Pursuing My True Self
Lately, I've been wondering "who's the real me?" And I'm not sure I can answer that. I know who my ideal me is; and I know my close friends reading this probably have a good idea of who she is. But that isn't really the point. I've been giving thought to this; no doubt brought on by something someone's said to me.
Anyway, I recall when discussing personas in my Creative Writing class; and I likened it to Jungian theory. And I'm slightly disturbed at how easily I slip from one mask to another. When I need to be the dutiful wife, I just slip into that mask and fill the role. And if I'm someplace where I'm comfortable with showing the extroverted, type A side of my personality, I put my type A mask on. And if one of my friends needs a listening ear or advice, I just slide into my type B mask, listen to their problems, and try to give them advice from my own experiences (because that's the only legitimate way to give advice, I think) or direct them to a better source of advice, if my experiences aren't applicable. And when I need to put on my Library Professional mask on, I slide that one on too. And Student, and probably I could come up with a dozen or so other masks that I just seem to be able to flow in and out of. Some come more easily than others.
I suppose, saying things like that, I make myself sound like I go around insincerely impersonating those roles, but I can assure you I'm not faking any of them.
But which one is the real me; which portrayal of self is my True self? Does the fact that I can flow in and out of them so easily mean they are just a part of a whole? And what about the roles that are more difficult, the ones that I can't just slide in and out of - are they not really a part of me? Or are they just parts of me that aren't fully realized, or that I have trouble expressing?
Another reason this is bugging me is because of how easy it is to write Bailey. But even if I were to just write that off as coming easily because I put a good deal of myself in Bailey; the others shouldn't come quite so easily.
Anyway, these are just reflections for the moment; nothing anyone should be incredibly disturbed by. But I do welcome feedback on the issue, while I attempt to explore it myself.
Anyway, I recall when discussing personas in my Creative Writing class; and I likened it to Jungian theory. And I'm slightly disturbed at how easily I slip from one mask to another. When I need to be the dutiful wife, I just slip into that mask and fill the role. And if I'm someplace where I'm comfortable with showing the extroverted, type A side of my personality, I put my type A mask on. And if one of my friends needs a listening ear or advice, I just slide into my type B mask, listen to their problems, and try to give them advice from my own experiences (because that's the only legitimate way to give advice, I think) or direct them to a better source of advice, if my experiences aren't applicable. And when I need to put on my Library Professional mask on, I slide that one on too. And Student, and probably I could come up with a dozen or so other masks that I just seem to be able to flow in and out of. Some come more easily than others.
I suppose, saying things like that, I make myself sound like I go around insincerely impersonating those roles, but I can assure you I'm not faking any of them.
But which one is the real me; which portrayal of self is my True self? Does the fact that I can flow in and out of them so easily mean they are just a part of a whole? And what about the roles that are more difficult, the ones that I can't just slide in and out of - are they not really a part of me? Or are they just parts of me that aren't fully realized, or that I have trouble expressing?
Another reason this is bugging me is because of how easy it is to write Bailey. But even if I were to just write that off as coming easily because I put a good deal of myself in Bailey; the others shouldn't come quite so easily.
Anyway, these are just reflections for the moment; nothing anyone should be incredibly disturbed by. But I do welcome feedback on the issue, while I attempt to explore it myself.