midnight musings
so... i just went to an elementary school today to conduct a case study. i had to stay inside the grounds for quite some time and watching the little naughty children do exercises in their jogging pants and p.e. t-shirts made me feel extra old.
it was depressing to feel that old when i'm still in college. but wow. time flew by so fast. it seems so long ago that i had p.e. class in my blue jogging pants and white p.e. t-shirt.
and then i went home and read this beautiful romance fanfic that got me thinking how my life will turn out. what does my future hold for me. i still can't see it. that scares me a lot.
then i watched cougar town and the episode had me thinking if i'll ever get married and have the unconventional but still endearing love ellie and andy has. to top that off, i watched an episode of sex and the city with paris and all kinds of love and it got me all depressed again. what is with that love and getting old and stuff?
i being hormonal and overthinking stuff but at times like this, i really do wonder if i'm going to find love and live a happy life after i finish school. that scares me. am i doing the right thing. is their a bright future ahead of me? i am, afterall, graduating soon.
then there is love. i know i haven't been open to it. i have anti-social tendencies and relationships just don't sit well with me. i have a lot of issues about trust, opening up to people and relationships in general. time won't stop for me. so am i doomed to die alone? that even scares me more.
i normally don't think about love. i believe it'll come when i'm ready. but reading and watching about love will make you think about it and now i'm thinking about it and i am scared because of thinking too much about it.
i think i need to sleep.
it was depressing to feel that old when i'm still in college. but wow. time flew by so fast. it seems so long ago that i had p.e. class in my blue jogging pants and white p.e. t-shirt.
and then i went home and read this beautiful romance fanfic that got me thinking how my life will turn out. what does my future hold for me. i still can't see it. that scares me a lot.
then i watched cougar town and the episode had me thinking if i'll ever get married and have the unconventional but still endearing love ellie and andy has. to top that off, i watched an episode of sex and the city with paris and all kinds of love and it got me all depressed again. what is with that love and getting old and stuff?
i being hormonal and overthinking stuff but at times like this, i really do wonder if i'm going to find love and live a happy life after i finish school. that scares me. am i doing the right thing. is their a bright future ahead of me? i am, afterall, graduating soon.
then there is love. i know i haven't been open to it. i have anti-social tendencies and relationships just don't sit well with me. i have a lot of issues about trust, opening up to people and relationships in general. time won't stop for me. so am i doomed to die alone? that even scares me more.
i normally don't think about love. i believe it'll come when i'm ready. but reading and watching about love will make you think about it and now i'm thinking about it and i am scared because of thinking too much about it.
i think i need to sleep.