Oh, honey. No.
I had an interesting experience on the way home today. And as I promised him, I will tell everyone about it.
On the train platform there was a guy sitting next to me and reading a book. I am fresh out of work, the weather's beautiful, and I'm wearing my San Francisco dragon.. the man looks up at me, down to his book, looks up to me again, and says it's a nice shirt. Good so far. I tell him my mother got it for me when she went there for her school reunion. He's been to San Francisco. Also good, establish common ground.
And then this happened.
"I'm not racist or anything, but San Francisco's sort of a gay capital."
"...really."
"Yeah. I saw on TV that there were hot women there, but there weren't."
"Huh. I like hot women too. What with being gay and all."
The look on his face, that sort of 'oh god this is the opposite of what I wanted' look, I couldn't help myself. I broke down laughing, doubled over, barely able to breathe.
So he backpedals, has gay friends, etc. I'm cackling. He asks if he made me angry. I said he made my day. He asks me not to tell anyone about this.
"Oh, I'm telling everyone, this is going on my blog."
The train came and I expected him to just cut and run, but he decided to keep things going. I'm enjoying playing with the idiot, so I agree to let him sit by me on the way back. He only digs himself deeper from there. The man is obviously trying hard to say something I want to hear, but he says all the opposite things from that. I don't know where he learned to pick up women.
"I thought there would be hot women, but it isn't like I saw on TV."
"Most things aren't."
"I don't mind gay women. I mean, Megan Fox and Katy Perry getting it on--" "That's not gay women, that's porn."
"O_O A little quieter, the subway train's got ears."
"There's beein weirder shit on the train before."
And then, because apparently the whole gay thing didn't sink in, he asks me out for a drink. I say I don't drink. He asks me out for coffee. No.
"I feel like we were destined to meet, you know?"
"I don't believe in destiny."
"Oh, me neither!"
And I keep laughing in between the stupid shit he's saying because I can't believe any of this is happening.
We wind up needing the same stop, which is a platform with two exits. He walks towards the one I need and I walk towards the other, then double back and head for the right exist because I'm not risking this guy trailing me to my house. Because in the midst of all this fail he seems pathetic enough to do so.
I don't exactly want to see him again, but he does make for an interesting story.
On the train platform there was a guy sitting next to me and reading a book. I am fresh out of work, the weather's beautiful, and I'm wearing my San Francisco dragon.. the man looks up at me, down to his book, looks up to me again, and says it's a nice shirt. Good so far. I tell him my mother got it for me when she went there for her school reunion. He's been to San Francisco. Also good, establish common ground.
And then this happened.
"I'm not racist or anything, but San Francisco's sort of a gay capital."
"...really."
"Yeah. I saw on TV that there were hot women there, but there weren't."
"Huh. I like hot women too. What with being gay and all."
The look on his face, that sort of 'oh god this is the opposite of what I wanted' look, I couldn't help myself. I broke down laughing, doubled over, barely able to breathe.
So he backpedals, has gay friends, etc. I'm cackling. He asks if he made me angry. I said he made my day. He asks me not to tell anyone about this.
"Oh, I'm telling everyone, this is going on my blog."
The train came and I expected him to just cut and run, but he decided to keep things going. I'm enjoying playing with the idiot, so I agree to let him sit by me on the way back. He only digs himself deeper from there. The man is obviously trying hard to say something I want to hear, but he says all the opposite things from that. I don't know where he learned to pick up women.
"I thought there would be hot women, but it isn't like I saw on TV."
"Most things aren't."
"I don't mind gay women. I mean, Megan Fox and Katy Perry getting it on--" "That's not gay women, that's porn."
"O_O A little quieter, the subway train's got ears."
"There's beein weirder shit on the train before."
And then, because apparently the whole gay thing didn't sink in, he asks me out for a drink. I say I don't drink. He asks me out for coffee. No.
"I feel like we were destined to meet, you know?"
"I don't believe in destiny."
"Oh, me neither!"
And I keep laughing in between the stupid shit he's saying because I can't believe any of this is happening.
We wind up needing the same stop, which is a platform with two exits. He walks towards the one I need and I walk towards the other, then double back and head for the right exist because I'm not risking this guy trailing me to my house. Because in the midst of all this fail he seems pathetic enough to do so.
I don't exactly want to see him again, but he does make for an interesting story.