(no subject)
I was pacing the room back and forth then hugging my knees on the floor clutching my chest soon after and breathing, heavy breaths deep breaths and nothing felt better. The rain came at a good time to drown out any noise I was making and this cold seeping into my bones, I felt nothing but terrible pain and it was panic a really bad panic and I couldn't stop, couldn't stop myself and nothing can take this loneliness away no one can, I've no one left nothing to hope for no luck on my side 2011 is not my year I knew it from the start, all the signs were there it's everyone else's year and I just know it you don't have to be psychic to know these things you just Know. Everything around me is uncomfortable, I looked at my reflection today and I didn't know my face and I think I finally see how I'm shrinking, slowly disappearing and soon if I have just that little bit of luck I will be nobody. That is the only comfort I get, that one day soon I will never wake up and everything will be perfect. Seeing this here, now I feel better. Let the universe pick up on this and give me what I want.