(no subject)
It just got cold.
My interview is in 40 minutes. Trying not to think about it too much. The ocean is so beautiful here, so calm in the coves, all the bull kelp standing at attention behind the wash rocks, all invitation and Hellos. Makes me want to go diving all of the time.
So stressed lately. Trying to focus on the positives, and accomplish what I can. One more day of my Lifeguarding class tomorrow, then hopefully I can start working. Once I can work I feel I can do a lot. I walked down to the meadow behind Franks house for the first time last night, and it was beautiful enough to steal your breath away. The golden grass is shoulder high, and we went down there right at sunset so it was all lit up brilliantly. Had fried asparagus with dinner, one of my favorites. Got a PO Box today, felt extremely official. Now I need a place to live, a paycheck, room to work on my art and money money money to pay all the bills bills bills. I miss Johanna. I miss all my girlfriends who have scattered themselves all over the world. Mostly I want to be able to just relax without fear and doubt hanging on me like a thick mantle. The good news is I love it here. Its going to work out somehow. If you want something bad enough, it will work out, you just cant guess how.
My interview is in 40 minutes. Trying not to think about it too much. The ocean is so beautiful here, so calm in the coves, all the bull kelp standing at attention behind the wash rocks, all invitation and Hellos. Makes me want to go diving all of the time.
So stressed lately. Trying to focus on the positives, and accomplish what I can. One more day of my Lifeguarding class tomorrow, then hopefully I can start working. Once I can work I feel I can do a lot. I walked down to the meadow behind Franks house for the first time last night, and it was beautiful enough to steal your breath away. The golden grass is shoulder high, and we went down there right at sunset so it was all lit up brilliantly. Had fried asparagus with dinner, one of my favorites. Got a PO Box today, felt extremely official. Now I need a place to live, a paycheck, room to work on my art and money money money to pay all the bills bills bills. I miss Johanna. I miss all my girlfriends who have scattered themselves all over the world. Mostly I want to be able to just relax without fear and doubt hanging on me like a thick mantle. The good news is I love it here. Its going to work out somehow. If you want something bad enough, it will work out, you just cant guess how.