from ashtray to pot

[sehbebz]

I should be asleep right now but I miss you too much to sleep. Ive never missed a person the way I miss you. Missing someone is like being still. Things seem frozen. It's hard to explain...memories cant be made when we are apart. We are forced to rely on ones already made. And so this is why all seems still. Nothing is moving forward, and nothing is moving backward. And its here in this Gray that Im going to be living for awhile. It's generally a happy little place, but its lonely when you look closely, im just trying to get use to it. Ive only been still for a couple days, but already I know this is how it will be. Beareable, without a doubt, but there is always a constant longing even doing mundane things, that I wish you were here, I wish you could see this, taste this, feel this. Because its only with you that life seems real, and new, and hopeful. I miss your smile, I miss you teasing me, I miss letting you win haha ya right, I miss holding you, I miss you holding me, I miss sleeping next to you, I miss holding your hand, I miss riding in my car with you listening to our cd's, I miss kissing you, I miss your laugh, I miss running my hands through your hair, I miss my bestfriend, I miss my boyfriend, I miss you.

I guess people say that it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all, but I disagree, When you really do find love, how can you ever lose?
Love you.