*sigh*
It's amazing how I can go from being so happy to so depressed. I was all excited about this weekend and then I started doing my homework and I got all stressed out and now I'm thinking about the things I want and how it'll be a while, if ever, til I get them and it's depressing the fuck out of me. I really wish I had some pot right now caz that makes me feel better. That's about the only thing that makes me feel better lately, and I really don't care if it's not good or healthy and I wish people would stop bothering me about it. "It's not good for your playing." "You're a music major. We don't do that shit." "You're fucked up." "You're gunna ruin your life." You know what, fuck that and fuck everyone who's told me that in the last few weeks because you know what, I don't fucking care. I'm happy when I'm high. I'm not happy right now. I feel like there is not a single person who can understand me. I feel like no one really cares to understand me. I wish there was something I could do to make me feel better right now, but I can't. I'm not tired, so I'm not about to go to sleep. I don't feel like writing caz it would suck. Nothing is helping me relax. I need a fucking hug and the one person I want it from is at work. Grr.
I can't wait until tomorrow after 3. I'm going to NY to pick up some shit and then coming back here, buying some provisions, going to bed early then waking up early Saturday morning and having an amazing day. I just wish I felt happier about it right now.
I can't wait until tomorrow after 3. I'm going to NY to pick up some shit and then coming back here, buying some provisions, going to bed early then waking up early Saturday morning and having an amazing day. I just wish I felt happier about it right now.