I think a nice thought purge is in order.
Well, I think today was just sort of funky, in the sense that I have just been kind of blah all day.
Lately my mood has been sort of a gentle rollercoaster. Nothing extreme, just some dips and peaks that have got me thinking. Of course, it is freezing outside and the (hopefully) tail end of winter, which means I've about had it with the weather. Every winter I'm surprised by how much cold weather gets me down, and with the recent revelation that I will not be attending grad school in the fall (unless I get accepted to one of the few schools that I have not been informally rejected from as of yet, the odds of which are about the same as we winning any amount of money over $50 in the lottery), I've decided that if at all possible, I am going to move away from snow, away from temperatures below 50 degrees, and away from feeling encumbered by four pounds of cold-weather clothing (yes, i weighed it on the scale at the gym). The nice thing about this idea is that it's completely possible and even very likely, because I have absolutely NO debt and a I do not need much in terms of money. Just enough to eat and have shelter and clothing. Some people can handle winter. I can't. Though I love Chicago, I need to get way from the oppressiveness of winter.
So, long story short, I know that much of my ennui as of late has been at the cruel hands of winter. Even so, it's still bothersome. I have four once-a-week 2.5 hour classes this semester, and the amount of free time that I have to read during doesn't really suit my taste. i prefer to have lots of shorter things to do than hours and hours of reading. I can't sit still for that long, unless I'm reading for pleasure and not class. I finally started to get into the routine fairly recently, so it isn't as bad as it was earlier in the semester. Actually, I can't believe how fast this one is going. Not as fast as fall semester, but fast enough I suppose.
Quite honestly, I'm ready to graduate. I look forward to the freedom to begin the next phase of my life, in which I plan to work and continue writing and pursuing other creative interests that inform my writing in the hopes of reapplying to grad school in a year or two or three. I am applying to be an SLA at the Rome Center, a job for which I believe I am highly qualified and likely to at least get interviewed for, and if I get I that will provide me with a plan for at least the next year and probably two. My main goal is to keep writing and to remain strong in my conviction that I'm quite young yet and free do to as I please. It's a nice thought and has made my first (failed) attempt at acceptance into an MFA program seem like a necessary hurdle to overcome.
On the topic of said rejection, I have not officially received written notification of rejection yet, but as of now can say that I am positive I did not get into Minnesota (4 acceptances in fiction this year, and all notified by phone last week), UMass Amherst (10 fiction acceptances, notified by phone last week), and Michigan (unsure how many, by all notified via email last week. I expect my UMass rejection letter tomorrow and the other two sometime this week. Iowa has been sporadically calling their fiction acceptances in chunks of two or three since last Tuesday or so, and while I don't think they're done yet, I in no way, shape, or form expect admittance into the program that is the most highly regarded in the country (and arguably, the world) and is the only program to receive 1000+ applications for fiction spots each year. Which leaves NYU (52 places across all genres, but shaky funding, very well regarded, and cost of living in NYC super-high) and my two REALLY long-shot schools, which are UT Austin and UC Irvine. Austin takes 6 in fiction, I believe, but their funding is the best in the country and they also don't require students to teach for said funding, so they get many, many applications. And Irvine takes 4-6, very well-regarded, and incredibly selective.
In summation, I'm glad I tried and got a sense for what the application process is like. I would have been furious with myself for not trying. That being said, I feel like it might have been overconfident of me to apply because my writing must not be as far along as I thought and I'm still pretty young compared the the other applicants. Average age of an MFA applicant is 26. All the same, you know what they (read: Aaliyah) say: if at first you don't succeed...
I'm most bummed that the vivid dream I had in which I was accepted to Minnesota didn't come true. If it did I could be getting an MFA and working as a dream shaman for extra income.
Not much else is new, really. I watched the Oscars last night which was fun because I saw so many of the movies this year (usually not the case) and loved tons of them (Milk, Slumdog, The Reader, Revolutionary Road, The Visitor, Last Chance Harvey). I adore Kate Winslet and was very glad to see her win. Same for Sean Penn.
I'm leaving for San Francisco on Sunday for spring break. We're all staying at Sam's house there and I really think it's going to be a fantastic week. I also am up to 57.8 lbs lost and that's pretty cool. Now I'm just holding out till the weather turns, and writing as much as possible while staying abreast of the dreck I have to read for my uninspired fiction classes this semester. My prof looks like Marcus Skinner from Orange Country- but not nearly as eloquent, and much scruffier.
Cheers, y'all.
Lately my mood has been sort of a gentle rollercoaster. Nothing extreme, just some dips and peaks that have got me thinking. Of course, it is freezing outside and the (hopefully) tail end of winter, which means I've about had it with the weather. Every winter I'm surprised by how much cold weather gets me down, and with the recent revelation that I will not be attending grad school in the fall (unless I get accepted to one of the few schools that I have not been informally rejected from as of yet, the odds of which are about the same as we winning any amount of money over $50 in the lottery), I've decided that if at all possible, I am going to move away from snow, away from temperatures below 50 degrees, and away from feeling encumbered by four pounds of cold-weather clothing (yes, i weighed it on the scale at the gym). The nice thing about this idea is that it's completely possible and even very likely, because I have absolutely NO debt and a I do not need much in terms of money. Just enough to eat and have shelter and clothing. Some people can handle winter. I can't. Though I love Chicago, I need to get way from the oppressiveness of winter.
So, long story short, I know that much of my ennui as of late has been at the cruel hands of winter. Even so, it's still bothersome. I have four once-a-week 2.5 hour classes this semester, and the amount of free time that I have to read during doesn't really suit my taste. i prefer to have lots of shorter things to do than hours and hours of reading. I can't sit still for that long, unless I'm reading for pleasure and not class. I finally started to get into the routine fairly recently, so it isn't as bad as it was earlier in the semester. Actually, I can't believe how fast this one is going. Not as fast as fall semester, but fast enough I suppose.
Quite honestly, I'm ready to graduate. I look forward to the freedom to begin the next phase of my life, in which I plan to work and continue writing and pursuing other creative interests that inform my writing in the hopes of reapplying to grad school in a year or two or three. I am applying to be an SLA at the Rome Center, a job for which I believe I am highly qualified and likely to at least get interviewed for, and if I get I that will provide me with a plan for at least the next year and probably two. My main goal is to keep writing and to remain strong in my conviction that I'm quite young yet and free do to as I please. It's a nice thought and has made my first (failed) attempt at acceptance into an MFA program seem like a necessary hurdle to overcome.
On the topic of said rejection, I have not officially received written notification of rejection yet, but as of now can say that I am positive I did not get into Minnesota (4 acceptances in fiction this year, and all notified by phone last week), UMass Amherst (10 fiction acceptances, notified by phone last week), and Michigan (unsure how many, by all notified via email last week. I expect my UMass rejection letter tomorrow and the other two sometime this week. Iowa has been sporadically calling their fiction acceptances in chunks of two or three since last Tuesday or so, and while I don't think they're done yet, I in no way, shape, or form expect admittance into the program that is the most highly regarded in the country (and arguably, the world) and is the only program to receive 1000+ applications for fiction spots each year. Which leaves NYU (52 places across all genres, but shaky funding, very well regarded, and cost of living in NYC super-high) and my two REALLY long-shot schools, which are UT Austin and UC Irvine. Austin takes 6 in fiction, I believe, but their funding is the best in the country and they also don't require students to teach for said funding, so they get many, many applications. And Irvine takes 4-6, very well-regarded, and incredibly selective.
In summation, I'm glad I tried and got a sense for what the application process is like. I would have been furious with myself for not trying. That being said, I feel like it might have been overconfident of me to apply because my writing must not be as far along as I thought and I'm still pretty young compared the the other applicants. Average age of an MFA applicant is 26. All the same, you know what they (read: Aaliyah) say: if at first you don't succeed...
I'm most bummed that the vivid dream I had in which I was accepted to Minnesota didn't come true. If it did I could be getting an MFA and working as a dream shaman for extra income.
Not much else is new, really. I watched the Oscars last night which was fun because I saw so many of the movies this year (usually not the case) and loved tons of them (Milk, Slumdog, The Reader, Revolutionary Road, The Visitor, Last Chance Harvey). I adore Kate Winslet and was very glad to see her win. Same for Sean Penn.
I'm leaving for San Francisco on Sunday for spring break. We're all staying at Sam's house there and I really think it's going to be a fantastic week. I also am up to 57.8 lbs lost and that's pretty cool. Now I'm just holding out till the weather turns, and writing as much as possible while staying abreast of the dreck I have to read for my uninspired fiction classes this semester. My prof looks like Marcus Skinner from Orange Country- but not nearly as eloquent, and much scruffier.
Cheers, y'all.