I love fall... among other random facts
I love this time of year because... I don't know but I just do. random fact!
I am finding myself becoming much more introspective and a "loner" if you will. Much more "careful" with my choice of words. I seem to be surrounding myself with people that need help or are hurt and though my world seems to be crashing down around me, I feel a strange introverted calm as well as extreme empathy and a longing to see these people restored. I hear myself praying that "if there is any of You in what I say, please let it stick and let my words fall away". I'm sitting here at Parkland in a balck button up shirt and a "emo" black/gray striped shirt generally found on kids that are depressed and hate their lives... and even though I look the part, there is nothing in me that really hates my life. I am content with my stage in life and where I am going in most areas, some not. I am reading the Bible and seeing passages jump out at me and hit me in the face because of how I am living, not in utter disreguard for God's law, just as an imperfect being striving for a Christ-like nature. I see verses that I think "I could use this against somebody" and then it hits me that i do it as well so I guess I need to "remove the boulder from my own eye before I remove the speck from someone else's". I want less to be famous and the center of attention but more the backround and let God take the center of attention. I feel torn because I want to be able to have fun with kids and be totally crazy but at the same time I am seeing what the adult thing to do is. Though this is a difficult position, I am feel as if I am finding a balance to my life. I suppose this is what they call maturing. Now do not construe this as "I am mature and I am content with where I am", quite the contrary. I have so far to go but I take solice in that fact that i won't have to do it alone because God will be there with me, helping me along in one way or another, whether it be speaking through his word or speaking through people in my life. More on this and corresponding passages for my stage in life...
I am finding myself becoming much more introspective and a "loner" if you will. Much more "careful" with my choice of words. I seem to be surrounding myself with people that need help or are hurt and though my world seems to be crashing down around me, I feel a strange introverted calm as well as extreme empathy and a longing to see these people restored. I hear myself praying that "if there is any of You in what I say, please let it stick and let my words fall away". I'm sitting here at Parkland in a balck button up shirt and a "emo" black/gray striped shirt generally found on kids that are depressed and hate their lives... and even though I look the part, there is nothing in me that really hates my life. I am content with my stage in life and where I am going in most areas, some not. I am reading the Bible and seeing passages jump out at me and hit me in the face because of how I am living, not in utter disreguard for God's law, just as an imperfect being striving for a Christ-like nature. I see verses that I think "I could use this against somebody" and then it hits me that i do it as well so I guess I need to "remove the boulder from my own eye before I remove the speck from someone else's". I want less to be famous and the center of attention but more the backround and let God take the center of attention. I feel torn because I want to be able to have fun with kids and be totally crazy but at the same time I am seeing what the adult thing to do is. Though this is a difficult position, I am feel as if I am finding a balance to my life. I suppose this is what they call maturing. Now do not construe this as "I am mature and I am content with where I am", quite the contrary. I have so far to go but I take solice in that fact that i won't have to do it alone because God will be there with me, helping me along in one way or another, whether it be speaking through his word or speaking through people in my life. More on this and corresponding passages for my stage in life...