I didn't know I needed to do this....
For as long as I have had this thing, I have respected you people. I have assumed you possesed intellegence greater than that of the typical garden slug, and have thus acted accordingly. However, today it was brought to my attention that, in the case of some of you, I have been horribly mistaken.
Forgive me. I was unaware that this entry was necessary. I guess it's like the directions on Pop-Tarts and Cheeze Wiz: some people really do need them. Oh, and seeing as some of you wont be able to tell from the text, I am employing a great deal of (verbal) irony here a.k.a. sarcasm. And so, I bring you:
HOW TO WIN AT POSTING ON THE INTERNET
In order to win at posting on the internet be sure to do one or more of these things:
In all biographies about yourself, be sure to include your full legal name, age, sex, phone number, address, SSN, credit card numbers, bank account information, and any other bits of information that could be used to track you down and/or steal your identity. Since the internet is a totally safe place that automatically blocks bad guys, no one will ever use this information against you.
It is completely safe to allow children to surf the internet unsupervised. You see, internets are programmed to know when children are on them, and so will block inappropriate sites of their own free will. Not that that's necessary or anything, because no one ever posts anything morally questionable on the internet. Ever.
Meeting people on the internet is exactly like meeting them in person. You see, no one is allowed to lie on the internet or provide false pictures of themselves. Actually, meeting over the internet is safer than meeting in person, which is why it is completely safe to agree to personally meet an internet buddy in a dark, unpopulated area.
Everything posted on any website is completely, 100% true. That is why it is a good idea to search "Joe Bob's Domain" for information regarding your Quantum Physics thesis paper. Your professors will most likely appreciate the fact that you went outside the realm of information provided by a reliable source. "Reliable" sources get so boring sometimes. Plus, Joe Bob's use of words and syntax that are not accepted in standard English will give your paper an edge.
And Finally....
If you post information on a public blogging site with the security option of "Public", no one will ever be able to see it. This is a good way of keeping things to yourself, because it wont appear on anyone else's journal's friend's pages and allow them to read it. It especially wont appear on the Friend's Page of the person you bugged and guilt tripped for two days straight to add you to their friends list. Anyone who ends up knowing information from these posts is definately really nosey and should respect the fact that you would like to keep your public posts private, thank you very much.
Fin.
Now allow me to disclaimer your ass, heck, I'll even put it in larger print for your convienience: Teresa is in no way responsible for the blatant idiocy of her friends, whether online or offline. Any person being an idiot retains full responsibility for his/her actions and consequences of said actions. Consequences of idiotic actions may include mockery and/or general knowlege of a person's life by Teresa and/or any related third party. Teresa is not liable in any form for any knowlege gained through someone else's idiotic action and/or the damage resulting from said knowlege or action.
On the plus side, I believe ONE of you WINS!
Forgive me. I was unaware that this entry was necessary. I guess it's like the directions on Pop-Tarts and Cheeze Wiz: some people really do need them. Oh, and seeing as some of you wont be able to tell from the text, I am employing a great deal of (verbal) irony here a.k.a. sarcasm. And so, I bring you:
HOW TO WIN AT POSTING ON THE INTERNET
In order to win at posting on the internet be sure to do one or more of these things:
In all biographies about yourself, be sure to include your full legal name, age, sex, phone number, address, SSN, credit card numbers, bank account information, and any other bits of information that could be used to track you down and/or steal your identity. Since the internet is a totally safe place that automatically blocks bad guys, no one will ever use this information against you.
It is completely safe to allow children to surf the internet unsupervised. You see, internets are programmed to know when children are on them, and so will block inappropriate sites of their own free will. Not that that's necessary or anything, because no one ever posts anything morally questionable on the internet. Ever.
Meeting people on the internet is exactly like meeting them in person. You see, no one is allowed to lie on the internet or provide false pictures of themselves. Actually, meeting over the internet is safer than meeting in person, which is why it is completely safe to agree to personally meet an internet buddy in a dark, unpopulated area.
Everything posted on any website is completely, 100% true. That is why it is a good idea to search "Joe Bob's Domain" for information regarding your Quantum Physics thesis paper. Your professors will most likely appreciate the fact that you went outside the realm of information provided by a reliable source. "Reliable" sources get so boring sometimes. Plus, Joe Bob's use of words and syntax that are not accepted in standard English will give your paper an edge.
And Finally....
If you post information on a public blogging site with the security option of "Public", no one will ever be able to see it. This is a good way of keeping things to yourself, because it wont appear on anyone else's journal's friend's pages and allow them to read it. It especially wont appear on the Friend's Page of the person you bugged and guilt tripped for two days straight to add you to their friends list. Anyone who ends up knowing information from these posts is definately really nosey and should respect the fact that you would like to keep your public posts private, thank you very much.
Fin.
Now allow me to disclaimer your ass, heck, I'll even put it in larger print for your convienience: Teresa is in no way responsible for the blatant idiocy of her friends, whether online or offline. Any person being an idiot retains full responsibility for his/her actions and consequences of said actions. Consequences of idiotic actions may include mockery and/or general knowlege of a person's life by Teresa and/or any related third party. Teresa is not liable in any form for any knowlege gained through someone else's idiotic action and/or the damage resulting from said knowlege or action.
On the plus side, I believe ONE of you WINS!