The long road back.
I have returned.
HOWEVER, I wish I really was dead, like some people believed.
Speeding tickets, popped tires, and no money are equal to hard times.
I'm going insane...I need to check out of life for awhile...
/sigh Before all the above happened though, things weren't so bad...
Saw "Kingdom of Heaven"...
Friends are home from college, which is nice...
But gah...am I lonely...
So very lonely...
My dad is an asshat too...he's on probation for drugs...and what does he do?
...drugs.
Last thing I need is for him to go to jail so I have to move back in with my mother...
...And my mom just yells at me..."Happy Mother's Day!"..."Where the hell is my present?"
...ugh...
I can't even fucking sleep...nor can I go home (I'm at Jarrod's) because of my goddamn flat tire!
I don't understand myself sometimes...
...I'm so damn fucked up it's hilarious...
...Meghan means nothing to me...but she also means everything...
...I could never tell her that...how weird would that sound?
"YOU MEAN NOTHING! AND BY NOTHING, I MEAN EVERYTHING!"
...I need a "normal" relationship...
...I'm very odd...
...I have an image of Meghan in my head which is idealistic...it's not who she really is...
...I don't know if she means everything to me, or holding on to that image does...
...fuck this...
...fuck people...
...fuck this, because it's pointless...
(And for today's musical selection, "Tell Mick That He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today.")
"Light that smoke, that one for giving up on me
And one just cause they’ll kill you sooner than my expectations
To my favorite liar, to my favorite scar:
“I could have died with you”
I hope you choke on those words, that kiss, that bottle- I confess
Now ask yourself, yeah, out on the insides, I said I loved you but I lied
Let’s play this game called “when you catch fire”
I wouldn’t piss to put you out
Stop burning bridges and drive off of them
So I can forget about you
So bury me in memory
His smile’s your rope
So wrap it tight around your throat
On the drive home
Joke about the kid you used to see
And his jealousy
Breaking hearts has never looked so cool
As when you wrap your car around a tree
Your makeup looks so great next to his teeth
Let’s play this game called “when you catch fire”
I wouldn’t piss to put you out
Stop burning bridges and drive off of them
So I can forget about you
So bury me in memory
His smile’s your rope
So wrap it tight around your throat
So bury me in memory around your throat"
Go FallOutBoy...for the win.
Long entry...you rock if you read it...you rock even more if you post a comment...
HOWEVER, I wish I really was dead, like some people believed.
Speeding tickets, popped tires, and no money are equal to hard times.
I'm going insane...I need to check out of life for awhile...
/sigh Before all the above happened though, things weren't so bad...
Saw "Kingdom of Heaven"...
Friends are home from college, which is nice...
But gah...am I lonely...
So very lonely...
My dad is an asshat too...he's on probation for drugs...and what does he do?
...drugs.
Last thing I need is for him to go to jail so I have to move back in with my mother...
...And my mom just yells at me..."Happy Mother's Day!"..."Where the hell is my present?"
...ugh...
I can't even fucking sleep...nor can I go home (I'm at Jarrod's) because of my goddamn flat tire!
I don't understand myself sometimes...
...I'm so damn fucked up it's hilarious...
...Meghan means nothing to me...but she also means everything...
...I could never tell her that...how weird would that sound?
"YOU MEAN NOTHING! AND BY NOTHING, I MEAN EVERYTHING!"
...I need a "normal" relationship...
...I'm very odd...
...I have an image of Meghan in my head which is idealistic...it's not who she really is...
...I don't know if she means everything to me, or holding on to that image does...
...fuck this...
...fuck people...
...fuck this, because it's pointless...
(And for today's musical selection, "Tell Mick That He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today.")
"Light that smoke, that one for giving up on me
And one just cause they’ll kill you sooner than my expectations
To my favorite liar, to my favorite scar:
“I could have died with you”
I hope you choke on those words, that kiss, that bottle- I confess
Now ask yourself, yeah, out on the insides, I said I loved you but I lied
Let’s play this game called “when you catch fire”
I wouldn’t piss to put you out
Stop burning bridges and drive off of them
So I can forget about you
So bury me in memory
His smile’s your rope
So wrap it tight around your throat
On the drive home
Joke about the kid you used to see
And his jealousy
Breaking hearts has never looked so cool
As when you wrap your car around a tree
Your makeup looks so great next to his teeth
Let’s play this game called “when you catch fire”
I wouldn’t piss to put you out
Stop burning bridges and drive off of them
So I can forget about you
So bury me in memory
His smile’s your rope
So wrap it tight around your throat
So bury me in memory around your throat"
Go FallOutBoy...for the win.
Long entry...you rock if you read it...you rock even more if you post a comment...