(no subject)
I finally got some real worthwhile amount of sleep but I'm still a little tired. Deep down, I feel exhausted, in many ways. This mock audition isn't going to go well. I haven't practiced and I don't think I'll get much practice in at this point, since I have class in less than an hour. I wish I could not go. I don't think I can get away with that. So, I'll just play through them and leave it at that. I just don't care. Maybe I won't go. It's not important and I don't think I can control my stress enough to let it not affect me. Hmmm....I don't know. I'll have to make a decision soon. One thing that sucks about not getting enough sleep is it seriously weakens my emotional and mental fortitude.
Okay. that's settled. I just emailed my professor saying I won't be there. I'll still feel bad about it but I shouldn't be in lessons. Especially the semester I'm doing my capstone research paper??? yeah. I am so done. I need to just get through the rest of this shit, figure out where to live, get a loan, see my grandmother...and then I can have less to worry about...for a little while. I wish my family didn't expect so much of me as far as visiting or at least tried to help me visit them. I hate stress.
Okay. that's settled. I just emailed my professor saying I won't be there. I'll still feel bad about it but I shouldn't be in lessons. Especially the semester I'm doing my capstone research paper??? yeah. I am so done. I need to just get through the rest of this shit, figure out where to live, get a loan, see my grandmother...and then I can have less to worry about...for a little while. I wish my family didn't expect so much of me as far as visiting or at least tried to help me visit them. I hate stress.