(no subject)
I just dont know anymore... I sit here next to my grandma person and she is dying. I never quite understood that word. I am so black and white when it comes to death... you are either dead or your not. I never have ever seen an inbetween. She cant do anything on her own, I am sure this is frustrating for my papa but there is nothing that I can do to help him. She is right now eating her breakfast... at 15:23, I know, we have been sitting here for about 40 min and she is no where near done. Now for those who dont know I am almost 37 weeks pregnant and I cannot sit for a long period of time to watch her to make sure that she doesnt fall asleep and choke on her food or even inhale it to her lungs. My sister person is supposed to be doing that but instead she thinks that she is being helpful by washing my clothes.
I sit here and want to cry...
She has been dying for quite sometime and the thing is that everytime the Dr. gives her a week she pulls through. I think that she doesnt want to give up her chance to live and drag everyone through hell. she is not well and I just dont get why the prolonging of the enevetable.
So like I said I am almost done being pregnant and this is a good thing. It has been a long haul and a big load to carry. Soon I will have a beautiful litle girl to take care of... To me that is scary shit. I am scared to have to raise someone. They learn all I teach them and that is way fucked up. What do I know that will help her be a good and caring person?
To top everything off we are moving... in a month... and I have to get ready now because I will have more important things to worry about and so most of my stuff is packed in boxes already.
oh yeah and my fish have ick... so they are all dying and that pisses me off... If I cant take care of fish how am I supposed to take care of a bouncing baby????
Its a jungle out there...
I sit here and want to cry...
She has been dying for quite sometime and the thing is that everytime the Dr. gives her a week she pulls through. I think that she doesnt want to give up her chance to live and drag everyone through hell. she is not well and I just dont get why the prolonging of the enevetable.
So like I said I am almost done being pregnant and this is a good thing. It has been a long haul and a big load to carry. Soon I will have a beautiful litle girl to take care of... To me that is scary shit. I am scared to have to raise someone. They learn all I teach them and that is way fucked up. What do I know that will help her be a good and caring person?
To top everything off we are moving... in a month... and I have to get ready now because I will have more important things to worry about and so most of my stuff is packed in boxes already.
oh yeah and my fish have ick... so they are all dying and that pisses me off... If I cant take care of fish how am I supposed to take care of a bouncing baby????
Its a jungle out there...