Fic: Not a Psychopath!
Fandom: Sherlock (BBC)
Title: Not a Psychopath
Rating: G
Character: Sherlock
Warnings: None
Wordcount: 486
Summary: Sherlock thinks he's a sociopath, I'm not so sure.
so•ci•o•path
-noun Psychiatry. A person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behaviour is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.
~~~~~
“I’m not a psychopath Anderson; I’m a high functioning sociopath. Do your research!”
Sherlock Holmes had done his.
Freak. Psychopath. Piss off.
All things that Sherlock had heard many times in his life. He pretended that it didn’t hurt, but it did. He’d put up with it throughout his school life, never had any friends, constantly bullied for being the odd one out, the weird kid who knew too much.
When he went to college is when things changed, he learnt that if you didn’t show people that they were getting to you, they would eventually get bored and move on to something else. It became a defence mechanism, a barrier against the world.
He looked it up on the internet, sociopath. He already had some of the personality traits; others were easy enough to fake. He was antisocial, didn’t like people, the only difference being that he cared, he cared too much.
That’s how he ended up helping solve crime, he had a talent, a gift if you like, that no one else appreciated. So sometimes he felt used, but he was doing something, something worthwhile. He was helping catch murderers.
It was all really easy, to play the uncaring, antisocial sociopath, who thought of nothing and no one but himself. No one else seemed to care, so why should he. No one ever even attempted to get close to him, until John.
John was the one that finally broke him. Broke the carefully sculpted facade. Before John, no one had ever doubted that Sherlock was a sociopath, high functioning, of course. He was always the cold, detached, uncaring freak who enjoyed seeing dead people.
Of course, that wasn’t it at all. He’d just learnt through long practice, not to let his emotions get in the way. Emotions were distracting, and if he was going to catch murderers then emotions had to be put aside. They were useless, and annoying, and they hurt.
Then John came along, and he’d done everything he could to distance him, but nothing worked. John just kept coming back, and it was new and exciting, and he wasn’t sure how to deal with it. He’d never had a friend before. It was disconcerting. There was something about John that made Sherlock feel naked, vulnerable, like he could see right through into his soul, and it felt strange at first, after so long. But there time, he felt warmth, and he realised he didn’t want to lose it.
So he accepted it.
As far as anyone else knows he is and always will be Sherlock Holmes, Sociopath, but when he’s alone with John he can truly be himself, just plain Sherlock Holmes.
Title: Not a Psychopath
Rating: G
Character: Sherlock
Warnings: None
Wordcount: 486
Summary: Sherlock thinks he's a sociopath, I'm not so sure.
so•ci•o•path
-noun Psychiatry. A person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behaviour is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.
~~~~~
“I’m not a psychopath Anderson; I’m a high functioning sociopath. Do your research!”
Sherlock Holmes had done his.
Freak. Psychopath. Piss off.
All things that Sherlock had heard many times in his life. He pretended that it didn’t hurt, but it did. He’d put up with it throughout his school life, never had any friends, constantly bullied for being the odd one out, the weird kid who knew too much.
When he went to college is when things changed, he learnt that if you didn’t show people that they were getting to you, they would eventually get bored and move on to something else. It became a defence mechanism, a barrier against the world.
He looked it up on the internet, sociopath. He already had some of the personality traits; others were easy enough to fake. He was antisocial, didn’t like people, the only difference being that he cared, he cared too much.
That’s how he ended up helping solve crime, he had a talent, a gift if you like, that no one else appreciated. So sometimes he felt used, but he was doing something, something worthwhile. He was helping catch murderers.
It was all really easy, to play the uncaring, antisocial sociopath, who thought of nothing and no one but himself. No one else seemed to care, so why should he. No one ever even attempted to get close to him, until John.
John was the one that finally broke him. Broke the carefully sculpted facade. Before John, no one had ever doubted that Sherlock was a sociopath, high functioning, of course. He was always the cold, detached, uncaring freak who enjoyed seeing dead people.
Of course, that wasn’t it at all. He’d just learnt through long practice, not to let his emotions get in the way. Emotions were distracting, and if he was going to catch murderers then emotions had to be put aside. They were useless, and annoying, and they hurt.
Then John came along, and he’d done everything he could to distance him, but nothing worked. John just kept coming back, and it was new and exciting, and he wasn’t sure how to deal with it. He’d never had a friend before. It was disconcerting. There was something about John that made Sherlock feel naked, vulnerable, like he could see right through into his soul, and it felt strange at first, after so long. But there time, he felt warmth, and he realised he didn’t want to lose it.
So he accepted it.
As far as anyone else knows he is and always will be Sherlock Holmes, Sociopath, but when he’s alone with John he can truly be himself, just plain Sherlock Holmes.