I actually wrote something XD;;;
This is a piece that I'm doing with a friend. I'm writing Heechul's POV and she's writing Eeteuk's POV. She's currently working on the mirror in Eeteuk's POV but here's mine in Heechul's and I hope it's enjoyable. ^^V
I could not stop laughing. My band mates had brought my roommates back from their Elle photo shoot and the very instant that their hair came into my view I knew I was going to be completely gone for a good half hour. Tears welled up in my eyes as I flailed on the sofa, destined to roll off and onto the floor, laughing harder as the minutes passed. My newly quaffed band mates grumbled irritably at my outburst but I didn’t care, I just laughed harder as I saw Shin Dong collapse along with me, tears also in his eyes. We have superb senses of humor.
Having been so distracted by the horribly bad hair before me, I hadn’t noticed my hyung’s absence, the only member of Super Junior with seniority over me. I vaguely heard the front door open and close yet again and when I looked up I was greeted with the sight of a smiling Eeteuk. The very instant the older man came into view my laughter stopped. I could feel shock warping my features and my jaw dropping to what seemed like the floor. Vaguely I could hear Kibum taunting me about the flies that were currently setting up camp in my mouth (disgusting brat Kibum) but I had no time to think of such things when such a…delicious opportunity had presented itself. Two very important thoughts occurred to me almost simultaneously. Not only had I seen Eeteuk as more than just my hyung for the first time in my life, but I had started plotting. That wasn’t safe, at least not for Eeteuk, but I’d make it up to him in the long run.
My mouth slid shut and a horribly rotten grin tugged at the corner of my soft lips, my eyes narrowing in a predatory fashion as I honed in on what I wanted. No one really noticed this change, everyone was just happy that I had gone quiet (What if I had died?! No respect from these children, honestly!). When Kibum had mentioned me Eeteuk had glanced over to see what exactly was going on. Very quickly he was on the receiving end of my gaze and very aware of this fact, our eyes locked. I knew that he wasn’t going to look away, I knew I had him. This look was fool proof and always had been it actually worked best on fools but Teukie was no fool. I slowly stood and he watched me carefully as I got up. To me he was the only person left in that room, the only person I cared to entertain with my attention that is.
The game needed to continue so I ever so carefully sent a sensual wink my hyung’s way before coyly turning away from him and leaving the room in hopes that he’d follow. I don’t know why I was worried, they always followed when I swung my hips the way I was in that moment. As I made my way to my room I thought back, thinking hard about my interaction with Eeteuk these past couple years. He always stayed very busy being the leader hyung that he was to all the band as well as the eldest member. I started to get closer to him after Super Junior T was formed, we were around each other more. I could remember him always making me laugh and smile, playful fights that we both knew weren’t real. No matter when or why I decided to start an argument or a fight to relieve boredom, Eeteuk always saw through me. He’d smile in that all knowing (Annoying…) way and shake his head at me like I was a small child who amused him. Of all the band members he set me on edge the most, but he also drove me craziest. The way he got to me was different than the annoyances everyone else threw my way. His weren’t dismissive or cruel, they weren’t because he was tired or sick of hearing me talk. It always felt like he was a step ahead of me, like he had me all figured out and this thought suddenly terrified me. Had he planned all this? Knew I would want him the second he walked through the door? Was I being PLAYED!? His features flashed into mind and suddenly I couldn’t seem to care. If he really had planned all this then good for him, he was about to be rewarded for such brilliance and cunning. I wasn’t an easy guy to figure out after all.
I slipped into my room quietly and pushed my door to behind me, not shutting or locking it, just closing it enough so that barging in without knocking could still be considered rude. Flopping down on my soft cotton sheets I sighed. I was suddenly very tired of this game I had started but I was determined to finish it. Whining softly I rolled over on the bed as though it were a painful chore and fumbled with my iPod until it turned on, setting it in it’s little charger slash speaker dock so that I could lay back and enjoy my music while I waited for round two.
The player was quiet for a while before it brought up a song, it had been put on shuffle by myself the night before when I had been in a fickle mood, not quiet knowing what I wanted to listen to so deciding to listen to everything instead. I nearly laughed aloud as Midnight Fantasy started playing, a smirk and a snigger leaving me as I rolled over onto my back yet again in time to hear a soft knock, the door cracking open to reveal my hyung, also smirking much like myself. Something that was instantly and impossibly sexy, so sexy in fact that I couldn’t bring myself to scold him for entering my room and shutting the door behind him like he just had. Did I hear a lock click or was I just out of it on account of that smirk that had yet to falter?
I pried my eyes up and away from the alluring sight only to become lost in his intense gaze as I sat up and looked his way. When did he learn that trick!? My breath hitched a bit as I tried to stay calm, in control of my game that I started but I seemed destined to fail. Every step he took towards me proved itself to be my undoing. Without even thinking about it I scooted back on my bed, stopping myself the instant I realized what I was doing. My face must have been amusing because he chuckled, and I tried to hide the shiver at the sound which I couldn’t for the life of me hold back. No one got to me like this! Not a soul living or dead (Except maybe hide-hyung…oh yeah that wonderful man would own me so hard…(cough) anyway). But then hadn’t I said Eeteuk had always been different? I nearly jumped when he started talking, having been lost in my thoughts and the absolutely delicious sight of him in the dim lighting of my room still dressed sharply from the photo shoot at Elle.
“What an interesting song to be listening to Heenim. May I ask why you picked it?” He was being so cocky, his voice dripped with confidence and I was more than ready to knock him down a peg.
I snorted and shrugged, composure having returned to me as I clung to it and sobbed for it to never leave again, “I’m not the one to ask Teukie-hyung, my iPod is. It’s on random so it decides things for me.”
He didn’t falter, his sweet little smile of a smirk never wavering as he replied smoothly, “I didn’t know you let anyone decide things for you Heenim. Is today special?”
I was seething in under .05 seconds. How DARE he say such things to me!? The audacity of some people! I was ready and more than willing to fire back and hand him his ass (No I wasn’t. I had no IDEA what to say to that) when I felt his finger on my lips. His hands were cold and my anger instantly dissolved into nerves as my heart began to race as though his soft touch had been a slap across the face.
His voice was soft as he spoke to me, “Heenim, would you mind if I made some decisions for you today? I think you’d enjoy my ideas.” He smiled as sweet as sugar and I refused to believe that I had actually just swooned like some ill-mannered and tawdry fan girl…but I knew I had and that was dangerous, this time for me, not him.
His hand slid slowly up my cheek, it was just as cold as his finger had been and I shivered, tongue darting out over the lips he’d only just left behind. I remembered vaguely that he’d asked me a question but what he’d asked was fading away from me as I watched him draw closer through my lashes as my eye lids drooped ever so slightly at the pleasure of his touch. I should have been alert and ready to play hard ball, I should have made him work harder. I should not have nodded slowly and dumbly in response to the question I couldn’t remember but what I should and should not have done became irrelevant the very instant his lips sealed to mine.
Didn’t hyung like girls? Or at the very least Kang In? Wasn’t he too pretty to be this dominant, this confident? As his hand slid up into my hair to pull me closer and our tongues met (His tongue, unlike his hand, was scalding hot) I found myself powerless to stop the soft groan that bubbled up from my groin (Let’s be honest with ourselves, that is where it REALLY comes from). I could smell his cologne, it’s all I could smell and it made me think for a brief instant that he had somehow transported us to his room. What was happening? All of this was far too intense. Sure I had sex with men and women alike but never men in my band or women I worked with (Fine, don‘t believe me but it‘s the truth!), it was in poor taste and made for a hostile environment. Sure I liked arguments but not that kind. Even knowing that glaring truth I couldn’t push Teukie away, only pull him closer, my hands coming up to clutch his shirt firmly and tug us both down onto the bed.
He slid onto the bed with a fluidity that I couldn’t help but envy. I slowly laid back as he gracefully placed himself over me the kiss never breaking, our tongues still making each other‘s acquaintance. A new feeling invaded my senses as he tugged softly at my hair and deepened the kiss, pulling my soul out via my mouth along with all my good sense and (what was left of my) moral fiber, his free hand peaking up and under my shirt. It wasn’t cold and I vaguely wondered why but then his tongue flicked in a particularly mind numbing way and I moaned softly and forgot about body temperatures aside from my own which was steadily climbing as the seconds ticked by. I felt his fingertips on one of my nipples and gasped softly, a sound that was devoured by his never ceasing mouth along with all my moans that followed as he began to gently toy with the bud and my cheeks flushed with heat and color.
I felt my cock throb and realized yet again I was making this all too easy for him and if there’s one thing that can motivate higher brain functioning in myself it’s the salvaging of my pride. It was time to fight back. I made sure to let him stay in control of this kiss so he wouldn’t get suspicious, stealthily moving my arms and cracking open an eye to make sure he was distracted. My own moans which I still hadn’t figured out how to stop proved useful as my hyung seemed blissful and content to listen as long as he could, his eyes shut and mouth and hands busy. I quickly let my eye dart down to his chest before sliding it shut again, my hands finding their way, undetected, to Teukie’s chest. Waiting a moment before pouncing, both my hands splayed out on his chest and toyed with his nipples a bit roughly through the cotton fabric of his T-Shirt.
The long groan which fell into my mouth from his own was one of the single most satisfying things I had accomplished all year. I felt him shiver and I could’ve giggled joyfully. Then the tables shifted instantly. He tugged harshly at my hair causing me to gasp in shock and pain. His fingers pinched my nipple none too gently and I hissed in a confusing mix of pleasure and pain, a ragged breath leaving me as he broke the kiss in favor of sucking on my bottom lip. I was afraid he was going to bite me but he didn’t, choosing instead to let his hand trail out of my hair and down to my chest to meet his other hand. I took this moment to open my eyes and glance down, heart hammering in my chest.
Teukie had always been the sweet loving one hadn’t he? This behavior from him was frightening but at the same time ridiculously arousing. I tried to think back as both his hands toyed, my own having long since dropped down to grip my sheets tightly. Teukie was a man just like any of us, a very pretty one but so was I and I didn’t think it made me any less of a man. The most important question was if I trusted him with something this…intimate. Some people surprised you in the bedroom as their bedroom manner wasn’t always what their usual manner was. Could Teukie be one of these people? My eyes finally came into focus and I quickly realized why Teukie-hyung’s other hand had been warm. As we had been kissing and he’d been toying with my body he’d been touching himself. Alright so Teukie was defiantly one of those people (and fucking packing!). I decided that if the man hadn’t killed me the past few years out of pure annoyance and rage then I could trust him with this.
My eyes widened a bit and I groaned softly finally throwing caution to the wind and deciding that I’d liked what I’d seen and Teukie could slap me around as much as he liked as long as the end result was that…talent inside of me. I put my trust in him completely. Tilting my head up I resealed our lips and kissed the man above me with the passion I’d been holding back. I felt his cock bump my leg and was reassured that I wasn’t the only one who wanted this so badly. Whether or not this meant anything, whether or not he really cared about me, those things didn’t matter in this moment. All that mattered was that for now he was kissing me, bringing me pleasure and happiness, and that had to mean something in the long run (…right?).
His hands slid down and away from my abused nipples to caress my stomach and my sides as I returned the favor in my own way, sliding my hands under his jacket then his shirt to get at the hot soft skin that waited beneath, finger tips running gently over his ‘wings’ to grip at his shoulders as his hand began to rub at my erection through my pajama pants. A shuddering breath pushed past my lips and I shivered, bucking up to grind into that hand that controlled me completely in that moment.
Everything blurred quickly. My shirt flew across the room, his jacket and shirt tumbled to lay in a crumpled heap on the floor next to my bed. Meetings like this one always seemed to happen so suddenly, subconscious urges suddenly taking over all conscious thought as long ignored desires were finally satisfied. As we tore the clothing off one another, my pants being shimmed off and his kicked away along with his boxers to some unknown corner of my room (I hadn’t been wearing any underwear that night), we’d occasionally stop. The moment seemed to slow and we’d meet again, hands roaming frantically and lips and tongue and teeth clashing and devouring one another hungrily as we growled and groaned and gripped. I’d scratch him and he’d bite me, we’d hiss and moan and return to tossing clothing around the room.
Once we were both naked I just knew it would become awkward but it didn’t. He couldn’t take his eyes away from me and I couldn’t stop blushing (…what the fuck!? When did I start BLUSHING!??!). I wasn’t about to look away either, my hands took every chance they could to touch him. I’d caress his ‘wings’ and suck on his neck as we ground our bare erections together and cried at out the feeling, my voice muffled against his skin while his cries filled my ears with the sweetest of sounds. I curled around him and hung on tight, I didn’t want to ever let this man go, this beautiful, brilliant, and sexually boisterous man.
I had always thought that I didn’t know Eeteuk very well. I thought there other members of Super Junior that I was closer to and knew better, but now in this moment memories flooded back of when we’d talked about family and relationships. I recalled having spent one night crying on his shoulder after getting a particularly nasty bit of hate mail and seeing that my website’s hits had gone down that week as well. It slowly became clear to me that he’d always been right there in the shadows, waiting in the wings to catch me when no one else did. I had been too wrapped up in my own life, my own problems and how much I needed them to be everyone else’s problems, to notice that one person had been listening and honestly, truly caring about them and about me the whole time. I hadn’t needed anyone else.
A single slick finger slid into me and brought me back to the moment, realizing that I had tears in my eyes from my realization which trailed slowly down my cheeks when I blinked. Instantly he was there, his finger working at stretching me as his lips kissed away my tears. I wanted to cry harder but I didn’t, my arms wrapping around his neck as he kissed me so painfully sweetly while adding a second finger causing me to hiss then groan, rocking back on that heavenly intrusion and telling myself to think about the future after the present stopped being so damn wonderful.
When the fingers were removed I felt like he was punishing me and I whimpered softly as if to ask what I had done. He chuckled deeply and I shivered at the sensual sound, arms staying locked around his shoulders and neck to make sure he stayed close. He leaned in and kissed me, a more than sufficient apology for removing his fingers, little did I know he did so as a distraction. I felt something soft and large press up against my entrance and my heart began to jackhammer as I did my best to fight off any nerves so as not to tense up and make it worse for myself. His tongue slid slowly into my mouth as his hips thrust forward carefully, one fluid and painful motion that situated his generous length inside of me. I cried out in a mix of pleasure and pain, a noise which he broke the kiss for. I assume he wanted to hear me because as my cry dissolved into a whimper I could feel his cock throbbing inside of me with renewed vigor, a feeling that I absolutely adored.
A pleased sigh fluttered past my lips and I cracked suddenly heavy eye lids open to glance up at the man who was now and forever my lover. He was smiling softly (possibly lovingly?) but then the smile turned to a grin and he leaned in sucking at my neck until it hurt as he slowly built up a rhythm. I was completely overwhelmed by the dual sensations and was helpless to do more than cling to him and tell him through sound how greatly I was pleased. Soft sighs, long groans, sharp intakes of breath, and needy moans all meshed together as my fluid and constant responses to his actions. I could feel him smirking against my neck and it only made my cock all the harder.
His pace was maddening and I wanted more but something in me told me if I asked for more it wouldn’t turn out the way I thought it would. Teukie continued with that frustrating pace of his, sweat beading up on our skin and reminding me of the Don’t Don filming. My lover looked amazing when he was wet. I leaned up and licked at his neck groaning in pleasure at the salty sweet taste of his skin unable to hold myself back any longer. I let out a long loud moan as though it were an apology for speaking at all, panting out through gasping breaths as his thrusts occasionally hit all the right places, “M-more, f-faster, please hyung.” There I’d begged. I sure as fuck hopes he was happy.
He seemed to be happy about it, another chuckle sounding from where I assumed he was still destroying the original hue of my neck turning it all sorts of dark hickey induced colors. My hyung moved away from my neck and looked down at me, his eyes were dark with lust and I found myself happily drowning in them.
“On your hands and knees,” he ordered with a rough hiss. He was painfully hard, I knew he was all too well considering where his cock was at that moment, and I felt a little bad for stopping him but I had yet to be directly touched by those amazingly soft hands in the one place I’d have liked to be so I didn’t berate myself for too long. He slid out of me and I whimpered at the loss, moving as quickly as I could so that I could get that amazing cock back. As I shifted I noticed a bottle of lotion I kept on my dresser laying on the sheets a little ways away and was very glad that it had been there, a part of me certain that had it not been easily obtained I’d be very sore and torn.
I proudly poked my ass into the air and braced myself on hands and knees for whatever was about to happen. I felt him squeeze out more lotion directly onto my entrance and I blushed faintly and moaned wantonly, biting at my lip and writhing just a bit as he worked it all inside me with diligent fingers. He rubbed the pink pucker with slick fingers in a vulgar fashion that made my cock ache before stopping. I felt him move behind me, the mattress moving as his weight shifted, the bottle being tossed aside carelessly back onto the mattress. His hands cupped and massaged my ass slowly, one hand smearing lotion on my soft ass cheek. I could feel his hot gaze on my hole as he spread my cheeks open and it drove me mad. One of the hands left for a brief instant only to be brought back down in the form of a harsh slap to the lotion stained cheek. The hit stung and I cried out, back arching a bit as he did it again and I whimpered. Blow after blow reigned down and I felt like I would surely die of the exquisite pleasurable torture. He stopped briefly but only to switch sides. Tears welled in my eyes and my ass burned, the cheeks tinged pink then given time and abuse red. A few tears slipped out of my eyes and I knew I’d had more than enough. At this point I wasn’t above begging.
“P-please fuck me,” I whimpered desperately, praying to a god I didn’t believe in that he’d relent, “please hyung fuck me!”
Another blow then his hands stilled. I was panting raggedly at this point, my cock leaking precum which dripped onto my sheets forming a little wet spot that was only getting bigger. He massaged my hot stinging ass carefully as I hissed and shivered at the feeling then without warning his hands quickly slid up to my hips and jerked me back roughly onto his hard cock which slid in easily thanks to the lotion, filling me to what felt like bursting. A loud cry that I was sure everyone in the dorms heard bounced off the walls. Teukie laughed and I gasped for breath, the thrust having forced all the air from my lungs. Before I could even take in a full gulp of sweet air he was slamming into me with a unforgiving pace and impossibly hard thrusts. My stomach turned and my body writhed, back arcing and head jerking back as a scream of pleasure was torn from me. No sex had ever been this good.
He slammed into my prostate and I swear my heart stopped. My hands gripped tightly at the sheets at I felt helpless and useless in the face of his overwhelming passion and lust. Moan after scream after shout was milked out of me by his thrusts and I felt my body ready to explode, with a choked and hoarse tone I rasped, “P-please touch me! Teukie-hyung please!”
At first I wasn’t sure he had heard me, nothing changed about his movements and his hands were still gripping my hips tight enough to bruise, but then I felt him begin to slow then stop entirely. He managed a chuckle through his panting and slowly slid out of me. I could’ve cried at the loss. Surely there was an explanation for this so I waited and looked behind me, watching him move to sit back against the head board. I watched the way his muscles shifted under immaculate skin and my hands ached to touch him anywhere he’d let me. He scooped up the lubricant and with arms that seemed tired he fumbled the cap off and re-coated his gleaming rock hard cock. I’d never get tired of that sight.
I couldn’t help but lick my lips as I watched the show which was over all too soon. I wanted to suck that cock until it exploded but at this point hygiene demanded I waited until after (Or during) a nice hot shower. The words protection suddenly screamed loudly in my head but I ignored them. I was tested a few weeks after each of my sexploits and Eeteuk didn’t seem like the kind of guy who fucked just anyone bareback so with the reassurance of my ego that I was indeed special like I always had been I turned my gaze to Teukie’s own. His eyes bore into mine and demanded me to come to him so I grinned and crawled to him making a spectacle of myself with lude ass and hip movements. A spectacle that he seemed to enjoy immensely if his expression was a good judge.
I paused at his feet, his legs stretched out in front of him, and he told me clearly, his voice stained with lust, “Why don’t you come over here and ride me Heenim, I’d like to watch you touch yourself.”
Well I was fucked. Literally. The words went straight to my cock and all of my dignity left me that is if the heavy spanking hadn’t done that already. I quickly crawled into his lap and licking my lips slowly positioned myself above him. A dark blush, the last remains of what had been my dignity, was in place on my cheeks as I slid down onto that wonderfully hard erection the both of us moaning together as I did so. Waiting a moment to savor the feeling I felt my hyung become impatient, bucking his hips up a bit causing me to cry out in pleasure and that was all the order I needed.
With a steady slow bounce of my knees I impaled myself on his cock over and over taking extreme pleasure in the feel of him sliding into me so intimately. My mind turned into a puddle along with the rest of me, a long soft sigh fluttering past my parted lips. I prayed to that non-existent god yet again that my leg wouldn’t start acting up as this position was far from good for me for extended periods of time but I knew the both of us wouldn’t last much longer. I felt self consciousness flare up in me suddenly as I noticed my scars from my surgery. I had looked down in a moment of weakness to watch myself ride him, a sight I was sure would be sinfully beautiful (and it had been), and hoped he didn’t notice or at the very least didn’t care about the scars. After an eternity of sliding up then back down I reached out to steady myself with one hand on the head board while my other hand wrapped around my erection causing me to let out a long moan of unbridled pleasure.
I bounced rougher and jerked myself faster, whimpering and bowing my head, stomach heating and turning at the amazing feeling as my white knuckled grip on the metal barred head board kept me steady. I needed to cum right that instant before I died but the tone of all that had occurred earlier demanded one last thing of me. The blush faded from my cheeks as I completely stopped caring about anything but mine and my lover’s pleasure and I clenched myself tightly around the arousal buried deep inside of me while moaning, “Please let me cum! C-can I please cum Teukie-hyung?”
I heard him groan loudly as I continued to bounce and work my cock then a gasp of, “Yes! Cum for me,” fell from his lips and I exploded with a scream of his name. Brilliant white light burst behind my lids as I came in strong spurts in my hand and on Teukie’s stomach and chest. As I came I could hear the grunts and pants of the man beneath me as he jerked his hips up, thrusting into me a few more times before wet heat erupted inside of me. I groaned and my cock twitched spurting one last time at the amazing feeling of being claimed, being filled.
Had he said my name as he came? I knew I’d said his. My head was fuzzy and all I wanted to do was die because then I could carry this moment on with me forever. I was so tired. I just wanted to pass out, to curl up into a ball and stop having to think. His hands were on my chest, gently pushing me back onto the sheets which I knew must have been a mess much like I was in the aftermath of such amazing sex. My nose wrinkled in displeasure as I realized I was laying on the soaked in puddle of my precum that I had made earlier and I whined a bit as I stretched out only to kick the lotion causing it to roll onto the floor. I pouted and was ready to whine some more but soft lips on my own stopped me and I blushed faintly, a soft smile tugging at my lips as I wrapped my arms around Teukie’s neck, pulling him close and deepening the kiss with a soft contented sigh.
I never wanted him to leave me and the sudden realization of this hit me so hard I nearly gasped aloud. When had this happened? When had I fallen for Eeteuk so fully? Had it been the first time he smiled at me, patched up my bruised ego with kind heart felt words, came to visit me in the hospital every Tuesday and Saturday like clock work after my accident, cooked for me (it had been Ramen every time but I’d always eaten every last bite) and came to visit whenever Han Gen left for China knowing I’d be lonely without him around, stayed behind with me at dance practice time and time again until I knew what I was doing (for the most part…), smiled reassuringly at me the first day we met because I was obviously (at least to him) painfully nervous, helped me iron out my schedule so I wouldn’t end up killing myself, shit was I really this blind?! I hadn’t noticed that I’d started crying. I wasn’t a big crier. When we won awards I usually kept it together better than anyone, but when something touched me deeply, when something really reached into me and tapped my heart, all those tears I would store up came rushing out. Eeteuk had my heart in the palm of his hand.
I wanted to tell him, wanted to say that I loved him and that I was sorry I’d been so blind, so ignorant, so stupid. Looking up into his eyes I had planned on saying all those things but when I saw the tears in his own eyes, the soft smile on his lips, it suddenly seemed like I didn’t need to say anything. I kissed him, deeply and with everything I had, arms wrapping around him tightly, clinging to the beautiful man above me with all the strength I could muster. It was now glaringly apparent that I would have fallen into ruin had this man not secretly held my hand through everything, every last struggle and hardship, every success and victory. I kissed his neck desperately, silently confessing everything with each press of my lips to his soft skin. The tears continued to fall and so did his, I felt them hit my face and I couldn’t help but laugh and smile. I really thought he understood perfectly, that I didn’t need to say anything. I looked up into his eyes and his face was twisted with happy tears, a watery smile unwavering as he softly chuckled along with me.
Suddenly I needed to say it. Had to say I loved him. I opened my mouth but he covered it with his own, kissing me softly, sweetly, taking my breath away. He pulled back slowly, kissing each of my cheeks before he did so, then my nose and finally my forehead. He gave me a look that told me he knew and saying it wasn’t important anymore, at least not at that moment. I’d have to start saying it to make up for not saying so many times when I should have after all.
He pulled me to him and moved us back to the pile of pillows at the head of my bed so we could get comfortable. I curled up against him, resting my head in the crook of his neck and shoulder, his arm wrapped around me. All was silent save for my iPod which I could hear again in the calm that had settled over us both. So I played innocently and I grinned, wrapping my arms around the angel next to me, holding him close just in case he flew away while I slept. My eye lids were heavy and my body was tired. He rubbed my arm gently, soothing me into sleep. As much as I wanted to stay awake, feel him holding me, I couldn’t fight off sleep any longer. I didn’t worry about him leaving, I knew he wouldn’t. Since the first day we’d met he’d never left me when I needed him and now more than ever I needed him and his heart that he had been holding out to me this whole time. I slept peacefully knowing that as long as he held my heart I would proudly hold his.
I could not stop laughing. My band mates had brought my roommates back from their Elle photo shoot and the very instant that their hair came into my view I knew I was going to be completely gone for a good half hour. Tears welled up in my eyes as I flailed on the sofa, destined to roll off and onto the floor, laughing harder as the minutes passed. My newly quaffed band mates grumbled irritably at my outburst but I didn’t care, I just laughed harder as I saw Shin Dong collapse along with me, tears also in his eyes. We have superb senses of humor.
Having been so distracted by the horribly bad hair before me, I hadn’t noticed my hyung’s absence, the only member of Super Junior with seniority over me. I vaguely heard the front door open and close yet again and when I looked up I was greeted with the sight of a smiling Eeteuk. The very instant the older man came into view my laughter stopped. I could feel shock warping my features and my jaw dropping to what seemed like the floor. Vaguely I could hear Kibum taunting me about the flies that were currently setting up camp in my mouth (disgusting brat Kibum) but I had no time to think of such things when such a…delicious opportunity had presented itself. Two very important thoughts occurred to me almost simultaneously. Not only had I seen Eeteuk as more than just my hyung for the first time in my life, but I had started plotting. That wasn’t safe, at least not for Eeteuk, but I’d make it up to him in the long run.
My mouth slid shut and a horribly rotten grin tugged at the corner of my soft lips, my eyes narrowing in a predatory fashion as I honed in on what I wanted. No one really noticed this change, everyone was just happy that I had gone quiet (What if I had died?! No respect from these children, honestly!). When Kibum had mentioned me Eeteuk had glanced over to see what exactly was going on. Very quickly he was on the receiving end of my gaze and very aware of this fact, our eyes locked. I knew that he wasn’t going to look away, I knew I had him. This look was fool proof and always had been it actually worked best on fools but Teukie was no fool. I slowly stood and he watched me carefully as I got up. To me he was the only person left in that room, the only person I cared to entertain with my attention that is.
The game needed to continue so I ever so carefully sent a sensual wink my hyung’s way before coyly turning away from him and leaving the room in hopes that he’d follow. I don’t know why I was worried, they always followed when I swung my hips the way I was in that moment. As I made my way to my room I thought back, thinking hard about my interaction with Eeteuk these past couple years. He always stayed very busy being the leader hyung that he was to all the band as well as the eldest member. I started to get closer to him after Super Junior T was formed, we were around each other more. I could remember him always making me laugh and smile, playful fights that we both knew weren’t real. No matter when or why I decided to start an argument or a fight to relieve boredom, Eeteuk always saw through me. He’d smile in that all knowing (Annoying…) way and shake his head at me like I was a small child who amused him. Of all the band members he set me on edge the most, but he also drove me craziest. The way he got to me was different than the annoyances everyone else threw my way. His weren’t dismissive or cruel, they weren’t because he was tired or sick of hearing me talk. It always felt like he was a step ahead of me, like he had me all figured out and this thought suddenly terrified me. Had he planned all this? Knew I would want him the second he walked through the door? Was I being PLAYED!? His features flashed into mind and suddenly I couldn’t seem to care. If he really had planned all this then good for him, he was about to be rewarded for such brilliance and cunning. I wasn’t an easy guy to figure out after all.
I slipped into my room quietly and pushed my door to behind me, not shutting or locking it, just closing it enough so that barging in without knocking could still be considered rude. Flopping down on my soft cotton sheets I sighed. I was suddenly very tired of this game I had started but I was determined to finish it. Whining softly I rolled over on the bed as though it were a painful chore and fumbled with my iPod until it turned on, setting it in it’s little charger slash speaker dock so that I could lay back and enjoy my music while I waited for round two.
The player was quiet for a while before it brought up a song, it had been put on shuffle by myself the night before when I had been in a fickle mood, not quiet knowing what I wanted to listen to so deciding to listen to everything instead. I nearly laughed aloud as Midnight Fantasy started playing, a smirk and a snigger leaving me as I rolled over onto my back yet again in time to hear a soft knock, the door cracking open to reveal my hyung, also smirking much like myself. Something that was instantly and impossibly sexy, so sexy in fact that I couldn’t bring myself to scold him for entering my room and shutting the door behind him like he just had. Did I hear a lock click or was I just out of it on account of that smirk that had yet to falter?
I pried my eyes up and away from the alluring sight only to become lost in his intense gaze as I sat up and looked his way. When did he learn that trick!? My breath hitched a bit as I tried to stay calm, in control of my game that I started but I seemed destined to fail. Every step he took towards me proved itself to be my undoing. Without even thinking about it I scooted back on my bed, stopping myself the instant I realized what I was doing. My face must have been amusing because he chuckled, and I tried to hide the shiver at the sound which I couldn’t for the life of me hold back. No one got to me like this! Not a soul living or dead (Except maybe hide-hyung…oh yeah that wonderful man would own me so hard…(cough) anyway). But then hadn’t I said Eeteuk had always been different? I nearly jumped when he started talking, having been lost in my thoughts and the absolutely delicious sight of him in the dim lighting of my room still dressed sharply from the photo shoot at Elle.
“What an interesting song to be listening to Heenim. May I ask why you picked it?” He was being so cocky, his voice dripped with confidence and I was more than ready to knock him down a peg.
I snorted and shrugged, composure having returned to me as I clung to it and sobbed for it to never leave again, “I’m not the one to ask Teukie-hyung, my iPod is. It’s on random so it decides things for me.”
He didn’t falter, his sweet little smile of a smirk never wavering as he replied smoothly, “I didn’t know you let anyone decide things for you Heenim. Is today special?”
I was seething in under .05 seconds. How DARE he say such things to me!? The audacity of some people! I was ready and more than willing to fire back and hand him his ass (No I wasn’t. I had no IDEA what to say to that) when I felt his finger on my lips. His hands were cold and my anger instantly dissolved into nerves as my heart began to race as though his soft touch had been a slap across the face.
His voice was soft as he spoke to me, “Heenim, would you mind if I made some decisions for you today? I think you’d enjoy my ideas.” He smiled as sweet as sugar and I refused to believe that I had actually just swooned like some ill-mannered and tawdry fan girl…but I knew I had and that was dangerous, this time for me, not him.
His hand slid slowly up my cheek, it was just as cold as his finger had been and I shivered, tongue darting out over the lips he’d only just left behind. I remembered vaguely that he’d asked me a question but what he’d asked was fading away from me as I watched him draw closer through my lashes as my eye lids drooped ever so slightly at the pleasure of his touch. I should have been alert and ready to play hard ball, I should have made him work harder. I should not have nodded slowly and dumbly in response to the question I couldn’t remember but what I should and should not have done became irrelevant the very instant his lips sealed to mine.
Didn’t hyung like girls? Or at the very least Kang In? Wasn’t he too pretty to be this dominant, this confident? As his hand slid up into my hair to pull me closer and our tongues met (His tongue, unlike his hand, was scalding hot) I found myself powerless to stop the soft groan that bubbled up from my groin (Let’s be honest with ourselves, that is where it REALLY comes from). I could smell his cologne, it’s all I could smell and it made me think for a brief instant that he had somehow transported us to his room. What was happening? All of this was far too intense. Sure I had sex with men and women alike but never men in my band or women I worked with (Fine, don‘t believe me but it‘s the truth!), it was in poor taste and made for a hostile environment. Sure I liked arguments but not that kind. Even knowing that glaring truth I couldn’t push Teukie away, only pull him closer, my hands coming up to clutch his shirt firmly and tug us both down onto the bed.
He slid onto the bed with a fluidity that I couldn’t help but envy. I slowly laid back as he gracefully placed himself over me the kiss never breaking, our tongues still making each other‘s acquaintance. A new feeling invaded my senses as he tugged softly at my hair and deepened the kiss, pulling my soul out via my mouth along with all my good sense and (what was left of my) moral fiber, his free hand peaking up and under my shirt. It wasn’t cold and I vaguely wondered why but then his tongue flicked in a particularly mind numbing way and I moaned softly and forgot about body temperatures aside from my own which was steadily climbing as the seconds ticked by. I felt his fingertips on one of my nipples and gasped softly, a sound that was devoured by his never ceasing mouth along with all my moans that followed as he began to gently toy with the bud and my cheeks flushed with heat and color.
I felt my cock throb and realized yet again I was making this all too easy for him and if there’s one thing that can motivate higher brain functioning in myself it’s the salvaging of my pride. It was time to fight back. I made sure to let him stay in control of this kiss so he wouldn’t get suspicious, stealthily moving my arms and cracking open an eye to make sure he was distracted. My own moans which I still hadn’t figured out how to stop proved useful as my hyung seemed blissful and content to listen as long as he could, his eyes shut and mouth and hands busy. I quickly let my eye dart down to his chest before sliding it shut again, my hands finding their way, undetected, to Teukie’s chest. Waiting a moment before pouncing, both my hands splayed out on his chest and toyed with his nipples a bit roughly through the cotton fabric of his T-Shirt.
The long groan which fell into my mouth from his own was one of the single most satisfying things I had accomplished all year. I felt him shiver and I could’ve giggled joyfully. Then the tables shifted instantly. He tugged harshly at my hair causing me to gasp in shock and pain. His fingers pinched my nipple none too gently and I hissed in a confusing mix of pleasure and pain, a ragged breath leaving me as he broke the kiss in favor of sucking on my bottom lip. I was afraid he was going to bite me but he didn’t, choosing instead to let his hand trail out of my hair and down to my chest to meet his other hand. I took this moment to open my eyes and glance down, heart hammering in my chest.
Teukie had always been the sweet loving one hadn’t he? This behavior from him was frightening but at the same time ridiculously arousing. I tried to think back as both his hands toyed, my own having long since dropped down to grip my sheets tightly. Teukie was a man just like any of us, a very pretty one but so was I and I didn’t think it made me any less of a man. The most important question was if I trusted him with something this…intimate. Some people surprised you in the bedroom as their bedroom manner wasn’t always what their usual manner was. Could Teukie be one of these people? My eyes finally came into focus and I quickly realized why Teukie-hyung’s other hand had been warm. As we had been kissing and he’d been toying with my body he’d been touching himself. Alright so Teukie was defiantly one of those people (and fucking packing!). I decided that if the man hadn’t killed me the past few years out of pure annoyance and rage then I could trust him with this.
My eyes widened a bit and I groaned softly finally throwing caution to the wind and deciding that I’d liked what I’d seen and Teukie could slap me around as much as he liked as long as the end result was that…talent inside of me. I put my trust in him completely. Tilting my head up I resealed our lips and kissed the man above me with the passion I’d been holding back. I felt his cock bump my leg and was reassured that I wasn’t the only one who wanted this so badly. Whether or not this meant anything, whether or not he really cared about me, those things didn’t matter in this moment. All that mattered was that for now he was kissing me, bringing me pleasure and happiness, and that had to mean something in the long run (…right?).
His hands slid down and away from my abused nipples to caress my stomach and my sides as I returned the favor in my own way, sliding my hands under his jacket then his shirt to get at the hot soft skin that waited beneath, finger tips running gently over his ‘wings’ to grip at his shoulders as his hand began to rub at my erection through my pajama pants. A shuddering breath pushed past my lips and I shivered, bucking up to grind into that hand that controlled me completely in that moment.
Everything blurred quickly. My shirt flew across the room, his jacket and shirt tumbled to lay in a crumpled heap on the floor next to my bed. Meetings like this one always seemed to happen so suddenly, subconscious urges suddenly taking over all conscious thought as long ignored desires were finally satisfied. As we tore the clothing off one another, my pants being shimmed off and his kicked away along with his boxers to some unknown corner of my room (I hadn’t been wearing any underwear that night), we’d occasionally stop. The moment seemed to slow and we’d meet again, hands roaming frantically and lips and tongue and teeth clashing and devouring one another hungrily as we growled and groaned and gripped. I’d scratch him and he’d bite me, we’d hiss and moan and return to tossing clothing around the room.
Once we were both naked I just knew it would become awkward but it didn’t. He couldn’t take his eyes away from me and I couldn’t stop blushing (…what the fuck!? When did I start BLUSHING!??!). I wasn’t about to look away either, my hands took every chance they could to touch him. I’d caress his ‘wings’ and suck on his neck as we ground our bare erections together and cried at out the feeling, my voice muffled against his skin while his cries filled my ears with the sweetest of sounds. I curled around him and hung on tight, I didn’t want to ever let this man go, this beautiful, brilliant, and sexually boisterous man.
I had always thought that I didn’t know Eeteuk very well. I thought there other members of Super Junior that I was closer to and knew better, but now in this moment memories flooded back of when we’d talked about family and relationships. I recalled having spent one night crying on his shoulder after getting a particularly nasty bit of hate mail and seeing that my website’s hits had gone down that week as well. It slowly became clear to me that he’d always been right there in the shadows, waiting in the wings to catch me when no one else did. I had been too wrapped up in my own life, my own problems and how much I needed them to be everyone else’s problems, to notice that one person had been listening and honestly, truly caring about them and about me the whole time. I hadn’t needed anyone else.
A single slick finger slid into me and brought me back to the moment, realizing that I had tears in my eyes from my realization which trailed slowly down my cheeks when I blinked. Instantly he was there, his finger working at stretching me as his lips kissed away my tears. I wanted to cry harder but I didn’t, my arms wrapping around his neck as he kissed me so painfully sweetly while adding a second finger causing me to hiss then groan, rocking back on that heavenly intrusion and telling myself to think about the future after the present stopped being so damn wonderful.
When the fingers were removed I felt like he was punishing me and I whimpered softly as if to ask what I had done. He chuckled deeply and I shivered at the sensual sound, arms staying locked around his shoulders and neck to make sure he stayed close. He leaned in and kissed me, a more than sufficient apology for removing his fingers, little did I know he did so as a distraction. I felt something soft and large press up against my entrance and my heart began to jackhammer as I did my best to fight off any nerves so as not to tense up and make it worse for myself. His tongue slid slowly into my mouth as his hips thrust forward carefully, one fluid and painful motion that situated his generous length inside of me. I cried out in a mix of pleasure and pain, a noise which he broke the kiss for. I assume he wanted to hear me because as my cry dissolved into a whimper I could feel his cock throbbing inside of me with renewed vigor, a feeling that I absolutely adored.
A pleased sigh fluttered past my lips and I cracked suddenly heavy eye lids open to glance up at the man who was now and forever my lover. He was smiling softly (possibly lovingly?) but then the smile turned to a grin and he leaned in sucking at my neck until it hurt as he slowly built up a rhythm. I was completely overwhelmed by the dual sensations and was helpless to do more than cling to him and tell him through sound how greatly I was pleased. Soft sighs, long groans, sharp intakes of breath, and needy moans all meshed together as my fluid and constant responses to his actions. I could feel him smirking against my neck and it only made my cock all the harder.
His pace was maddening and I wanted more but something in me told me if I asked for more it wouldn’t turn out the way I thought it would. Teukie continued with that frustrating pace of his, sweat beading up on our skin and reminding me of the Don’t Don filming. My lover looked amazing when he was wet. I leaned up and licked at his neck groaning in pleasure at the salty sweet taste of his skin unable to hold myself back any longer. I let out a long loud moan as though it were an apology for speaking at all, panting out through gasping breaths as his thrusts occasionally hit all the right places, “M-more, f-faster, please hyung.” There I’d begged. I sure as fuck hopes he was happy.
He seemed to be happy about it, another chuckle sounding from where I assumed he was still destroying the original hue of my neck turning it all sorts of dark hickey induced colors. My hyung moved away from my neck and looked down at me, his eyes were dark with lust and I found myself happily drowning in them.
“On your hands and knees,” he ordered with a rough hiss. He was painfully hard, I knew he was all too well considering where his cock was at that moment, and I felt a little bad for stopping him but I had yet to be directly touched by those amazingly soft hands in the one place I’d have liked to be so I didn’t berate myself for too long. He slid out of me and I whimpered at the loss, moving as quickly as I could so that I could get that amazing cock back. As I shifted I noticed a bottle of lotion I kept on my dresser laying on the sheets a little ways away and was very glad that it had been there, a part of me certain that had it not been easily obtained I’d be very sore and torn.
I proudly poked my ass into the air and braced myself on hands and knees for whatever was about to happen. I felt him squeeze out more lotion directly onto my entrance and I blushed faintly and moaned wantonly, biting at my lip and writhing just a bit as he worked it all inside me with diligent fingers. He rubbed the pink pucker with slick fingers in a vulgar fashion that made my cock ache before stopping. I felt him move behind me, the mattress moving as his weight shifted, the bottle being tossed aside carelessly back onto the mattress. His hands cupped and massaged my ass slowly, one hand smearing lotion on my soft ass cheek. I could feel his hot gaze on my hole as he spread my cheeks open and it drove me mad. One of the hands left for a brief instant only to be brought back down in the form of a harsh slap to the lotion stained cheek. The hit stung and I cried out, back arching a bit as he did it again and I whimpered. Blow after blow reigned down and I felt like I would surely die of the exquisite pleasurable torture. He stopped briefly but only to switch sides. Tears welled in my eyes and my ass burned, the cheeks tinged pink then given time and abuse red. A few tears slipped out of my eyes and I knew I’d had more than enough. At this point I wasn’t above begging.
“P-please fuck me,” I whimpered desperately, praying to a god I didn’t believe in that he’d relent, “please hyung fuck me!”
Another blow then his hands stilled. I was panting raggedly at this point, my cock leaking precum which dripped onto my sheets forming a little wet spot that was only getting bigger. He massaged my hot stinging ass carefully as I hissed and shivered at the feeling then without warning his hands quickly slid up to my hips and jerked me back roughly onto his hard cock which slid in easily thanks to the lotion, filling me to what felt like bursting. A loud cry that I was sure everyone in the dorms heard bounced off the walls. Teukie laughed and I gasped for breath, the thrust having forced all the air from my lungs. Before I could even take in a full gulp of sweet air he was slamming into me with a unforgiving pace and impossibly hard thrusts. My stomach turned and my body writhed, back arcing and head jerking back as a scream of pleasure was torn from me. No sex had ever been this good.
He slammed into my prostate and I swear my heart stopped. My hands gripped tightly at the sheets at I felt helpless and useless in the face of his overwhelming passion and lust. Moan after scream after shout was milked out of me by his thrusts and I felt my body ready to explode, with a choked and hoarse tone I rasped, “P-please touch me! Teukie-hyung please!”
At first I wasn’t sure he had heard me, nothing changed about his movements and his hands were still gripping my hips tight enough to bruise, but then I felt him begin to slow then stop entirely. He managed a chuckle through his panting and slowly slid out of me. I could’ve cried at the loss. Surely there was an explanation for this so I waited and looked behind me, watching him move to sit back against the head board. I watched the way his muscles shifted under immaculate skin and my hands ached to touch him anywhere he’d let me. He scooped up the lubricant and with arms that seemed tired he fumbled the cap off and re-coated his gleaming rock hard cock. I’d never get tired of that sight.
I couldn’t help but lick my lips as I watched the show which was over all too soon. I wanted to suck that cock until it exploded but at this point hygiene demanded I waited until after (Or during) a nice hot shower. The words protection suddenly screamed loudly in my head but I ignored them. I was tested a few weeks after each of my sexploits and Eeteuk didn’t seem like the kind of guy who fucked just anyone bareback so with the reassurance of my ego that I was indeed special like I always had been I turned my gaze to Teukie’s own. His eyes bore into mine and demanded me to come to him so I grinned and crawled to him making a spectacle of myself with lude ass and hip movements. A spectacle that he seemed to enjoy immensely if his expression was a good judge.
I paused at his feet, his legs stretched out in front of him, and he told me clearly, his voice stained with lust, “Why don’t you come over here and ride me Heenim, I’d like to watch you touch yourself.”
Well I was fucked. Literally. The words went straight to my cock and all of my dignity left me that is if the heavy spanking hadn’t done that already. I quickly crawled into his lap and licking my lips slowly positioned myself above him. A dark blush, the last remains of what had been my dignity, was in place on my cheeks as I slid down onto that wonderfully hard erection the both of us moaning together as I did so. Waiting a moment to savor the feeling I felt my hyung become impatient, bucking his hips up a bit causing me to cry out in pleasure and that was all the order I needed.
With a steady slow bounce of my knees I impaled myself on his cock over and over taking extreme pleasure in the feel of him sliding into me so intimately. My mind turned into a puddle along with the rest of me, a long soft sigh fluttering past my parted lips. I prayed to that non-existent god yet again that my leg wouldn’t start acting up as this position was far from good for me for extended periods of time but I knew the both of us wouldn’t last much longer. I felt self consciousness flare up in me suddenly as I noticed my scars from my surgery. I had looked down in a moment of weakness to watch myself ride him, a sight I was sure would be sinfully beautiful (and it had been), and hoped he didn’t notice or at the very least didn’t care about the scars. After an eternity of sliding up then back down I reached out to steady myself with one hand on the head board while my other hand wrapped around my erection causing me to let out a long moan of unbridled pleasure.
I bounced rougher and jerked myself faster, whimpering and bowing my head, stomach heating and turning at the amazing feeling as my white knuckled grip on the metal barred head board kept me steady. I needed to cum right that instant before I died but the tone of all that had occurred earlier demanded one last thing of me. The blush faded from my cheeks as I completely stopped caring about anything but mine and my lover’s pleasure and I clenched myself tightly around the arousal buried deep inside of me while moaning, “Please let me cum! C-can I please cum Teukie-hyung?”
I heard him groan loudly as I continued to bounce and work my cock then a gasp of, “Yes! Cum for me,” fell from his lips and I exploded with a scream of his name. Brilliant white light burst behind my lids as I came in strong spurts in my hand and on Teukie’s stomach and chest. As I came I could hear the grunts and pants of the man beneath me as he jerked his hips up, thrusting into me a few more times before wet heat erupted inside of me. I groaned and my cock twitched spurting one last time at the amazing feeling of being claimed, being filled.
Had he said my name as he came? I knew I’d said his. My head was fuzzy and all I wanted to do was die because then I could carry this moment on with me forever. I was so tired. I just wanted to pass out, to curl up into a ball and stop having to think. His hands were on my chest, gently pushing me back onto the sheets which I knew must have been a mess much like I was in the aftermath of such amazing sex. My nose wrinkled in displeasure as I realized I was laying on the soaked in puddle of my precum that I had made earlier and I whined a bit as I stretched out only to kick the lotion causing it to roll onto the floor. I pouted and was ready to whine some more but soft lips on my own stopped me and I blushed faintly, a soft smile tugging at my lips as I wrapped my arms around Teukie’s neck, pulling him close and deepening the kiss with a soft contented sigh.
I never wanted him to leave me and the sudden realization of this hit me so hard I nearly gasped aloud. When had this happened? When had I fallen for Eeteuk so fully? Had it been the first time he smiled at me, patched up my bruised ego with kind heart felt words, came to visit me in the hospital every Tuesday and Saturday like clock work after my accident, cooked for me (it had been Ramen every time but I’d always eaten every last bite) and came to visit whenever Han Gen left for China knowing I’d be lonely without him around, stayed behind with me at dance practice time and time again until I knew what I was doing (for the most part…), smiled reassuringly at me the first day we met because I was obviously (at least to him) painfully nervous, helped me iron out my schedule so I wouldn’t end up killing myself, shit was I really this blind?! I hadn’t noticed that I’d started crying. I wasn’t a big crier. When we won awards I usually kept it together better than anyone, but when something touched me deeply, when something really reached into me and tapped my heart, all those tears I would store up came rushing out. Eeteuk had my heart in the palm of his hand.
I wanted to tell him, wanted to say that I loved him and that I was sorry I’d been so blind, so ignorant, so stupid. Looking up into his eyes I had planned on saying all those things but when I saw the tears in his own eyes, the soft smile on his lips, it suddenly seemed like I didn’t need to say anything. I kissed him, deeply and with everything I had, arms wrapping around him tightly, clinging to the beautiful man above me with all the strength I could muster. It was now glaringly apparent that I would have fallen into ruin had this man not secretly held my hand through everything, every last struggle and hardship, every success and victory. I kissed his neck desperately, silently confessing everything with each press of my lips to his soft skin. The tears continued to fall and so did his, I felt them hit my face and I couldn’t help but laugh and smile. I really thought he understood perfectly, that I didn’t need to say anything. I looked up into his eyes and his face was twisted with happy tears, a watery smile unwavering as he softly chuckled along with me.
Suddenly I needed to say it. Had to say I loved him. I opened my mouth but he covered it with his own, kissing me softly, sweetly, taking my breath away. He pulled back slowly, kissing each of my cheeks before he did so, then my nose and finally my forehead. He gave me a look that told me he knew and saying it wasn’t important anymore, at least not at that moment. I’d have to start saying it to make up for not saying so many times when I should have after all.
He pulled me to him and moved us back to the pile of pillows at the head of my bed so we could get comfortable. I curled up against him, resting my head in the crook of his neck and shoulder, his arm wrapped around me. All was silent save for my iPod which I could hear again in the calm that had settled over us both. So I played innocently and I grinned, wrapping my arms around the angel next to me, holding him close just in case he flew away while I slept. My eye lids were heavy and my body was tired. He rubbed my arm gently, soothing me into sleep. As much as I wanted to stay awake, feel him holding me, I couldn’t fight off sleep any longer. I didn’t worry about him leaving, I knew he wouldn’t. Since the first day we’d met he’d never left me when I needed him and now more than ever I needed him and his heart that he had been holding out to me this whole time. I slept peacefully knowing that as long as he held my heart I would proudly hold his.