Jul 30, 2006 23:05
After all of that, they still manage to discuss life, babies, Gakuto, the universe and everything. And be awfully sappy about it too.
Oishi kissed Kikumaru's lips softly and moved to turn the hot water further to the right. He reached for his bathsponge and body wash and began to wash Kikumaru's chest and belly. The body wash he used smelled like sandalwood.
He didn't say anything as he worked, cleaning Kikumaru carefully - he was still too shaken by what had occurred between them and what they'd said to one another. He felt as though his heart would burst.
Kikumaru closed his eyes as he was cleaned, humming softly in the back of his throat. This was pretty much as close to heaven as he could envisage.
Something pretty monumental had happened between them in the shower... the air was thick with feeling. It was a little claustrophobic, or maybe that was the way his heart felt, squeezing in on itself. He felt as though they needed to approach normality again; he suddenly realised that he was a little scared by his own depth of feeling.
He needed to break the silence or he'd be telling Oishi all number of scary, frank, open things,
unbidden from deep inside.
"Don't forget under my arms, ne?"
Smiling at Kikumaru, though his eyes were still very dark and intent, Oishi lifted Kikumaru's left arm and dragged the sponge along the the underside of his arm. If Kikumaru were ticklish, Oishi would know.
"I suppose I should get you just as clean as possible. I can't have you all dirty and sweaty tonight, can I?"
Kikumaru's body was slight, but still muscled. Oishi tried not to stare overmuch, but he doubted he was very successful.
"Oh I don't know," Kikumaru teased, "It has its appeal."
He stood, loving being touched and looked at. Oishi's appreciative gaze made him feel strong, somehow, and sensual. He wondered if his gaze had that effect on Oishi.
Oishi, who'd just shared the first of his most intense sexual experiences with him.
He put a palm on his chest, moving it down to cup his waist.
"How do you feel?"
Oishi paused in his task, sponge loose in his grip as he ran it lightly over Kikumaru's shoulder. His expression was hesitant when he met his lover's gaze.
He seemed to choose his words carefully before he spoke. "I'm not sure I can put it into words, Eiji. How I feel."
Turning to wash and rinse himself, he tipped his face up toward the spray, letting the water run over him for a moment. He lay the sponge aside and turned off the water. With his back to Kikumaru, he murmured, "Good. I feel really...good."
Kikumaru stepped forward to lay his hands on Oishi's shoulders, tucking his chin against his back.
"Hey, that's not fair," He said softly, "I didn't get to wash you."
Pressing a few light kisses to his skin, he backed off, suddenly unsure as how to read the situation. He elected to take Oishi's hand instead of the warm hug he'd wanted, and ran his thumb over his fingers.
"Are you alright?"
Hitting the button on the faucet and killing the spray of water, Oishi turned his hand in Kikumaru's grasp, palm up. When he faced Kikumaru, he beckoned him closer and wrapped him in a tight hug.
"I'm more than all right."
Kissing Kikumaru's ear, Oishi reached up to grab the towel and began to dry Kikumaru's hair. "You're cold. I need to get you warm again."
Oishi knew that he had to make things normal between them - fast. His feelings were too near the surface, still too much to deal with.
"Mmm, yes," Kikumaru reached up to help rub his hair dry, more than a little relieved. "I'll have to borrow some of your clothes to sleep in, this time. There's nothing I want more than to bum out on the couch. With a coffee," He added, smiling.
Having finished drying himself off, he passed the towel to Oishi and stepped out onto the cold tiled floor, instantly shivering.
"Look," He pointed to his arms, the hairs standing on end. "Goosebumps!"
Inside, he cringed. In his awkwardness he was back to playing the comedian.
Oishi laughed softly and towelled off quickly. He was suddenly cold as well, the air outside of the steamy shower much less comfortable than inside.
"My robe is hanging on the door, wrap up in that, Eiji."
As he wrapped the towel around his waist, stepping out of the tub to follow his lover, he snuck another appreciative glance at his cute little butt. "Those top two drawers in my bureau have all my shorts and t-shirts in them. Go ahead and get dressed."
Grabbing his comb from the sink, Oishi herded Kikumaru into the bedroom. "Oh, and socks. You'll need some socks."
Kikumaru padded his way off the tiles and onto the carpet, quickly wrapping himself in the robe. It was very soft, smelt considerably of Oishi and Kikumaru felt as if he had his warm arms around him again.
Opening the drawers, he helped himself to some brown socks, a faded white t-shirt and some navy blue shorts. He figured he could go and put his underpants on later.
Kikumaru hoped to catch a glimpse of something unusual or hidden in Oishi's drawer... as it was, his fingers only closed over a comic book laid down on the bottom.
Closing the drawer, he turned to smile at Oishi, preparing to dress himself and examining as much of the room as he could.
"Are you hungry?"
Oishi slipped his shorts on beneath his towel in some misguided sense of modesty. Kikumaru looked so cute in his clothing and he tried to ignore how much he liked the domesticity of their current situation.
Slipping a t-shirt on, Oishi hung up his towel and smiled at Kikumaru. "Yes, actually. Why don't I make some coffee and omelettes while you get comfy on the sofa? We'll sit up and watch t.v. until we collapse."
Trying to be modest was a gigantic failure; in the end, Kikumaru had simply cast off the robe and dressed as though he was at the public baths.
"That sounds wonderful."
They made their way out of the bedroom, Kikumaru still trying to see as much of the place as he could. He turned to the sofa as Oishi made his
way to the kitchen and seated himself on it, using the pretty cloth thrown over it to wrap around himself.
He called out to Oishi, admiring the walls of the lounge. "Tell me about your paintings, Oishi!"
Fumbling around in the kitchen, starting the coffee before getting started on the omelets. Peeking around the corner, he flashed Kikumaru a little smile - he looked so cute curled up on the sofa like that.
"Oh, there's not much to tell, really. I wish I could impress you with my extensive art snobbery, but honestly...I just like to collect beautiful things. When something speaks to me, I don't want to let it go."
"Interesting!" Kikumaru exclaimed, beaming back.
"I know the feeling, it comes with being interested in the past. But I didn't bank on you being more of a hoarder than me!"
Continuing to smile, Kikumaru resumed his examination of the lounge (it was a lot easier to concentrate when Oishi wasn't there). It was full of the prettiest, quirkiest things (rather like Oishi himself) and Kikumaru felt as though he'd like to discover the story behind each and every one.
Oishi laughed, shaking his head as he whipped up a few eggs in a big bowl. The Arabic coffee and spicy omelettes should be enough to make Kikumaru full and lazy all the rest of the night.
"I can be a terrible pack-rat, I'll warn you now. That should explain the state of my office, really."
As he poured the eggs into the skillet, Oishi called out, "Do you mind sausage in your omelettes, Eiji?"
"Of course not!"
Any anxiety Kikumaru had been feeling was being washed away with the sense of a return to normality.
"I love your office," He said, flexing his feet against the soft fabric of the couch. "Is it organised chaos or truly just a gigantic mess?"
He felt something poking into his big toe, and fished into the crack between cushions to pull out a little pewter turtle.
"And the turtles, Oishi. You'll have to explain them too."
Smiling as he worked, Oishi thought about how much smaller and homey his apartment seemed just because Kikumaru was in it.
"Hm, Eiji. You want to know all my secrets, don't you?"
Oishi couldn't admonish himself for being dorky and cheesy as he didn't recognize those particular quirks in other people, much less himself. "Are you some kind of spy, or something?"
"Of course not!" Kikumaru exclaimed, his voice carrying through clearly to the kitchen. "I think I'd be the most obvious spy in the force. You on the other hand, you're the one being mysterious!"
He turned the little turtle over in his hands, admiring the patterns engraved on its shell.
"I won't rest until I know everything!" He called out, in a mock-movie-villain voice and an accent that might have been Spanish.
Busy loading a tray full of all the things they would need for dinner, Oishi shook his head, just smiling and listening to Kikumaru. He was so incredibly entertaining and just...fun.
"Mysterious, hm? That's something I've never been called before."
He flipped the omelettes, taking out a couple of plates. "I suppose I've been warned, though. I'll have to give up all my secrets eventually."
Kikumaru gently placed the turtle on the coffee table in front of him, wondering if Oishi was protecting something close to the bone or if it was nothing but teasing.
"You're very mysterious," He proclaimed. "Shall I tell you something in exchange for a secret?"
He settled himself back against the couch, delighting in the smells that were coming from the kitchen.
"I was bitten by a turtle once, and it actually infected my whole finger. Who knew the little blighters could be so poisonous!"
Oishi didn't answer right away, as he quickly pouring coffee and then balancing the tray he'd arranged for the both of them.
When he appeared in the doorway again, laden down with food and drink and little accoutrements, Oishi smiled broadly at Kikumaru. "They're not as harmless as they appear, I know. I've been bitten more than once."
He set the tray down on the coffee table and bent to kiss Kikumaru's hand. "I'm sorry you were hurt, though. Turtles aren't cuddly pets, but they can be fascinating. Oh! That reminds me!"
Hurrying toward the opposite wall, Oishi flipped a couple of switches and the enormous fish tank that lined that wall was suddenly illuminated with soft blue light. "There are a couple of turtles in here, too. They're lazy little buggers, though, and seem to sleep a lot."
Kikumaru jumped. He hadn't noticed *that* before. How could he have not noticed!?
"Oh my goodness," He exclaimed, leaning forward to take in every inch of the beautiful tank.
"You have your own chunk of the sea?!"
Unable to resist clambering off the couch to take a closer look, he peeked back at Oishi to flash him a brilliant grin.
"They're beautiful," He said, admiring the fins and tails of a trio of fish gliding past as he searched for a turtle. "How long have you had them?"
"For as long as I've lived here, really. I've always kept an aquarium but it wasn't until I moved into this place that I could really have the kind I wanted."
He smiled a little, thrilled that Kikumaru seemed to find it so interesting. Oishi didn't know many people who appreciated the same things that he appreciated.
"I really love the sea and since I can't spend as much time there as I'd like, this is the next best thing."
Tentatively, he rubbed Kikumaru's back while the other man peeked into the aquarium.
Kikumaru instantly snapped back his head to smile at Oishi, the second he felt his touch.
"It sure is beautiful," He remarked, adding rather softly and sappily, "Like it's owner."
Taking his time to examine the tank thoroughly, Kikumaru eventually made his way back to the couch and to the food, apparently caught between examining it further and devoting his attention to Oishi.
"How long have you lived here?" He asked, volunteering some information about himself so as not to make him truly seem like a spy (or stalker).
"I've only had my apartment for about four years, since I started as History co-ordinator. It's nice and cheap."
Still unable to take a compliment gracefully - though he was truly working on learning how - Oishi sat down beside Kikumaru, still blushing a little.
He began arranging a plate for Kikumaru and, when he picked up a fork, handed them both off to his guest and smiled. "I've been here for almost six years. I've been working full time since my second year in college and - when I was able - I moved out of my parents' home."
He poured Kikumaru's tea, even adding a bit of honey, and set it down on the table within easy reach. "I like your apartment," he admitted. "It's homey and feels like you."
Flashing a little grin, Kikumaru cut himself a piece of omelette.
"Yours is calm and pleasant and very mysterious," He teased, popping it into his mouth. "And it smells right. Mm, this is delicious!"
Apparently Oishi was gifted in the kitchen, as well. He shivered a little as a drop of water left over from the shower trickled down his neck.
He wanted to tell Oishi how touched he was by the little details he always noticed, like the honey, but didn't quite know how. He tucked into the omelette.
Oishi was silent while they ate, the nearly-silent whirr of the aquarium's pump the only background noise. The lights were low to make the most of the colorful array of fish and plants inside the aquarium. Every so often, Oishi would glance at Kikumaru and experience that familiar little thrill he got when he was able to watch the other man undetected.
"Would you like to go out later?"
Taking a long sip of coffee, Kikumaru sat back against the couch.
"Yeah?" He said, then laughed. "I mean, I'm just as happy lounging at home, and I am a little tired... did you have anywhere in mind?"
He examined Oishi closely, not quite knowing how to tell him that his idea of a perfect evening was sitting close on the sofa with Oishi telling him the story behind each and every turtle that he could see on display around the apartment.
Oishi took a last bite of omelette, leaving almost half on his plate, and picked up his cup as he leaned one shoulder against the couch to be close to Kikumaru. "Oh, no. I'm happy to stay at home, really."
He smiled, shrugged a little. "I just want to show you a good time, that's all."
Kikumaru was beautiful in the low light - his hair was still damp and the t-shirt he wore bared his collarbone. He made Oishi feel good.
Kikumaru was caught, wanting to do everything at once. He figured the best way to work himself out of his dilemma was to explain it to Oishi; there was no point in being anything but honest.
"Now you've got me," He said, cradling his coffee cup in his hands and shifting over a little. "I'd love to be shown the Oishi brand good time. I'm also having a pretty good time as it is, though. What do you think?
Are you tired?"
Kikumaru was tired, very much so, particularly in light of having more (very emotional) sex in the past few days than he'd had in months. He was also weighing the problem of Gakuto in his mind... he felt as though he had a responsibility to return and look after him, yet he wanted nothing more than to stay over at Oishi's; he was angling for an invite.
He also figured that they had hours of time to spend together ahead of them. He told himself he shouldn't try to pack them all into one day.
Suddenly feeling buried under the weight of Kikumaru's expectations, Oishi tried to appear casual and nonchalant, even though he knew he was going to begin perspiring soon. What did Oishi know about showing anyone a good time? His idea of a good time was reading all night and having a really good cup of tea before bed. What had possessed him to say such a thing?
"Um...well. Of course I'd be happy to take you out - anywhere you'd like to go, in fact - but I'm content just being with you." Thinking quickly, he beamed a bright smile at Kikumaru. "I could walk you home later and we could stop by the bakery on the way. Pick up some fresh bread or a nice dessert?"
Oishi hadn't mentioned Gakuto, as he didn't want to remind Kikumaru that he had obligations elsewhere.
Kikumaru was silent as he leant forward to place his coffee back onto the table, then he shuffled to Oishi's side, not too close for fear of crowding him, and threaded an arm through his.
"That sounds nice," He said, "But can we just stay here until I have to go? It's really nice, and I'm really happy, and..."
He blurted it out before he could really think about it. "All I really want to do is just learn about you and your turtles."
Oishi moved long enough to set his own cup down and then he was at Kikumaru's side, snuggling close and letting him cling however he liked.
Lifting Kikumaru's hand, Oishi turned it palm up to press a little kiss in the center and then he folded his fingers again, smiling bashfully. "Very well, then. You can stay as long as you like, Eiji. I hope you know that you're always welcome."
Oishi didn't say that he got lonely without Kikumaru very quickly these days. It would have seemed very forward and pushy, he thought.
Really, though, he was stalling. He was afraid that Kikumaru would laugh at his turtle story.
"Thankyou. I'm glad."
Kikumaru let out a happy little contented sigh when his palm was kissed.
"You're very romantic, Oishi," He found himself saying, cuddling happily. "I've never known anyone as... well, gracious as you."
Figuring that comparing Oishi to the handsome princes of fairy tales would be more than a bit childish and over the top, Kikumaru thought of a way to tell Oishi just how honored he always was by his careful attentions.
"You know how to make someone feel special."
Lowering his gaze until he could meet Kikumaru's gaze without blushing too much, Oishi smiled a little and held onto Kikumaru's hand.
"You are special, Eiji." He said, simply. "More than you know, I think."
He was silent for a moment, content to sit with Kikumaru and trace his fingers and hold his hand. "Okay. You want to know about the turtles." Mock-glaring at Kikumaru, he shook his finger at him in warning. "You'll have to promise not to laugh."
"I promise," Kikumaru replied, trying not to do what Oishi had forbidden him. His cheeks hurt with how much he was smiling.
Everywhere Oishi held his hands felt tingling and warm, like they were bonding through their touch. He was feeling extraordinarily loving towards him, a warm, heart-bursting feeling that he'd later find himself thinking over.
It was a feeling he'd had before, but never for so prolonged a time; normally it would flare like a match and then burn itself out. Having it burn for so long was intense and tiring, yet still rather amazing.
Kikumaru was smiling broadly at Oishi - it was obvious that he was going to be unable to hide his amusement - and Oishi couldn't do anything but smile in return.
"Okay. When I was about eight years old, I found a baby turtle near the water at my grandfather's house. My grandmother found an old box for me to keep it in and for two weeks I kept him. I fed him vegetables and held him and planned to keep him forever."
He smiled, thinking back to that summer and what a goofy kid he'd been. "One day after breakfast, I ran outside - thinking that I'd be spending all day playing in the water with my turtle - he was a really good swimmer - and when I got there, the box was turned over, empty. I searched for him all over, but I couldn't find him." He glanced up at Kikumaru and laughed softly. "I cried all night."
That next day, my Mom bought me a little wooden turtle at an outdoor market. I've been collecting them ever since."
Oishi shrugged, blushing a little. "They're not as good as the real thing, but I get to keep these forever, you know?"
Kikumaru was silent for a little while, wearing the strange crease between his eyebrows as per when he felt two particularly strong emotions at once.
His grip on Oishi's hands tightened a fraction.
"How could I laugh at that, Oishi," He said, "That's the most beautiful and sad story I've ever heard."
He was imagining Oishi as a kid, gentle and curious as he was now, and the loss of something as small and insignificant as a turtle was making him feel terribly sad. He knew that it wasn't small and insignificant,
though, not to the boy Oishi, which was why the story had touched him so much.
"They live a long time, don't they, turtles? He might still be living out there, somewhere.."
Oishi lowered his eyes, twining his fingers through Kikumaru's as he leaned his head against the sofa.
"I never told anyone but, when I visit my grandmother now, I always find a reason to take a walk out to the water. It would really be great if I saw him one day."
Oishi blushed again. "See? I'm not so mysterious."
Kikumaru smiled, all traces of his earlier consternation gone, settling his head on Oishi's shoulder.
"Maybe not mysterious," He said, "But certainly in possession of a great deal of wonderful stories."
Twisting back, he flashed a little grin at Oishi.
"And I intend to discover as many of them as I can. That'd make a great little book, you know, with illustrations. Not that you have to go and put something personal out there for the world to see, but it'd be a really lovely story."
Resting his head against Kikumaru's was only natural for Oishi and he sighed in contentment, feeling that soft, red hair tickle his cheek.
"Hm," he mused, stroking Kikumaru's thumb with his own. "Maybe I'll do that someday. Maybe you'll help."
He smiled, so easily picturing Kikumaru in his life years and years from now. "By the time you learn everything you want to know about me, we'll have our own library of stories." He rubbed his cheek against Kikumaru's hair. "And then, of course, we'll have your stories to think of. Tell me something about you, Eiji. Some little thing that no one else knows."
Kikumaru chuckled, coming out of the reverie induced by Oishi's description of the future to realize that "I have a replica of a 14th century Spanish army uniform in my closet" didn't really endear himself to anyone.
"Let me think," he said, rifling through his memories.
"Well, it doesn't make such a good story, but... when I was twelve, I really wanted a baby. Don't ask me why or even how, but all I remember is this sort of thirst to look after a baby and make it grow. Sea monkeys weren't enough... so I made myself a flour baby like my sisters had made in school. I kept it in the bottom of my bag, all carefully and secret-like, so nobody would know. Sometimes I'd even sneak back into the locker room at lunch to 'feed' it. Unfortunately, I got home one day having shoved everything into my bag to get home early... and all that was left was a giant white powdery mess."
Kikumaru laughed.
>
"I got in so much trouble. I never told them what it was, though, I just said we'd had cooking and I was bringing the family home some supplies. They never did find the two little eyes left over, right down the bottom...
"It was called Bob. I didn't cry over him, though, probably because he'd revealed himself to be just flour, not a baby. Kids are weird like that."
Riveted by Kikumaru's storytelling, eyes wide as he listened intently, Oishi didn't laugh when Kikumaru was finished. He was too busy reconciling the kid Kikumaru had been to the man he was now. He could imagine such a scenario taking place so very easily that it made him smile.
"Oh, Eiji. I don't know whether to laugh or feel sad for you."
After a moment, he laughed softly and hugged Kikumaru against him. "Maybe we'll get a dog someday. Bob is a good dog's name."
He hesitated, thinking about Kikumaru's story. "Do you still want children? I mean, someday?"
Kikumaru laughed before he answered the last question.
"What if Bob eats the turtles?"
He didn't question the supposition that they'd be together in the future long enough to buy a dog together. It felt right, and he wasn't surprised that he wanted it.
"Children... they were never something I assumed I could have, if you get me. It kind of comes with the territory. And I have more than enough 'children' at school. I've heard it said that imparting wisdom is a more successful way to spread your influence in the world than to spread your genes."
But as he said it, half-jokingly, Kikumaru knew with a pang of sadness that a child of his own was something he'd truly always wanted. It didn't even have to be his, but to have a little person that he could love and help to grow...
"Someday," He said wistfully. "I don't really know how, but it'd be nice."
Oishi kissed Kikumaru's head, rubbing his cheek against soft hair like he always seemed to do when Kikumaru leaned his head on Oishi's shoulder.
"I always pictured myself settled, later in life, with all the things my parents wished for me. A nice house, a career that makes me happy, a family."
He was silent for a moment. "I never had any problem imagining what my children might look like, but I could never quite imagine a wife. There was always just this empty space where a woman should be."
He laughed, though he didn't find any of it funny. "I suppose you can't have the children without the wife, though."
Shrugging a little, he hugged Kikumaru against him. "That's all right, though. There are things in life that are just as important."
"I wish you could, though," Kikumaru said softly, tilting his head so that Oishi's lips were nearer his ear.
"Have children no matter who you were with. I investigated adoption once, but you kind of need a partner for that too. And a different country. You're right, though, there are other things that are just as important, yet still... not quite the same."
He tilted his face, brushed his lips against Oishi's jaw before settling on his shoulder once again.
"I think the students'll have to do us for now. And Bob," He added jokingly. "But in the future... who knows. I'll steal one."
He waggled his eyebrows at Oishi.
Oishi laughed quietly - Kikumaru said the silliest, most endearing things. He slid back a little on the sofa, cradling Kikumaru against him.
"Who knows what the future will bring, hm? Between the dogs and the turtles and Gakkun," he chuckled, imagining Gakuto's expression if he'd been privy to this conversation, "I think we'll be busy for awhile."
Kikumaru laughed a little at lumping Gakuto in with the pets.
"Mm, I think we will."
He closed his eyes, then, settling against Oishi and exhaling long and slow, feeling incredibly tired. He also felt rather loved, and he felt as though the feeling of contentedness was enough to sustain him for a long while.
Arms wrapped tight around Kikumaru, Oishi was content to sit quietly with him and, after a short time, he ducked his head to kiss and nuzzle at his neck.
He didn't speak, merely shifted a bit, tilting Kikumaru's head and laying soft, slow kisses along his neck toward his collarbone.
Every so often, he would sigh and rub his cheek against Kikumaru's. Nothing felt better than this.
Feeling full and content, Kikumaru was more than happy to open himself up to Oishi, to enjoy the sensation of his lips on his skin.
Too tired so as to be properly aroused, he simply lay back and deepened his breathing, just wanting to feel close. Occasionally he'd return a kiss, running lazy fingers up and down Oishi's arm.
Kikumaru's responses made Oishi smile - he was so perfect and so absolutely what Oishi wanted that he wanted to squeeze him until he squeaked.
Kissing the tip of Kikumaru's nose, Oishi whispered, "Stay the night
with me, Eiji?"
Unable to keep from smiling widely, Kikumaru felt as though his insides were being filled with warm honey, or some equally sickening metaphor that did little to describe how delighted he was.
"I'd love to," He whispered in return, tilting his head to press a soft, warm kiss to Oishi's lips. "I was kind of really hoping you'd say that."
He circled his arms around Oishi in a close, clinging hug, burrowing his nose in the curve of his neck, only wanting to move when it was bedtime.
Sliding even further down onto the sofa, Oishi snuggled Kikumaru against him and sighed happily. It occurred to him, and not for the first time, that this was the happiest he'd ever been in his life.
This is how he wanted to end every day from here on out. That they had the next day off from work was a plus - they could sleep in and snuggle without worrying about what Gakuto may or may not hear. Thinking about Gakuto reminded Oishi that Kikumaru would probably need to call him.
"Do you need to call Gakkun? Perhaps we can pick him up tomorrow around noon and have a picnic together. Would that be okay - do you mind?"
Kikumaru sat up a little, chuckling.
"Do *I* mind, Oishi? I should be asking that of you! I should have said this before, but I really want to thank you for being so tolerant of him... the things he does sometimes..."
Before the conversation could take a not-so-pleasant turn, he snuggled back down again.
"I'll call him in a moment.. he'd love to come out on a picnic, that's the best idea I've heard in a while."
He giggled.
"We could make cupcakes."
Oishi laughed. "Cupcakes? You and me?" He liked the idea, already imagining Kikumaru licking icing from his fingertips and sharing chocolate kisses. He'd make each of them a cupcake with their names on it.
"Eiji...can we talk about Gakuto for a moment? We haven't discussed the situation and...I think we should."
Kikumaru sat up again, so as to look into Oishi's eyes, concernedly.
"Sure..." He replied. "I thought it went really well, how we all got on before... is he making you uncomfortable?"
If Oishi wanted him to, he wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to kick Gakuto out. He'd do it, he told himself, but he'd feel awful about it. If Oishi really loved him (there was that word again, unbidden) then
surely he'd be able to at least tolerate him there, but reversely, Kikumaru didn't want Gakuto threatening their relationship.
He'd definitely do it.
Seeing the concern in Kikumaru's eyes, Oishi shook his head, caressing Kikumaru's cheek with the backs of his fingers. "No, Eiji, it's not that at all. I just...I always notice how careful you are around him, like you're protecting my delicate sensibilities or something."
He smiled, ruffling Kikumaru's bangs affectionately. "Not that I don't love that you make the effort - because I do - but it's not necessary. I realize that I've never put you at your ease regarding the situation and I should have.
"Gakuto worships you - I'm not sure you realize just how much - and I can't tell you how much I admire you for taking him on. He needs someone like you in his life, I think."
"Oh," Kikumaru's brow creased in consternation, feeling a little taken aback.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realise I was doing that," he said. "I guess I just didn't want you to be upset by him or want to leave because he was there... I know he's not to everyone's tastes. I like him though, a
lot. I have no idea why."
At first, Kikumaru felt as if he'd been told off. Now he realised that he was incredibly lucky to have a partner that would allow him to be himself. Warts and all (if Gakuto could be considered a wart.), no matter what. It made him feel rather emotional.
"I didn't know he worshipped me," He said softly. "We always had a relationship of mutual abuse, which was a lot of fun. I mean, sure, I was probably a bit jealous of him, and he of me, but..."
He sighed a little.
"Like I said, I do really like him. And thankyou-" Kikumaru suddenly held Oishi's gaze. "Not many people would do what you do, Oishi."
Taking Kikumaru's hand in his own, Oishi stared down at their linked fingers. He liked looking at them quite a bit. When he lifted his eyes to Kikumaru's again, he was all seriousness.
"I do it because...well, because I care for you, Eiji. I don't think there's anything I wouldn't do to make you happy." Blushing a little, he went on, "Because you make me so happy. I like Gakkun, too. It's like he needs us, somehow."
"And I don't mention any of this to make you feel bad or anything. You're not making me uncomfortable; I just want you to know that if I take exception to something Gakuto says or does, you can rest assured that I will let him know."
He smiled, a rare, rakish little smirk. "I can protect you, too, you know."
Kikumaru laughed at that, despite the little thrill that the promise of being protected gave him.
He rubbed his fingers against Oishi's.
"You make me happy too," He said. "More than I can say." He mused on this for a few seconds.
"I think we make Gakuto stupidly happy too, actually. Maybe it's because he's so different from us, in a way."
He sniggered.
"So I can rely on you to protect my honour?"
"Kikumaru Eiji, I'll protect your honor as though it were my own,"
Oishi vowed solemnly, laying one hand over his heart before leaning to nip at Kikumaru's jaw.
Oishi had not stopped to consider the extent or the reason behind Gakuto's happiness. Obviously, there was a deep sense of kinship between them, though Oishi had never expected it. Sometimes he wondered if Gakuto were in love with Kikumaru and he would worry over the disillusionment that would be Gakuto's when Kikumaru chose Oishi.
Because Oishi did not intend to lose Kikumaru to anyone - regardless
of the situation.
"I'm lucky to have found you, Eiji. Maybe our relationship has been the example that Gakkun needed. I don't think he's ever believed in love before."
"No, I don't think he has," Kikumaru said, his gaze quickly snapping to meet Oishi's, trying to establish the implications of his statement. It made his heart perform a funny kind of lurchy jump.
"In fact, the first day he came over, he sounded so different... it was like he'd realised it was something he'd missed out on all along and really wanted. And when he saw what we had..."
He looked at Oishi, again. "I think we're just lucky to have found eachother."
Pulling Kikumaru against him, Oishi wrapped his arms tight around him
and hugged him for long, silent moments.
Finally, he sighed. "Finding you and realizing that I could get this wrapped up in another person was a surprise to me. I think you're right, Eiji. We're just lucky."