of the haunted house was over we came back to my room and hung out while everyone played Apples to Apples. (I really can't explain this very well...so don't ask) We ended up just watching tv...and falling asleep during SNL. Crap! I forgot we went to my CEC thing. It was a life fair for kids. It was halloween themed and I was running the apple bobbing booth with a bunch of other girls. It was a good time :)
*Today we went out for a little bit, some shopping and such. Then we came back here to find Meghan and Alison watching Hitch. So of course we watched it with them and did some laundry in the meantime. After it was over Ryan left to go back to Willpo :(
*Ah! And so I got everything in here....I went to Willpo for my fall break. It was a grand time..I played with Ryan's new kitty cat and went to classes with him. Woohoo.
And that's all folks..because Megan is battering me to get this done.