(no subject)
i'm barely graduated and already exhausted from the work i've chosen for my life. i love it, but i don't. i love people, but not the attitudes they cop, the "you dont understand" snares, the helpless victims who frankly want to be helpless. its too much. no i don't know and no sometimes i can't understand. but im standing here ready to give you all i got and you'd rather i left you in that half soaked cardboard box. i don't get it. i spent today at my volunteer work calling individuals that have been loaned money [for any number of reasons] to better their life. all they have to do in return is answer three questions every six months and eventually pay the money back, when they can. i made these phone calls from 9-430pm today. guess how many hung up on me, yelled at me, or had some complaint? guess how many people actually answered. three.
three all day. and i just dont get it. any of it. no, i am not in their shoes. but i am a college kid sitting in an office doing a job that i'm not getting paid for because i believe in these programs and i believe that all people deserve a real shot at life, and that all people deserve to have resources available to them. all i ask... ugh. i won't bother.
and the point of this entry you're asking?
why does it seem that the whole world is giving up? why are people rolling over, playing dead? and why am i still fighting? am i the only one who still thinks we should go to the ends of the earth for one another and never give up? what the f*ck. why is life so undervalued? we all fight every single day for it, some harder than others. everyday i feel my little heart (that could) pump pump pump and keep me alive and i am grateful. because i know people who would love to be in my place. i know people dying for another shot, a better shot at life. how could i ever be careless with mine?
there's so much gray area for so many things, but not when it comes to this. that's not how life is. either you love it and want it and will fight for it. or you won't. and there are people who really need the help and support that's out there for them... that's fighting too, fighting for strength.
i know this is all rambling, but.
i can't help it.
i'm fighting so hard in this world,
& today i just wondered, what for?
three all day. and i just dont get it. any of it. no, i am not in their shoes. but i am a college kid sitting in an office doing a job that i'm not getting paid for because i believe in these programs and i believe that all people deserve a real shot at life, and that all people deserve to have resources available to them. all i ask... ugh. i won't bother.
and the point of this entry you're asking?
why does it seem that the whole world is giving up? why are people rolling over, playing dead? and why am i still fighting? am i the only one who still thinks we should go to the ends of the earth for one another and never give up? what the f*ck. why is life so undervalued? we all fight every single day for it, some harder than others. everyday i feel my little heart (that could) pump pump pump and keep me alive and i am grateful. because i know people who would love to be in my place. i know people dying for another shot, a better shot at life. how could i ever be careless with mine?
there's so much gray area for so many things, but not when it comes to this. that's not how life is. either you love it and want it and will fight for it. or you won't. and there are people who really need the help and support that's out there for them... that's fighting too, fighting for strength.
i know this is all rambling, but.
i can't help it.
i'm fighting so hard in this world,
& today i just wondered, what for?