Aaaaaah yea.

Mar 12, 2005 18:54

K, so the SAT. It's long and stupid. And even longer and stupid-er when they start it one goddamn hour late. Just further proof that the SAT was made by retards.

And it's not even that big of a deal. They make it seem like your whole life is determined and is summed up in this one test. Look, in the real world, you will not be penalized because you did not come with 2 presharpened #2 pencils.

Bottom line: SAT: by losers, for losers.

First day of Spring today. In honor of such an event and the fact that it was posponed on groundhog's day, I decided to give you the history of that momentous holiday.

Groundhog's Day was created to honor a small, omnipotent, hole-dwelling rodent. Humanity, with all its fancy technology, has never been able to surpass the groundhog's immense knowledge of the seasons, and thusly, must petition the groundhog for answers.

In the beginning, humans asked groundhogs for answers to all the deep questions of life. Plato and Aristotle actually kept pet groundhogs and simply copied down all of the groundhogs' wisdom, for, though they are very wise, groundhogs lack opposable thumbs.

However, humanity was too greedy in its search for knowledge. Groundhogs everywhere couldn't get a moment's rest with all the humans plaguing them with questions. So in 1821 the great Groundhog-King Ozimandius decreed that humanity may only ask a single question a year. He went on to say that it may only be asked on February 2nd and that E=MC2.

And so, every year, mankind asks the groundhog the most important question it can think of: Is it spring yet? And every year the groundhog goes back in its hole without speaking. Humanity takes this to mean no, but in reality the groundhog cannot lower itself to dignify us with such an answer.

After all, it really is a dumb question to ask a rodent.
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