Machine Rythm Hearts
Sometimes you gotta back track in your life and face the consequences. This is what I did this week. So my birthday was on Wednesday. mind you, I hate my birthday. I didn't get anything so I was fine with that. Derek and I went to Native Foods and he bought me dinner along with Nice Mike buying me a piece of raw cake and complaining how much it was, but he quickly took back the complaints saying "happy birthday man."
Went to work that day and the rest of the week (go figure) ended up back tracking (which if anyone of you has spoken to me recently you know how I over think things and have been thinking about this shit too much) I won't go into detail on here. Anyhow, its made me crawl out of my skin the last few days.
Friday night didn't do anything special. Just kinda hung out and went to bed semi early.
Saturday, woke up at 6am and just looked at myself in the mirror and saw myself melting in my mind. I was crawling out of my skin again. I needed to leave. I went directly to belmont shores and skated the ledges until I slammed real hard and knocked the wind out of myself a couple time and made my wrist throb. Came home and it was only 9:30 so I gathered up all my laundry and went down to the laundromat and did it all in one go. I realized I haven't done laundry in a month. So it was nice to have a basket full of clean clothes when I came back home.
When I got home Ryan was trying to get me to go on a bike ride with him to Bionic records. I wasn't feelin it so I didn't go. He was pretty bummed out about that. But whatever, I didn't want to go. Mike ended up coming over and just walks in as I was boiling up black beans and corn together for something later on. Probably to place on some brown rice or something. I'll figure it out. Anyhow, Mike comes over to get the BBQ from outside on the balcony and asks me if I want to go to a metal fest in LA. I go since I had nothing else to do and Embrace the End was playing. We got up there right as Embrace the End got done playing so we said fuck going inside on accounts there weren't people there anyhow. We went ot the top of the parking garage we were parked in and just had a vegan bbq instead. Fuckin' fun, just gangster rap and bbqing on top of a building in nitty gritty downtown LA.
Went home for a bit and ended up going to Dead Prez last night. It was a good time. Even though we stood for 7 hours for them to show up. It was fucking ridiculous. The show started at 7 and we were inside on our feet until Dead Prez got on at 1 in the fucking morning. It was still worth it though. Didn't get to sleep until like 3:30. But I'm fine today.
So far this Sunday I've called my mother and wished her a happy mother's day and I've gone off and skated for 3 hours. Its been fun except getting chased out of Belmont by the cops.
Went to Cherry park and skated flat ground for like another hour or so. Then came home.
Its been ok, I just needed to be out of the house to kill my thoughts and anxieties.
I'll get through it. Its just a matter of time, filling the void in my emotions is key
666
Went to work that day and the rest of the week (go figure) ended up back tracking (which if anyone of you has spoken to me recently you know how I over think things and have been thinking about this shit too much) I won't go into detail on here. Anyhow, its made me crawl out of my skin the last few days.
Friday night didn't do anything special. Just kinda hung out and went to bed semi early.
Saturday, woke up at 6am and just looked at myself in the mirror and saw myself melting in my mind. I was crawling out of my skin again. I needed to leave. I went directly to belmont shores and skated the ledges until I slammed real hard and knocked the wind out of myself a couple time and made my wrist throb. Came home and it was only 9:30 so I gathered up all my laundry and went down to the laundromat and did it all in one go. I realized I haven't done laundry in a month. So it was nice to have a basket full of clean clothes when I came back home.
When I got home Ryan was trying to get me to go on a bike ride with him to Bionic records. I wasn't feelin it so I didn't go. He was pretty bummed out about that. But whatever, I didn't want to go. Mike ended up coming over and just walks in as I was boiling up black beans and corn together for something later on. Probably to place on some brown rice or something. I'll figure it out. Anyhow, Mike comes over to get the BBQ from outside on the balcony and asks me if I want to go to a metal fest in LA. I go since I had nothing else to do and Embrace the End was playing. We got up there right as Embrace the End got done playing so we said fuck going inside on accounts there weren't people there anyhow. We went ot the top of the parking garage we were parked in and just had a vegan bbq instead. Fuckin' fun, just gangster rap and bbqing on top of a building in nitty gritty downtown LA.
Went home for a bit and ended up going to Dead Prez last night. It was a good time. Even though we stood for 7 hours for them to show up. It was fucking ridiculous. The show started at 7 and we were inside on our feet until Dead Prez got on at 1 in the fucking morning. It was still worth it though. Didn't get to sleep until like 3:30. But I'm fine today.
So far this Sunday I've called my mother and wished her a happy mother's day and I've gone off and skated for 3 hours. Its been fun except getting chased out of Belmont by the cops.
Went to Cherry park and skated flat ground for like another hour or so. Then came home.
Its been ok, I just needed to be out of the house to kill my thoughts and anxieties.
I'll get through it. Its just a matter of time, filling the void in my emotions is key
666