No Friends
I used to be someone with a group of friends who I spent time with almost everyday.. But I gave up on my friends for the sake of making someone happy.. That someone is my ex girlfriend, Grace. I didn't give up on them because she told me to, but because she was uncomfortable with them.. I know that some of them weren't the nicest of people and can be mean and superficial at times, but they treated me well.. They treated me almost like family, and that I belong with them.
For the past year and a half, I've spent a lot of time with people I'v met through Grace.. People that she felt were better for me to socialize with. It was great and all, but after our relationship ended I felt like everyone I knew from her never really saw me as a friend. I was always "Grace's bf" and then "Grace's ex." I was never "Seijo, our friend." I felt like everyone I got to know in the past year would always tie me in with Grace, and never see me as an individual and a true friend, no matter how hard I tried to fit in..
I realize now that most people are naturally biased, and they will be biased for the friend that they knew first.. It's almost like an obligation I guess.. And now I know that most of the people I've gotten to know for the past year or so will be obligated to their friendship and loyalty to Grace. I will never be treated equally because in their eyes, I'm just her ex boyfriend..
And now, I am left with nothing.. I betrayed my old friends and I'm an outsider to my new ones.. I don't know who my real friends are anymore.. I feel completely alone..
For the past year and a half, I've spent a lot of time with people I'v met through Grace.. People that she felt were better for me to socialize with. It was great and all, but after our relationship ended I felt like everyone I knew from her never really saw me as a friend. I was always "Grace's bf" and then "Grace's ex." I was never "Seijo, our friend." I felt like everyone I got to know in the past year would always tie me in with Grace, and never see me as an individual and a true friend, no matter how hard I tried to fit in..
I realize now that most people are naturally biased, and they will be biased for the friend that they knew first.. It's almost like an obligation I guess.. And now I know that most of the people I've gotten to know for the past year or so will be obligated to their friendship and loyalty to Grace. I will never be treated equally because in their eyes, I'm just her ex boyfriend..
And now, I am left with nothing.. I betrayed my old friends and I'm an outsider to my new ones.. I don't know who my real friends are anymore.. I feel completely alone..