Because fanficrants gets enough review complaints as it is.
Someone sent me this review for Where Art Is Helpful. It seems to have been cut off and I'm having a little trouble deciphering what's been left behind.
I really liked this fanfic, I’m an artist myself and that’s what I’m planning on being. I took a Creative Writing class and picked up on a lot. Here’s a few things I spotted in you’re writing. Oh, here we go.
("Keeps you off the streets and so on?" A mild chuckle. "He does seem to be strange as Autobots go--and cute, too! I love his little wheels!" Blitzwing leaned forward and gently touched "Technological Misfortune" with one finger, analyzing the texture and seemingly finding the bumpiness to be very intriguing. Bulkhead tended to use thick paints rather than watercolors, and he hadn't quite figured out a way to keep it from clumping at the end of a
brushstroke.)
I spotted at least three things wrong in that whole paragraph or should I say what should’ve been two sentences. And I spot at least two things wrong with your one sentence, I think I come out ahead. First, NEVER cut off the starting point of a dialogue with a period, always use a comma. Ex (and so on?" A mild chuckle ‘.’ "He does) If you cut off the dialogue that way, you ruin the whole flow of the character speaking. The chuckle is not part of the dialogue, it's a free action before the speaking recommences. This should be obvious by the fact that it's a sentence fragment rather than a description of the talking.
Second, you’re IT'S YOUR OMG SHUT UP comma placement. Ex (finger, analyzing). Technically analyzing something with your finger isn’t all that different. Commas in that situation are only used when you have the character doing a second action different from their first. There is a very big difference between a simple and analysis, Just try rewriting that sentence without a comma, it looks ridiculous and seems to indicate that the finger itself is analyzing rather its owner.
Three, either you were half awake Entirely possible, but I usually edit when I'm more sober. or you were lazy and just clumped everything into one paragraph. Every dialogue should have their own paragraph and every person or situation that’s doing their own thing should get their own too. It was complete randomness turning the spotlight immediately over to Bulkhead from what Blitzwing was doing. ...but there's nothing but Blitzwing in that paragraph! He's doing all the talking and acting.
Also, what happened at the end?
Blitzwing's hand swept out to encompass the rest of the gallery. "Then lead on, trucemaker!"
Again you don’t know where to place your periods and comas. Everyone is fully conscious in this fic, thank you. Instead of the period have a semicolon and give the quote its own paragraph-space. That isn't how semicolons work, not at all. Not knowing how to set up a story right ruins the flow and the feeling for a reader even when they can’t pick up on it. Your fics would be stronger if you took the time to know how to properly arrange it. And your review would be stronger if you were actually reading the fic instead of trying to put it into some sort of proper paragraph generator that has as much accuracy as Babelfish's translator.
I can also see you’re a deep thinker and artist because you put so much depth into your detail. But too much detail throws the reader into complete boredom. It did me. Whaa? Lack of detail is one of my heavy weaknesses, this fic would probably benefit from far more description. I am hardly koilungfish here.
Some writers can pull it off if they make it flow at the same time but SeiberWing, I read your story.But apparently not my name. Why have you randomly capitalized me, it makes me feel dirty inside. I can’t feel any flow in it. I felt the Mary-Sue feeling
but it’s not a character; it’s a writing style of too much artsy-fartsy detail and I feel I’m getting lectured too and reading a writing-style that’s too good to be true. You’re a perfectionist and it shows when you try making your writing style look too perfect and professional that it doesn’t work. My story is so good that it becomes a Mary Sue? I have no idea what's going on in this section.
Either you work on arranging your story better, getting more to the point, and finally putting good flow into your sentences or you don’t
And it just cuts off there and I am left very confused. My fic is either written too well or not well enough, and may be jumbled or perfectionist. And she liked it but just couldn't get into it.
I really liked this fanfic, I’m an artist myself and that’s what I’m planning on being. I took a Creative Writing class and picked up on a lot. Here’s a few things I spotted in you’re writing. Oh, here we go.
("Keeps you off the streets and so on?" A mild chuckle. "He does seem to be strange as Autobots go--and cute, too! I love his little wheels!" Blitzwing leaned forward and gently touched "Technological Misfortune" with one finger, analyzing the texture and seemingly finding the bumpiness to be very intriguing. Bulkhead tended to use thick paints rather than watercolors, and he hadn't quite figured out a way to keep it from clumping at the end of a
brushstroke.)
I spotted at least three things wrong in that whole paragraph or should I say what should’ve been two sentences. And I spot at least two things wrong with your one sentence, I think I come out ahead. First, NEVER cut off the starting point of a dialogue with a period, always use a comma. Ex (and so on?" A mild chuckle ‘.’ "He does) If you cut off the dialogue that way, you ruin the whole flow of the character speaking. The chuckle is not part of the dialogue, it's a free action before the speaking recommences. This should be obvious by the fact that it's a sentence fragment rather than a description of the talking.
Second, you’re IT'S YOUR OMG SHUT UP comma placement. Ex (finger, analyzing). Technically analyzing something with your finger isn’t all that different. Commas in that situation are only used when you have the character doing a second action different from their first. There is a very big difference between a simple and analysis, Just try rewriting that sentence without a comma, it looks ridiculous and seems to indicate that the finger itself is analyzing rather its owner.
Three, either you were half awake Entirely possible, but I usually edit when I'm more sober. or you were lazy and just clumped everything into one paragraph. Every dialogue should have their own paragraph and every person or situation that’s doing their own thing should get their own too. It was complete randomness turning the spotlight immediately over to Bulkhead from what Blitzwing was doing. ...but there's nothing but Blitzwing in that paragraph! He's doing all the talking and acting.
Also, what happened at the end?
Blitzwing's hand swept out to encompass the rest of the gallery. "Then lead on, trucemaker!"
Again you don’t know where to place your periods and comas. Everyone is fully conscious in this fic, thank you. Instead of the period have a semicolon and give the quote its own paragraph-space. That isn't how semicolons work, not at all. Not knowing how to set up a story right ruins the flow and the feeling for a reader even when they can’t pick up on it. Your fics would be stronger if you took the time to know how to properly arrange it. And your review would be stronger if you were actually reading the fic instead of trying to put it into some sort of proper paragraph generator that has as much accuracy as Babelfish's translator.
I can also see you’re a deep thinker and artist because you put so much depth into your detail. But too much detail throws the reader into complete boredom. It did me. Whaa? Lack of detail is one of my heavy weaknesses, this fic would probably benefit from far more description. I am hardly koilungfish here.
Some writers can pull it off if they make it flow at the same time but SeiberWing, I read your story.But apparently not my name. Why have you randomly capitalized me, it makes me feel dirty inside. I can’t feel any flow in it. I felt the Mary-Sue feeling
but it’s not a character; it’s a writing style of too much artsy-fartsy detail and I feel I’m getting lectured too and reading a writing-style that’s too good to be true. You’re a perfectionist and it shows when you try making your writing style look too perfect and professional that it doesn’t work. My story is so good that it becomes a Mary Sue? I have no idea what's going on in this section.
Either you work on arranging your story better, getting more to the point, and finally putting good flow into your sentences or you don’t
And it just cuts off there and I am left very confused. My fic is either written too well or not well enough, and may be jumbled or perfectionist. And she liked it but just couldn't get into it.