Tigger & Ophelia
Yesterday, our cat, Tigger passed from this life to somewhere unknown to me. Once upon a time I would have said that animals go to heaven, the christian version of heaven, and frolic about in meadows filled with rainbows and butterflies. And occasionally, Jesus would walk over to them, touch them and play with them, I guess like a holy petting zoo. All neat and tidy, wrapped up in a box with a beautiful bow and streamers on top. Yeah. Not so much any more. Then I learned where real christians go. They go to church. So they can back stab and belittle the other christians who aren’t quite up to speed on all the details. So I moved on. And explored other options. But this is old news. The new news is what Tigger showed me yesterday in his passing.
This story begins 16 months ago when our beautiful Siamese cat, Ophelia, died. It was very sudden. In fact, she had two seizures and we were on our way to our veterinarian’s office at 2:30 on a Sunday morning in December when she died in route. I was crushed. Devastated. Inconsolable. As was Tigger. Because he loved her too. He was just an enormous, black, everyday, run of the mill, house cat. But he loved her. And she loved him. They were my daughter’s cats and I inherited them when she moved out. Then when she was ready for them, I couldn’t let go………….lol. Tigger was lost without Ophelia but we all got on with our lives and as with everything, time covers most wounds. I have found that the old saying “time heals all wounds” is no where near the truth. Covers the wounds, scabs over the wounds, hides the wounds, even buries the wounds, but heals? No, I think not for all wounds. But Tigger had kidney disease and last fall, on top of that, our vet discovered a tumor. So yesterday I was forced to make that decision once again for one of my beloved friends. He was 15, he was tired, and he needed to rest. He just had trouble doing that on his own. So I called my vet and made the choice to go and be with him.
It was hard. It always is when you do something like that. I know I was making the right choice, but still, the decision to take a life is not one to ever take lightly, no matter the circumstances. I have the most incredible vet in the world. She is so sensitive, caring, attentive. And it so happens that she shares many of my beliefs. She stood there with me until I was calm (because once there, I wasn’t) she stroked Tigger and talked to him while getting him ready. I just kept petting him. Tigger lay so quietly on the table, his head in the palm of my hand, and he purred. Tigger purred all the time. When we visited the vet for his check up’s, she would stick his foot in water to make him stop purring so she could listen to his heartbeat. But he lay there, purring away, his head in my hand while I stroked him. And then he was gone. The purr stopped. His head went limp. She checked for a heartbeat, there was none. She told me he was gone. She said he'd had a good long life. she checked the chart, said he'd of been 16 this year. she asked if I had a place picked out for him. I said yes. Right next to Ophelia. At that point Tigger’s tail puffed up like a frightened or excited cat's would do, from the base of his rump to the tip. All the hairs were standing straight out. My vet said “holy cow are you seeing this?”, and i said “yessss,” The tech said “what's making that happen?” The vet said “I don't know, in all of my years as vet, I have never seen that before. Ever. that is so bizarre.” She asked me if Tigger disliked Ophelia, i said no, it was just the opposite, they were best buds, and he's missed her very much. She died very unexpectedly. As i was talking his hair had gone down to it's normal size. i told her i had never seen Tigger do that when he was alive, ever. He was the most laid back cat you could ever find. She asked me if I was ready to go or if I needed a few more minutes. I said I was ready, and Ophelia was waiting. As soon as I said her name again, the hair at the base of Tigger’s spine stood straight up, and the hair along his spine, coming towards his head slowly stood up and separated. I felt like I was watching a sci-fi special effect. It was the most incredible thing I have ever seen. And my vet said “are you seeing this? This is amazing” It was amazing. And I stood there in awe of what Tigger was trying to tell me. Of the possibilities he was showing me. And she said to me one of the sweetest things a vet has ever said me at a time like that. She said she believes in reincarnation, and if i'm lucky, Tigger and Ophelia will find their way back to me before my life is over, if not, she hopes they at least find their way back to each other because clearly, they belong together.”
Rainbows and butterflies. A beautiful green meadow. Two beautiful cats that loved each other enough to love me enough to teach me a lesson about love, life, the afterlife, eternal life, reincarnation, and waiting. Waiting for as long as you have to, to get the right answer. Even when everything seems so hopeless and lost at the time.
Thank you Tigger
Thank you Ophelia
I hope you both are happy where ever you are………
visit my archive, december 18, 2005
(i tried linking back to that post, but couldn't make it work)