Hiking 101
Dear Mr. Date,
After our relatively low-key outing, I feel compelled to inform you as to the dos and don'ts of hiking:
1 -- Paved or graveled roads are NOT hiking. Ever. Not if you're serious about hiking. True hiking involves boots that actually get dirty, leg muscles that actually get a real workout, and nature beyond "these damn bugs."
2 -- Getting "a bit warmed up" is NOT hiking. Real hiking involves working up a good, solid sweat to reach a secluded, peaceful spot for rumination, hanging out, and good times. If you're not in need of a hot shower at the end of a hike, then you didn't hike.
3 -- True hiking has one goal: get away from people and urban/suburban activity. It doesn't matter how close you are to a river ... if you're looking at a parking lot and housing development right next to this river, then you're not hiking.
4 -- When you invite someone over for a hike (even if it's not a real hike) AND that person drives 45 minutes to meet you for said hike, your modus operandi is to offer cold refreshments afterward. Anything less than that, and you automatically get shuffled onto The Black List of poser hikers to avoid at all costs. Sorry. That's how it goes.
Have a nice life in your armchair,
Me
After our relatively low-key outing, I feel compelled to inform you as to the dos and don'ts of hiking:
1 -- Paved or graveled roads are NOT hiking. Ever. Not if you're serious about hiking. True hiking involves boots that actually get dirty, leg muscles that actually get a real workout, and nature beyond "these damn bugs."
2 -- Getting "a bit warmed up" is NOT hiking. Real hiking involves working up a good, solid sweat to reach a secluded, peaceful spot for rumination, hanging out, and good times. If you're not in need of a hot shower at the end of a hike, then you didn't hike.
3 -- True hiking has one goal: get away from people and urban/suburban activity. It doesn't matter how close you are to a river ... if you're looking at a parking lot and housing development right next to this river, then you're not hiking.
4 -- When you invite someone over for a hike (even if it's not a real hike) AND that person drives 45 minutes to meet you for said hike, your modus operandi is to offer cold refreshments afterward. Anything less than that, and you automatically get shuffled onto The Black List of poser hikers to avoid at all costs. Sorry. That's how it goes.
Have a nice life in your armchair,
Me