Unrequited: A Lost Fanmix
This Fanmix was made for lost_land and it is my musical interpretation of several relationships on 'Lost' in which one or both parties involved experiences the feeling of unrequited love.
Besides the utter awesomeness of the show as a whole, I will admit that the 'Shipping' aspect of it is one of my favorites and I have spent a LOT if time analyzing character relationships, and very rarely is a romantic relationship on this show equally balanced by both parties at the same time in my opinion. I hope that this captured those scenarios as accurately as possible, and I hope you all enjoy my tribute to a wide array of 'Ships' (illustrated by my wide array of musical tastes)...Thanks for checking it out!
01. She Will Be Loved (Maroon 5)
(Boone and Shannon)
Beauty Queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
This song describes Boone and Shannon's relationship perfectly for me. As wrong as he knew it seemed, and as messed up and manipulative as she was, Boone would do anything for Shannon. The song speaks about the trouble between understanding how and why a young woman shouldn't be a lovable person, and in spite of it all, this man loving her anyway. Boone was hurt by Shannon repeatedly, but he still continued to keep his door open to her in the hopes that one day, maybe, she would see herself as loved and be able to love him back.
(LISTEN)
02. The Remedy (Abandoned Pools)
(Ben and Juliet - Ben's POV)
Then you can be the remedy
And I can be the enemy
And he can go and live as nothing
They you can be the wanna be
And I can be the remedy
And he can go to hell for all I care
Originally, I always wanted to use this song for Jacket (Jack and Juliet), having it be from Jack's perspective of what was going on between Juliet and Ben's control over her. Then, the more I listened to it, I only heard Ben's voice, desperately begging a woman he knew could never feel for him the way he felt for her to at least try. Since Juliet's arrival on the Island, Ben's infatuation with her has been cut by her involvement with other men. First, there was Goodwin, the married Other, someone he found to be inferior to himself and not worthy of Juliet's affections. Then after he was sure he'd have her to himself after getting rid of the competition, along comes Jack Shephard, who not only seems made specifically for Juliet on paper, but can't be as easily disposed of because Ben needs him. In both cases, Ben doesn't understand why she can't just choose him, who's always right in front of her, and he would rather become her enemy and have her hate him than to let her be happy with another man.
(LISTEN)
03. Mr. Brightside (The Killers)
(Jack/Kate/Sawyer - Jack's POV)
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside
I swear, nobody on Lost has more bouts of unrequited love than Jack, especially in his quest for Kate's affections. I was going to designate this song specifically to Season 3 (and his face when he saw the cage cameras), but the truth of the matter is, Jack has always been upset by the thought of Kate choosing Sawyer over him. He loves her plain and simple, and it's frustrating (and confusing) to him how she could even consider someone else. But, like in the song, the ever stubborn Jack never lets his laments fully show, always thinking himself the better man, he won't let it stop him from his day to day life and he's confident that she won't stay with Sawyer for good. He just wishes it didn't hurt as much to see her with him until she does come back.
(LISTEN)
04. Erase Me (KiD CuDi)
(Sawyer and Kate - Sawyer's POV)
It's like I'm her new nightmare
She ain't escaping
It makes me feel a bit complete
Knowing someone you love
Don't feel the same about you
Memories they soon delete
Sawyer (specifically Seasons 3 and 4 Sawyer) was pretty much like a really tall eighth grader when it came to Kate, and since the first time I heard this song, I can't not picture him singing it with that adorable scowl on his face. Basically, Sawyer loves Kate (he even told her so!) but between her seemingly unfaltering faith in Jack, and her constant nagging, Sawyer has decided that she can't possibly love him back. And even if this is the first woman he loves unselfishly, without any alterior motives, he'll be damned if she's gonna change him. The problem is, for all her nagging, denying and jack-chasing (and the fact that the girl is allergic to saying the words 'I love you too'), Kate DOES in fact have feelings for Sawyer that she can't explain. In hind-sight he knows this, but it's easier to throw pity parties and feel sad about it than to admit (out loud) that she has changed him after all.
(LISTEN)
05. Decode (Paramore)
(Jack and Kate - Kate's POV)
The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are
If you're a man at all
Well, I will figure this one out on my own
For Kate to trust anyone is an Olympic feat for her, but she trusts Jack almost immediately, even when he makes it clear that he isn't so willing to trust her. For almost her entire adult life, Kate made an effort to make sure that she'd never become like her mother, dependent on a man that didn't respect her or see her as an equal, but as Jack's addictions become more apparent in Season 4, she realizes she may be headed down that path. She loves Jack, like she says, she was always with him (even when it raised questions from her other Island friends) but, as they settled into a smoke-and-mirrors domestic life together and it became clear that Jack still couldn't bring himself to fully except (and trust) who she really was, Kate had a choice to make. In the end, the love she had for Jack, didn't trump that of the love she had for Aaron and the need to keep him away from situations like the kind she witnessed growing up. So she let Jack go, and decided it would be better to do it alone, something her mother never did for her.
(LISTEN)
06. I Want You To Need Me (Celine Dion)
(The Quad of Doom - All POV's)
I want you to need me like the air you breathe
I want you to feel me in everything
I want you to see me in your every dream
The way that I taste you
Feel you
Breathe you
Need you
I want you to need me
Like I need you
This song was harder to pinpoint a specific person to dedicate to, because for me it represents so many characters, so I dedicated it to the 'Quadrangle of Doom' (aka the mess that is Jack/Kate/Sawyer/Juliet...I LOVE it!). At first I heard it as specifically Season 3, when Juliet pined so badly for Jack, who she knew still had deep feelings for Kate. Jack liked her, and she knew this, but she also knew that what she felt for him he couldn't feel back for her because of the other woman. Season 3 also had Sawyer wishing that Kate would look at him with the awe and wonder she gave Jack. He never experienced the need to have another human being need him back, and Kate's uncertainty about everything meant she wouldn't be able to give that to him and he didn't understand why it was so easy for him to convince every other woman in the world to fall for him and not her. As if that wasn't complicated enough, Jack was still in agony over Kate's ( end of season 3 and beginning of Season 4) ever growing concern about Sawyer's safety and whereabouts. He even did something completely out of character when he assured her that Sawyer was only lashing out at her to protect her, understanding that just knowing he was alright and not mad at her would comfort her. Even as he confessed his own love for her, he played it down with letting her know that he understands that Sawyer loves her too and that, if for only a moment, he's ok with her loving him back, even when he wishes it were himself she was so worried about. I could go into a million other examples of how un-returned love plagues these three (like Juliet's doubts over Saywer and Kate) but I'll give just one more: Kate. I never thought I'd see the day when Kate would be on the hurting end of unreciprocated love. Sure she had a quick minute when she was jealous of Jack paying attention to Juliet when he first brought her back to camp, but even in that she never truly let it effect her to the point it did in Seasons 5 and 6. With Jack, Juliet was just another companion, much like Kate, that didn't really change anything about him drastically. But with Sawyer, Kate saw a new man, one she suddenly felt she wouldn't have been able to help him become, and because of this Juliet became everything that she couldn't ever be. Surprising even herself, she found herself hurt by the fact that she was no longer good enough, even for the one who always made her feel like she was. After Juliet's death, it was worse, because where she was always able to comfort Sawyer and get through to him, he wouldn't let her try and this hurt Kate most of all.
(LISTEN)
07. Moving Mountains (Usher)
(Jack and Kate - Jack's POV)
I lost my way
She said she'd stay
But lately I've been sleeping with a ghost
My stock is down-and-out
I used to be worth my weight in gold
After Jack and Kate's relationship dissolved in SNBH, all Jack wanted since was to prove to her that he can be that better man for her. In the beginning, he's still battling with his addictions and it's very hard for her to take him seriously, but still he tries to get her to take him back. His efforts are futile however, she won't have any of it, she simply can't have him like that around her son and nothing he says or does can change that. Jack sees a change in her. She's gone from a loyal, infatuated girl with a crush, to a scorned woman with priorities more important than making him happy, and he realizes that he has to really bring his 'A-game' if he wants them to work out in the long run. Returning to the Island, Kate still has no intentions of letting herself trust in Jack the way she once did and everything he did leading up to 'The Incident' were his attempts to win that trust (and love) back.
(LISTEN)
08. Get Free (The Vines)
(Charlie and Claire - Charlie's POV)
I'm gonna get free
I'm gonna get free
I'm gonna get free
Ride into the sun
She never loved me
She never loved me
She never loved me
Why should anyone?
Charlie's main goal on the Island, almost since day one, had been to protect Claire and eventually Aaron, but when his paranoia leads Claire to banish him from her and the baby, it pushes him off the deep end. He prided himself on his sobriety, and Claire was the one that made him strive to stay that way, but with her gone and untrustworthy of him, there was nothing to stop him from cracking open one of the Virgin Mary statues and getting a temporary high to replace what Claire gave him naturally. It made him do things he'd later regret, but he didn't care. In his mind, why should he care about himself or anyone else when Claire didn't love him anymore?
(LISTEN)
09. Breakeven (The Script)
(Jack and Juliet - Jack's POV)
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks
No, it don't break even
Poor Jack had more problems than a little bit in Season 5. He was losing his mind, he had to go back to an Island he'd tried so hard to forget, Kate wasn't paying him any mind, he ended up in 1977 where his work assignment was a lowly janitor, Sawyer was in charge, and to top it all off he'd lost another love interest to that slick, dimpled, hick. WTF? He knew he promised to get her off the Island, and in some ways he really wanted to keep that promise, he'd just expected her to be waiting for him when he came back. He hadn't expected for her to have created a happy life for herself (much like he did back in Los Angeles) or for her to be upset when he came in three years too late to 'rescue' her from it. He definitely didn't expect to find her happy with Sawyer of all people (he could almost hear him saying, "another one bites the dust, Doc") or for Sawyer to be doing a much better job at making her happy than he did. Although he outwardly acted ok with her being with Sawyer, there were still underlying tones of what-if's and regret, made apparent by his purgatorial decision to give her the life he probably would have given her had they left the Island together the first go-round.
(LISTEN)
10. Jolene (Dolly Parton)
(Juliet/Sawyer/Kate- Juliet's POV)
He talks about you in his sleep
And there's nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name Jolene
And I could easily understand
How you could easily take my man
But you don't know what he means to me Jolene
The usually strong-willed and un-phased Dr. Juliet Burke knew many forms of disappointment in her life, but none hit her as hard as the possible ending of her life with James 'Sawyer' Ford just because of the arrival of Kate Austen back on the Island. Juliet was no stranger to being 'The Other Woman' but unlike with Goodwin and Jack, Sawyer's borderline unconditional love for Kate scared Juliet to no end. With Goodwin, Juliet knew that, though he was married to Harper, his heart truly belonged to her. her only fear in all of it was what Ben would do to him should he ever find out. And with Jack, she understood that Jack, no matter how much he loved her or Kate, was still the most important person on his agenda, and while it hurt that Kate meant more to him than she did, it was nothing compared to what was to come. Even before she embarked on a romantic relationship with Sawyer she saw how much Kate meant to the man who typically cared for no one but himself. She saw it when they were held prisoner on Hydra Island and she saw it again when they were left behind and time traveling, when the man had tears in his eyes at the sheer thought of the woman he loved so deeply, not seemingly gone forever. However, as the years went by and he allowed himself to move on Juliet began to feel as if she had finally found someone who could be all her own, and they built something only to be shared with themselves. Then Kate came back. And the sight of the younger, beautiful woman brought memories back to Sawyer and doubt onto Juliet. How could she compete with such a woman? How would she cope if he suddenly decided to follow the pull Kate so obviously had on him, leaving her all alone once again? She jokes with Kate about not knowing how to tell her to stay away, but it's evident in her every expression that she's seriously begging her to let them stay as happy as they were before she came trotting back in, for she can't imagine going through the pain of losing him.
(LISTEN)
11. Grenade (Bruno Mars)
(Sawyer and Kate)
If my body was on fire
You’d watch me burn down in flames
You said you loved me you're a liar
'Cause you never, ever, ever did baby...
But darling I’ll still catch a grenade for you
This is probably my favorite song of the moment, and from the first time I heard it I could only think of Sawyer and Kate. I couldn't pick which one the POV would be from because honestly it could go either way. They both have selfish and standoffish tendencies at times and better than anyone else, they can point it out in each other. There were times when Sawyer felt as though he'd put his heart out there only for Kate to deny him or ignore him altogether. On the same note, Kate would try time and again to get Sawyer to open up to her and out of habit he would shut her out with insults and hurtful comments. Love was something entirely new to both of them, and they didn't know how to act, all they knew was that they would do anything to protect the other. The problem was, with both of their trust issues, they'd often misinterpret each others motives resulting in both of them feeling unimportant to the other. The irony is that while they both spent so much time trying to convince themselves that the other didn't care, they both did more than anything. And still, like the song says, even when they swore it wouldn't be the same if the tables were turned, at some point each of them became willing to die to make sure the other lived.
(LISTEN)
BONUS TRACK: Walk Away (Christina Aguilera)
(Ensamble)
I can't mend this torn state I'm in
Getting nothing in return
What did I do to deserve
The pain of this slow burn
And everywhere I turn
I keep going right back to the one thing
That I need to walk away from
This is almost like an anthem for love gone wrong, and why it's hard to stay away from situations you know aren't good for you. Like I said in the intro, this pretty much goes for all Lost ships (give or take a few), and I'll let the song speak for itself.
(LISTEN)