fat little rant

[seedycorner]

ok, I saw an add for Kristie Alley's new "Fat Actress" show, and I got really annoyed. I don't really watch tv, unless comedy central happens to be on a friend's house, so I haven't seen the show. It's nothing against her, but I'm so tired of seeing (I'm so tempted to say women of size, but that's really bizarre, since presumably, we're all of some

Comments

GREAT IDEA

[seedycorner]

Actually, I'm trying to systematically avoid things that I know reinforce negative body image. You're going to see enough of it in passing on billboards, movies, etc. There is no point in going out of your way to put yourself through things you know will make you feel poorly about yourself. Why give your money to companies that do everything in their power to tell women that they are only valuable and worthy of affection if their ribs are exposed? I strongly suggest seeking out alternative media sources for women. Bitch magazine is my personal favorite. There are also a handful of LJ communities that embrace and celebrate female figures in all their varieties that I find very valuable. I suggest doing this for a while, and after you have quit seeking out unhealthy reinforcements for a significant length of time, go back and reevaluate the mainstream magazines. I quit looking at Victoria Secret magazines, and quit going in the store for maybe a year now, and last night I looked at their catalog for the first time since I had decided to avoid it. I was pretty amazed at the difference in the way I viewed it. Before, when I didn't immediately throw it away when it came in the mail, I would alwaysalwaysalways feel like shit about myself after looking through it. At the same time I would feel myself hating the models, and consequently anyone I passed who happened to resemble them. This is damaging and dangerous on many levels; because not only was I devaluing myself, but I was making myself instinctively antagonistic towards other women, complete strangers, just because they happened to resemble the cultural female ideal more closely than I do. Because I realized this, I quit picking up Cosmo or any of its coconspirators in the store, I threw away the Victoria's Secret magazine the minute I saw it come in the mail, and I consciously avoid going into their stores.
We can't avoid it completely, and their are still plenty of times when I think "oh if I just lost x lbs, I would be so much prettier/more desirable/happier....." but I've found that a conscious attempt to avoid things that reinforce these feelings has made me more critical of these thoughts. I'll stop and think back on what triggered the feelings, and what may have contributed to those feelings and so forth. I strongly suggest trying this, and at the same time replacing these images with positive, healthy, and pro-woman sources. One of the many reasons my favorite LJ communities is Vintage Sex is because you'll see a great variety of body styles, which reminds me that not only are many different kinds of bodies lovely, but that different forms have been appreciated at different times. Think about this: If we were to see more pictures like Kristie Alley's from the fat actress ad: a big curvy woman all decked out with glam hair and gorgeous makeup and great lighting and sexy clothes, and represented in the photo with some erotic attitude, then it wouldn't feel like such a stretch when I feel sexy. Or if photos like in Lane Bryant ads, where you see non-thin women looking confident and beautiful. If this were more prevalent, we would be a little more conditioned to accepting ourselves, because we had seen people like us glorified and exalted in some sense. Well, I guess I've gone on for long enough with this, but don't forget that your judgments of beauty were not created in a vacuum. If you can strengthen your filter and consequently your critical skills, for dealing with the barrage of negative messages we experience, you'll be that much stronger and more confident because of it.