'Forgiving Yesterday' returns from hiatus?
Today I had a very interesting talk with a friend of mine."You can write what you want. You can even include this in that story, I don't care," he told me on the phone. Well, it wasn't exactly the approval I was waiting for, but I definitely have my hopes up now.
It all started a few years ago, before I moved to France and all of 'this' happened. We were very good friends, despite the fact that he was much older and always had to work. You can say that he lived in a movie, or a fairytale, since every moment of his life seemed to be so damn interesting that he even suggested once to write a book about it. I, of course, took him seriously and came up with the idea of 'Forgiving Yesterday', a story about his life but viewed from someone else's point of view.
He was laughing his Italian arse off when he first read bits and pieces of the plot, and when I finally got him to take me seriously, we began arguing about the ending. "Rare are those who remember the first page of a book, but even rarer are those who forget the ending," or something like that, I don't remember really. He's quite a wise man, but showing it never did become a habit of his. Silly boy.
Well, back to the topic at hand, he didn't want a happy ending to the story. It's not like the one I came up with was the typical 'They lived happily ever after' ending, but it had an optimistic aura to it. "My story, I'll end it how I choose," I offered. "My life, I get to choose how it ends," was what he answered. Now that I think about it, we never did come to an agreement. Oh well, lucky me then.
That was then. But not too long ago his life took an odd turn and in short, he was a mess. He still is, but he's been worse. That day he asked me to stop writing the story, even if it was only for my own pleasure, and I couldn't refuse. I still tried secretly continuing it on paper, but the sentences just won't appear. I remember writing many words, but they had very little to nothing in common. So I've decided to officially put 'Forgiving Yesterday' on hold, letting down few of my most loyal readers that seemed to be enjoying the story immensely. I'm saying 'on hold', but I was pretty sure that I won't get a chance to continue writing it, not with how my friend's situation was deteriorating. No one can imagine what I was feeling when he told me that "you can write what you want" line today. If his tone wasn't as hollow and devoid of any emotion, even the bad ones, as it was, perhaps I would have actually laughed with happiness.
So the point of this post is the huge dilemma I'm facing - should I try continuing the story, or maybe I got it all wrong? I know it's awful of me to think about some silly story when my friend is obviously not well, but I also know that he's miles and oceans away, and that there is not much I can do anymore. And besides, if he wholeheartedly agrees on the continuation of the story, it will mean that he's better, much better, and that he'll only keep getting better and healing faster. But it could also be the complete opposite, that he said that because he was finally defeated, after all he's been through since his very young age, he probably doesn't give a damn about anything anymore.
It's sad, isn't it? knowing that a close to you person is in pain, whether it is physical or emotional, and you're too far away to do anything aside from shushing and trying to calm them down over the phone. It's sad and hard, but for some reason we don't just break down in tears and die or something. We go on with our life, and pray that theirs will not end too early either.
It all started a few years ago, before I moved to France and all of 'this' happened. We were very good friends, despite the fact that he was much older and always had to work. You can say that he lived in a movie, or a fairytale, since every moment of his life seemed to be so damn interesting that he even suggested once to write a book about it. I, of course, took him seriously and came up with the idea of 'Forgiving Yesterday', a story about his life but viewed from someone else's point of view.
He was laughing his Italian arse off when he first read bits and pieces of the plot, and when I finally got him to take me seriously, we began arguing about the ending. "Rare are those who remember the first page of a book, but even rarer are those who forget the ending," or something like that, I don't remember really. He's quite a wise man, but showing it never did become a habit of his. Silly boy.
Well, back to the topic at hand, he didn't want a happy ending to the story. It's not like the one I came up with was the typical 'They lived happily ever after' ending, but it had an optimistic aura to it. "My story, I'll end it how I choose," I offered. "My life, I get to choose how it ends," was what he answered. Now that I think about it, we never did come to an agreement. Oh well, lucky me then.
That was then. But not too long ago his life took an odd turn and in short, he was a mess. He still is, but he's been worse. That day he asked me to stop writing the story, even if it was only for my own pleasure, and I couldn't refuse. I still tried secretly continuing it on paper, but the sentences just won't appear. I remember writing many words, but they had very little to nothing in common. So I've decided to officially put 'Forgiving Yesterday' on hold, letting down few of my most loyal readers that seemed to be enjoying the story immensely. I'm saying 'on hold', but I was pretty sure that I won't get a chance to continue writing it, not with how my friend's situation was deteriorating. No one can imagine what I was feeling when he told me that "you can write what you want" line today. If his tone wasn't as hollow and devoid of any emotion, even the bad ones, as it was, perhaps I would have actually laughed with happiness.
So the point of this post is the huge dilemma I'm facing - should I try continuing the story, or maybe I got it all wrong? I know it's awful of me to think about some silly story when my friend is obviously not well, but I also know that he's miles and oceans away, and that there is not much I can do anymore. And besides, if he wholeheartedly agrees on the continuation of the story, it will mean that he's better, much better, and that he'll only keep getting better and healing faster. But it could also be the complete opposite, that he said that because he was finally defeated, after all he's been through since his very young age, he probably doesn't give a damn about anything anymore.
It's sad, isn't it? knowing that a close to you person is in pain, whether it is physical or emotional, and you're too far away to do anything aside from shushing and trying to calm them down over the phone. It's sad and hard, but for some reason we don't just break down in tears and die or something. We go on with our life, and pray that theirs will not end too early either.