Revenge of the Bay - SPOILERS
Unspoilery version:
"OMGOMGOMGOMGEEEEEEEEEE!"
"...What the frick?"
"...What just hap-? NO! No, THAT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT!"
"RUNRUNRUNRUNRUN!"
"Okay...okay...yeah, moving on now."
"Do the 'ball' jokes never end?"
"Awwwwww!"
"Get it! Kill it dead!"
"NOW KILL IT DEADER!"
"...That! That right there just made this entire thing worth it."
And now for the spoilers.
I honestly can't really form an impression based off of the first viewing. One, it was midnight and I was running on pure adrenaline. Second, everything happened way too fast to be caught in the first viewing, I think, and I'll have to see it again to maybe pick up on some of the things I missed, so my opinion is likely to change.
However, the first part of the movie was pretty awesome. Sam getting ready for college? Yes, please. Though admittedly, I was kind of waiting for Judy to take a broom to the newly sparked robots tearing apart her house, honestly. I mean, that woman was in an emotional enough state she probably could have taken on Unicron himself if he pushed the right buttons and I am a firm believer in the Do-Not-Mess-With-Judy-Witwicky's-house-if-you-want-to-live crowd. I mean, she told off government agents with a baseball bat. How's that for guts?
And Bumblee's garage. At least he got to come out an shoot stuff?
Though was I the only one who maybe found it a little uncomfortable to watch Bumblebee be treated like a dog who's done something bad? I mean, I was getting huge 'to the doghouse for you!' vibes from that. But perhaps I'm just oversensitive. I mean, it was Sam doing the talking and I don't think Bee would have honestly gone if he didn't want to. Maybe.
And...NEST. I'm not sure what to think of NEST, honestly. I mean, I love the idea of the Autobots working with the humans, but the way they were hunting down Decepticons who didn't actually appear to be doing anything? That was kind of...awesome, actually, but in a cold and kind of chilling sort of way. They don't pussy-foot around the whole Autobots vs. Decepticons here- as far as they're concerned it's a war, and they're treating it like a...war. A war that's been going on for so long that it's probably impossible to see anyone on the other side as anything other than The Enemy.
Cold, badass Optimus for the win, though. I mean. Seriously, Optimus. Harsh. And I love you for it. Even though me, being the overly emotional and empathetic person I am, kind of wanted to start crying when he shot the detained and pretty much helpless Decepticon point-blank in the face.
The whole thing would probably be even better if I didn't have the suspicion that it wasn't so much trying for a good characterization of a species that's been at war for longer than our planet's existed so much as Bay just wanting cool military badass-ery and posturing.
That realization kind of makes me die a little inside in sympathy for the Decepticon. I think his name was Demolishor but it's so hard to tell for certain in these movies. I'll stick with Mr. Scoops. Thanks DZChat
I...don't really care either way for the twins. I mean, they were there, they were sometimes funny though their brand of humor eventually got old simply because it was overdone. I loved watching Bumblee be all "Fine, you don't want to stop fighting?" *cracks heads together and tosses out of the temple*
I like to think Bumblebee was being pissy mostly because of the humans underfoot, because it makes my Bumblebee loving heart all tingly and warm inside, though Bumblebee finally losing his temper is great, too.
Jetfire! The 'old' jokes got...well, old after awhile, I have to admit, but...Hee! I love Jetfire so very much! He's hard to not like, really, and his death was probably one of the best I've seen in a Bay film. It was quick, no unneccesary lingering (even though it might have been too quick) and he got to see a Prime! That's sort of all he really wanted, I think, was to see a Prime and have the hope to see the Fallen destroyed before he died.
AND THEY HAD THE CONSTRUCTICONS! Admittedly, they had a whole bunch of Constructicons, but they also had my Constructicons and it was just awesome. I alos really, really liked the transformation into Devastator. Really. A lot. I don't know why, but the whole...violence of the transformation fit really well to me. Mixmaster he's a Decepticon mixing truck, he's Mixmaster, don't judge me was wrenched backwards my wires and such,(can anyone say whiplash? 'Cause that was fast) and another one (whoever the foot was) was stomped on, and it was generally really cool. It's a gestalt transformation I can agree with, for some reason, and I like it.
Though my favorite part of the movie was watching Ravage run. And run. And the graphics and animation and such for that were drool-worthy, I tell you. I could watch Ravage run and move all day.
One bad thing that will stick in my mind forever though and I don't think my opinion on this will change is the humor. It was funny for the first part of the movie, and then it got really, really old. There's only so many off-color jokes one can take before it goes past 'funny' and into 'boring' and even 'uncomfortable' because seriously? There should not be that many sex jokes in a robot movie. No.
And on top of that, most of the movie was spent preoccupied by the little boy sitting next to me who was extremely excited about being able to sit by himself in a movie. He was probably about six years old, I think. Maybe seven. And he was the most adorable thing ever. They gave away a limited supply of posters before the movie and he got one but...he didn't really like it. He didn't complain about it, but it was aposter for one of the chick-flicks they'd been showing in the trailers and...yeah. Seven-year-old, chick-flick poster, wrinkly-nose of doom from said seven-year-old boy...
So I got a Wolverine poster by lucky chance and 'traded' with him for the poster he got. Then I immediately pawned it off on one of my little sister's friends.
He hugged that thing the entire time he was sitting there, I swear. And wouldn't stop thanking me until I agreed to take eat one of his gummy worms.
However, the multitude of ball jokes in the movie made the arrangement sort of uncomfortable, because since I had spoken to him I was apparently a prime target for all of his questions. "Why is everyone laughing?" Should not be that complcated a question! I did, however, get much practice in the 'deflect and distract' tactic when it comes to dealing with someone else's kid and the "delicate intricacies" and "subtleness" of "adult" humor.
...Thanks, Michael Bay. Thanks. D:
But then he had to go to the bathroom and ended up kidnapped by his parents for the rest of the film since it was about one in the morning by this point and he could barely stay awake. I hunted them down after the kid went after his father so he could go to the bathroom (since he wasn't allowed to go by himself and wouldn't go with a girl) and he didn't come back for half an hour. Nice couple, really. The dad thanked me for watching out for him and I was able to return the kid's poster.
...Can you tell what made up most of my time at the theater?
But anyway. I refuse to mention the new humans or anything else until I see the movie again. I can't really make up my mind until that point.