A poem for a friend (you'll know who you are)
I have a friend, both here on LJ and on another list, who shall remain nameless for privacy's sake. She is being very brave and upbeat, but she is having to watch her dad fade away from her and her family due to Alzheimer's. I know it's incredibly hard and painful for her to do this. And yet in some ways I envy her... because she KNOWS her father, has memories of him, knows his life and who he is, even if he can no longer remember. I knew mine a little, but he had another family where I wasn't welcome, and so I have very few memories of him. He died over 15 years ago of cancer, so I'll never have the chance to change that. I've never stopped regretting that.
Tonight I was thinking about my friend, and I wondered how it would have been to really know my dad before he got sick; I only really got to watch him die. And this poem came out. Partly for me, but more for her, as I tried to see her father through her eyes.
I Remember You
You don't know me anymore
But I remember you
I remember hugs and kisses
Bedtime stories about Winnie the Pooh
Walks in the woods on a silent morning
Petting the bunnies at the zoo
Staring at the back of your head on road trips
Sitting on your lap watching cartoons on TV
Getting grounded for fighting with my sister
Decorating the Christmas tree
Waiting in line at Disneyland
Ice cream dripping off our chins
Squashing close for family photos
Love and laughter I'll never forget
Pretending not to see you struggle
Frustration when memories disappear
Some things should never be taken for granted
Especially the things we hold most dear
Wondering how much longer it will be
Before you forget who you are, too
You don't know me anymore, Dad
But I'll always love and remember you
Hugs to you, Sis.