Mai Tai and other Mayhem
What a day-and to think it’s only Tuesday. Woke up and checked my work voicemail for any delays to the office opening due to the previous night’s snowfall. Nope, snow wasn’t that bad.
• Got to work at 8am (1/2 hour early)
• Gave a presentation at 9am. Gave the catchy intro but forgot to introduce myself to the audience, most of which I didn't know.
• Called Santiago, Chile and left two voicemails in Spanish and spoke with a secretary to straighten out two packages I’d mailed to friends down there, which were mislabeled and instead shipped to McDonald’s Chile office. Doh!
• Figured out how to incorporate a sister team for a 5 minute team update presentation I thought I’d give solo, after creating the presentation at midnight last night.
• Had created my PowerPoint on the department template, but learned there was an "Event Template" and my PowerPoint didn't match. Seriously!? Was asked if I had a script for my presentation (haha!) or if I'd advance my own slides. Coworker sent me additional slides an hour before the meeting.
• Was slotted to speak at 4:45pm during the 4.5 hour department meeting (90 people). The only better time than that one would have been 4:55pm on a Friday.
• Because other teams spoke 10-15 minutes (instead of their allotted 5), I had to present at 5:10pm. One of my most important slides (with a screenshot image) was deleted (probably by accident) by the meeting coordination people, so we had to visit a fantasyland called "Make-Believe" for 30 seconds. Aside from that, it was the most concise speech you’ve ever heard.
• Took the company shuttle from training/meeting facility back to my office to get my car.
• Realized I left my laptop computer at training facility and scrambled back to retrieve it (5:40pm)
• Raced to my apartment to catch the 6:13pm train downtown. Had my train fare ready but the conductor skipped me. Free train for me.
• Chicago Restaurants’ Week (fixed price menus), so went to a $$$ restaurant called Roy’s (Hawaiian fusion). Hauled a$$ to the restaurant and my 30 minute walk from the train station was so cold that my face had to thaw before I had clear vision again. Forgot the reservation was at 7:45, not 7:30, so I was a restaurant wallflower for 25 minutes.
• Had skatefish for dinner over pineapple fried rice and a spicy cream sauce. Actually was tasty until I saw a picture of skatefish 5 minutes ago. http://www.dkimages.com/discover/previews/791/964494.JPG
• Overall dinner was quite excellent, as was the company. Appetizer was a sampler platter of a braised BBQ rib, chicken and angel rice noodle spring roll, and coconut shrimp with sweet & sour sauce. Dessert was chocolate molten cake with cinnamon ice cream, a wafer cookie, with a plate circled with a cherry/cranberry sauce. And a Mai Tai to drink.
• Almost wiped out in the men’s bathroom because the non-skid mat in front of the porcelain fixture turned me into a California surfer, as I deftly slid toward the wall.
• Hiked back to the train station. Read my “Best Life” magazine, which I’m beginning to think is targeted to married men, or at least men with children--not my current demographic. E.g. "How to increase libido after having your first child." Also read an article about an organic farmer who raises free range chickens that eat the fly larvae from cow pies because the bugs make them produce tastier eggs. WTF? Sick.
• I didn’t hear the conductor announcement for my town, as I was reading an article on spies and espionage. Looked out the window and saw a comics store...no comics store I know of in my town, and then I saw the Magic store sign. Sh-t (and other four-letter French words)-I raced to the door from the second story of the train but I heard the doors say "The doors are now closing." As if I couldn't see for myself the doors were closing.
• Stopped one town further west. It's now 11:17pm. Uttered more French under my breath. Trains only come once an hour and at this time of night, it was unlikely there would be any more heading back toward my place. Exited train and called a suburban taxi cab to pick me up at a street corner in BFE next to a 7-Eleven. Went to said 7-Eleven to withdraw cash from the ATM and get a caramel macchiato cappuccino. Proceeded to pay and the cashier said it was “on the house.” Confused (because nothing is free in this town), I asked “Why is that?” His coworker says “Sometimes he does that.” The first guy says “I want you to come back.” I say, “Really?” First guy says “Anytime I’m working and you’re here, coffee’s free.” I say, “Okay, thank you?” And to myself, I say “weird.”
• Call my friend Julie R., who I’d been texting earlier this evening, to explain my hilarious adventure. I’m standing outside in 18 degree temps. in front of a strip mall next to 7-Eleven with a free coffee, next to a now-closed Mexican restaurant, a cash exchange store and a liquor store at 11:30pm. I’m 60 train seconds away from where I was supposed to stop, but several miles away.
• I then hear a train and dash to the tracks, thinking maybe I can ride the train back to my town. Nope, I don’t do freight trains.
• 10 minutes pass. Then, I realize my taxi is in front of 7-Eleven waiting for me. I think to myself, “How the hell did I miss that, I’m in BFE and there have been no other cars out here.” Crap! Cab driver looks like he could be Prof. Sherry’s twin brother (college marketing prof) but with a ponytail.
• Rode 10 minutes back to my apartment and am now sipping my free cappuccino.
• Log online and see that McDonald’s is going feng shui? What?! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23300489/?GT1=10856
• Watching Conan O’Brien and Will Ferrell is now gyrating in a circle in 70s gym shorts pretending to play basketball defense. I struggle to keep down my cappuccino.
• Should call it a night, but now I’m wired from the cappuccino and midnight adventure.
• And the week’s not over, my friends, there are still 4 more days!
• December, 1963. December, 1963.
• Got to work at 8am (1/2 hour early)
• Gave a presentation at 9am. Gave the catchy intro but forgot to introduce myself to the audience, most of which I didn't know.
• Called Santiago, Chile and left two voicemails in Spanish and spoke with a secretary to straighten out two packages I’d mailed to friends down there, which were mislabeled and instead shipped to McDonald’s Chile office. Doh!
• Figured out how to incorporate a sister team for a 5 minute team update presentation I thought I’d give solo, after creating the presentation at midnight last night.
• Had created my PowerPoint on the department template, but learned there was an "Event Template" and my PowerPoint didn't match. Seriously!? Was asked if I had a script for my presentation (haha!) or if I'd advance my own slides. Coworker sent me additional slides an hour before the meeting.
• Was slotted to speak at 4:45pm during the 4.5 hour department meeting (90 people). The only better time than that one would have been 4:55pm on a Friday.
• Because other teams spoke 10-15 minutes (instead of their allotted 5), I had to present at 5:10pm. One of my most important slides (with a screenshot image) was deleted (probably by accident) by the meeting coordination people, so we had to visit a fantasyland called "Make-Believe" for 30 seconds. Aside from that, it was the most concise speech you’ve ever heard.
• Took the company shuttle from training/meeting facility back to my office to get my car.
• Realized I left my laptop computer at training facility and scrambled back to retrieve it (5:40pm)
• Raced to my apartment to catch the 6:13pm train downtown. Had my train fare ready but the conductor skipped me. Free train for me.
• Chicago Restaurants’ Week (fixed price menus), so went to a $$$ restaurant called Roy’s (Hawaiian fusion). Hauled a$$ to the restaurant and my 30 minute walk from the train station was so cold that my face had to thaw before I had clear vision again. Forgot the reservation was at 7:45, not 7:30, so I was a restaurant wallflower for 25 minutes.
• Had skatefish for dinner over pineapple fried rice and a spicy cream sauce. Actually was tasty until I saw a picture of skatefish 5 minutes ago. http://www.dkimages.com/discover/previews/791/964494.JPG
• Overall dinner was quite excellent, as was the company. Appetizer was a sampler platter of a braised BBQ rib, chicken and angel rice noodle spring roll, and coconut shrimp with sweet & sour sauce. Dessert was chocolate molten cake with cinnamon ice cream, a wafer cookie, with a plate circled with a cherry/cranberry sauce. And a Mai Tai to drink.
• Almost wiped out in the men’s bathroom because the non-skid mat in front of the porcelain fixture turned me into a California surfer, as I deftly slid toward the wall.
• Hiked back to the train station. Read my “Best Life” magazine, which I’m beginning to think is targeted to married men, or at least men with children--not my current demographic. E.g. "How to increase libido after having your first child." Also read an article about an organic farmer who raises free range chickens that eat the fly larvae from cow pies because the bugs make them produce tastier eggs. WTF? Sick.
• I didn’t hear the conductor announcement for my town, as I was reading an article on spies and espionage. Looked out the window and saw a comics store...no comics store I know of in my town, and then I saw the Magic store sign. Sh-t (and other four-letter French words)-I raced to the door from the second story of the train but I heard the doors say "The doors are now closing." As if I couldn't see for myself the doors were closing.
• Stopped one town further west. It's now 11:17pm. Uttered more French under my breath. Trains only come once an hour and at this time of night, it was unlikely there would be any more heading back toward my place. Exited train and called a suburban taxi cab to pick me up at a street corner in BFE next to a 7-Eleven. Went to said 7-Eleven to withdraw cash from the ATM and get a caramel macchiato cappuccino. Proceeded to pay and the cashier said it was “on the house.” Confused (because nothing is free in this town), I asked “Why is that?” His coworker says “Sometimes he does that.” The first guy says “I want you to come back.” I say, “Really?” First guy says “Anytime I’m working and you’re here, coffee’s free.” I say, “Okay, thank you?” And to myself, I say “weird.”
• Call my friend Julie R., who I’d been texting earlier this evening, to explain my hilarious adventure. I’m standing outside in 18 degree temps. in front of a strip mall next to 7-Eleven with a free coffee, next to a now-closed Mexican restaurant, a cash exchange store and a liquor store at 11:30pm. I’m 60 train seconds away from where I was supposed to stop, but several miles away.
• I then hear a train and dash to the tracks, thinking maybe I can ride the train back to my town. Nope, I don’t do freight trains.
• 10 minutes pass. Then, I realize my taxi is in front of 7-Eleven waiting for me. I think to myself, “How the hell did I miss that, I’m in BFE and there have been no other cars out here.” Crap! Cab driver looks like he could be Prof. Sherry’s twin brother (college marketing prof) but with a ponytail.
• Rode 10 minutes back to my apartment and am now sipping my free cappuccino.
• Log online and see that McDonald’s is going feng shui? What?! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23300489/?GT1=10856
• Watching Conan O’Brien and Will Ferrell is now gyrating in a circle in 70s gym shorts pretending to play basketball defense. I struggle to keep down my cappuccino.
• Should call it a night, but now I’m wired from the cappuccino and midnight adventure.
• And the week’s not over, my friends, there are still 4 more days!
• December, 1963. December, 1963.