(no subject)
I went to see Lia today. It's been so long. I stayed away because I thought I had slowly gotten over... the attachment, and I didn't want to revert back to that. But, really, I never got over the attachment... I was just able to deal with it.
At the NJ faire, the merchant next to us has a girl working for them who looks... like a young version of Lia. I stare at her anytime I see her (although I, uh, try to be inconspicuous [sp?] and not... freak her out). I can't help it though: I've missed Lia so badly. Every time I see that girl, I'm reminded of her.
I guess I decided today that I wanted to pretend she cares, even if she doesn't. I'm afraid I'm deceiving myself, because sometimes I honestly can't tell. She's known to lie, as well.
I want to be just like her. I look up to her. I love her. I don't want to lie, or be unreliable like her. I can't tell what is due to her personality (i.e. forgetfulness, a tendency to misplace things, etc), and what I should take to mean she just... doesn't care?
Sigh. I'm so confused. I've missed her.
At the NJ faire, the merchant next to us has a girl working for them who looks... like a young version of Lia. I stare at her anytime I see her (although I, uh, try to be inconspicuous [sp?] and not... freak her out). I can't help it though: I've missed Lia so badly. Every time I see that girl, I'm reminded of her.
I guess I decided today that I wanted to pretend she cares, even if she doesn't. I'm afraid I'm deceiving myself, because sometimes I honestly can't tell. She's known to lie, as well.
I want to be just like her. I look up to her. I love her. I don't want to lie, or be unreliable like her. I can't tell what is due to her personality (i.e. forgetfulness, a tendency to misplace things, etc), and what I should take to mean she just... doesn't care?
Sigh. I'm so confused. I've missed her.