(no subject)
I have the ability to stab people with my tongue. I think I inherited this from my father... he would verbally abuse my insecure mother. I hate it..I really do. My situation is this... broke up with the girlfriend and we've traded insults and whatnot.. but things have been kosher for a week or so... haven't seen her for more than 3 minutes at a time.. hard to remember what she even looks like. But... the past few times we have seen each other, we've been civil..making idle conversation. "How's work?..you know.." Talking about the puppy... talking about the new apartment... it's just wierd. Last night I wrote her a pretty fucked up poem... addressing her promiscuity. Um, she likes to borrow guys for about a week, have her way with them, and then latch onto a new guy. Hurts to know I was with a person like this..but comforts me to know that at least I was special enough for her to take it further with me...
Can anyone fathom what I'm going through? Just two months ago I was blabbing about how in love I was and how great life is.. and talking about marriage. Now I'm going through this very lonely stage where I'm living in an aprtment filled with memories... this girl I fell in love with... is gone... and I want her gone. What happened?! Was it me? Or is it just her? Why now... why me. Why, why why??!?!??! I suck at falling in love. Why is that? Maybe I trust people very easily... maybe I'd like to think people are trustworthy... but I'm learning otherwise. I let women destroy me... but still, I've got a big heart and I am so wanting to be in a commited relationship... I want to find HER. I'm tired of fucking waiting... I've waited all my life and been through a few heartaches and heartbreaks. I'm here to love...just need to find someone who gives a shit. I don't want to die alone. I am happy yet sad. I am love and I am hate.
Is anybody out there? Somebody please drive me far... away.
Can anyone fathom what I'm going through? Just two months ago I was blabbing about how in love I was and how great life is.. and talking about marriage. Now I'm going through this very lonely stage where I'm living in an aprtment filled with memories... this girl I fell in love with... is gone... and I want her gone. What happened?! Was it me? Or is it just her? Why now... why me. Why, why why??!?!??! I suck at falling in love. Why is that? Maybe I trust people very easily... maybe I'd like to think people are trustworthy... but I'm learning otherwise. I let women destroy me... but still, I've got a big heart and I am so wanting to be in a commited relationship... I want to find HER. I'm tired of fucking waiting... I've waited all my life and been through a few heartaches and heartbreaks. I'm here to love...just need to find someone who gives a shit. I don't want to die alone. I am happy yet sad. I am love and I am hate.
Is anybody out there? Somebody please drive me far... away.