1/2 - [Reaction | Backdated to September 19th]incisiveSeptember 23 2009, 17:39:57 UTC
[ Valeria stares quietly down at her Hitomi as the dream concludes and the feed draws to a close. Her elbows are propped on either side of it, gloved hands cupping her cheeks. Kisame wears such a peaceful expression--content, she thinks, more so than he has been recently--and then, he's gone again; though, he really isn't far.
Ten years is a long time to be so close and yet so far away...
And it's there just beneath the surface, tied and tethered and so carefully restrained. She has seen it, sees it easily when Kisame is with Itachi. He looks after him, cares for him like a friend and a partner; that he cares for him in those ways is not a question, but a ready fact. She remembers, too, the other dream she observed and experienced when she 'borrowed' her then-husband's Hitomi. What he saw, how he felt, how he looked at Itachi...
But it's more than that and she knows it. It's more than friendship, more than lust that Kisame feels for Itachi. (He wants more.) Kisame knows; she's certain he does, that he recognizes it for what it is; and yet, he would file the "It Was Just a Dream" claim were she to bring it up to him. She doesn't think she should have to. To anyone who knows Kisame, it should be obvious, but then.... it's been ten years, hasn't it? At the very least, Itachi acts like he doesn't notice a thing, would be infinitely more difficult than Kisame were she to try and bring it up...
Does he at least know how Kisame feels? He has to. He just has to. Itachi know? He's been with Kisame for ten years now. Surely he knows him well enough to see through past the curtain Kisame has put up. Why, then, are they still so far apart? It makes no sense--to her, at least--especially when she considers how many male couples there had been. Itachi had had two male spouses and it hadn't seemed to bother him, so... why? (Why not? They've been partners for ten years; they're practically married!)
They're so close, but so far away. They will be together when she is long gone, whether she finds her own way back to Midgar or the 'gods' send her back themselves... if Kisame and Itachi are returned to wherever it is they came from, together or one by one, they will find one another again, but she...?
She swallows. Doesn't want to think about it. About them leaving (or her--and gods, she was afraid of that), about losing this, this... it feels like it's becoming a real home. It could and that frightens her, but... what frightens her more is the thought of losing them, never knowing that he--that they--are genuinely loved and cared for and happy. She thinks they could be happy, if they'd open their eyes and stop pretending; they could be truly happy, if only they'd allow themselves to be.
The corners of her lips fall and birth a frown at the thought: Of course, they won't. They're too stubborn. It's a risk they won't take and she almost can't blame them. They'd stand to lose, wouldn't they? Not that they don't already. Nothing is permanent; no one can stay. That's the way of things. Still...
They really aren't going to do anything by themselves, are they? She can't guess Itachi's reasons, if he has any. Surely he saw both of Kisame's dreams; he said nothing to the first. If he saw this one, would he respond or abstain? (Somehow she thinks the latter...) Is it Itachi's pride or is it something else? Surely he knows! What if he's waiting on the world to stop and stand still for them? (What if he really doesn't know?)
2/2 - [Reaction | Backdated to September 19th]incisiveSeptember 23 2009, 17:40:46 UTC
It's ridiculous. It's sad. It hurts her heart to even think these things, to consider what needs to be done. What she'll do to see them together and happy before it's too late and they're gone (or she's gone or she finally awakens in Shin-Ra Headquarters from this bizarre dream). She would like nothing better than to be Kisame's love, to love and be loved by him, but--she smiles because there's always a "but"--she just doesn't fit. What Kisame wants, what he needs is his partner, his best friend, the man he's grown to love in many ways in ten years' time: Itachi. Itachi, who will be with him when she is long gone. Itachi, who she could never, ever replace. He is real; Kisame's feelings for him are real. Were never forced or fabricated, but born naturally and given freely even when restrained.
They deserve each other.
Valeria narrows her brows and nods silently to herself. She will find a way. She will see this stalemate end with a happy beginning. For them. ]
Ten years is a long time to be so close and yet so far away...
And it's there just beneath the surface, tied and tethered and so carefully restrained. She has seen it, sees it easily when Kisame is with Itachi. He looks after him, cares for him like a friend and a partner; that he cares for him in those ways is not a question, but a ready fact. She remembers, too, the other dream she observed and experienced when she 'borrowed' her then-husband's Hitomi. What he saw, how he felt, how he looked at Itachi...
But it's more than that and she knows it. It's more than friendship, more than lust that Kisame feels for Itachi. (He wants more.) Kisame knows; she's certain he does, that he recognizes it for what it is; and yet, he would file the "It Was Just a Dream" claim were she to bring it up to him. She doesn't think she should have to. To anyone who knows Kisame, it should be obvious, but then.... it's been ten years, hasn't it? At the very least, Itachi acts like he doesn't notice a thing, would be infinitely more difficult than Kisame were she to try and bring it up...
Does he at least know how Kisame feels? He has to. He just has to. Itachi know? He's been with Kisame for ten years now. Surely he knows him well enough to see through past the curtain Kisame has put up. Why, then, are they still so far apart? It makes no sense--to her, at least--especially when she considers how many male couples there had been. Itachi had had two male spouses and it hadn't seemed to bother him, so... why? (Why not? They've been partners for ten years; they're practically married!)
They're so close, but so far away. They will be together when she is long gone, whether she finds her own way back to Midgar or the 'gods' send her back themselves... if Kisame and Itachi are returned to wherever it is they came from, together or one by one, they will find one another again, but she...?
She swallows. Doesn't want to think about it. About them leaving (or her--and gods, she was afraid of that), about losing this, this... it feels like it's becoming a real home. It could and that frightens her, but... what frightens her more is the thought of losing them, never knowing that he--that they--are genuinely loved and cared for and happy. She thinks they could be happy, if they'd open their eyes and stop pretending; they could be truly happy, if only they'd allow themselves to be.
The corners of her lips fall and birth a frown at the thought: Of course, they won't. They're too stubborn. It's a risk they won't take and she almost can't blame them. They'd stand to lose, wouldn't they? Not that they don't already. Nothing is permanent; no one can stay. That's the way of things. Still...
They really aren't going to do anything by themselves, are they? She can't guess Itachi's reasons, if he has any. Surely he saw both of Kisame's dreams; he said nothing to the first. If he saw this one, would he respond or abstain? (Somehow she thinks the latter...) Is it Itachi's pride or is it something else? Surely he knows! What if he's waiting on the world to stop and stand still for them? (What if he really doesn't know?)
Reply
They deserve each other.
Valeria narrows her brows and nods silently to herself. She will find a way. She will see this stalemate end with a happy beginning. For them. ]
Reply
Leave a comment