The Christmas Party - JLs Fic
Title: The Christmas Party
Author: see_zee
Rating: Mature
Word Count: ~4,700
Characters: James/Joy
Spoilers: None really
Summary: The One Tree Hill Cast and crew Christmas party
A/N: First I would like to thank my wonderful beta deea347. Without her there would be no fic. Second. Since I had to fight my mother to get to finish this one, I have another part planned. You guys have to let me know if you want it or not. It's called The New Years Eve Party.
The Christmas Party
They were still filming 4x13 and they were having their Christmas Party today. Mark had insisted they have it this Saturday, knowing that if they had it after they wrap for Christmas break everyone would be gone. Everyone was still there now.
She was in her trailer getting ready as she was thinking back to the filming of 4x12. Something had happen. Something had changed. The poor guy did not know how to dance, but he was a sport. He did look hot up there though, she couldn't deny that. That always made her job easier, or did it. The last scene they had shot for the epi had been a closed set one, she was grateful. With this fake belly it was not as easy to make things look real and romantic. She had to admit though; it was the most romantic scene they had filmed up until now, she would even call it erotic. At first she wasn't sure if she was going to be ok with standing there just in her bra and pajama pants, but in the end it was James that managed to convince her. Not with words, but with his actions. They had been shooting the scene a few times where she had kept her tank top on, but in this last shot the director had only kept the camera rolling. She didn't know why, usually he would yell cut once they got to the point where they knew the scene would change. But this time no.
James, as Nathan came up behind her, a huge grin on his face.
"You liked what you saw, didn't ya?"
"No."
"Admit it; it was sexy, wasn't it?"
"No." She shook her head and tried her hardest to look convincing.
He was directly behind her now. His arms encircled her stomach. It was strange because she couldn't feel his hands. Always in scenes like his she could feel his hands.
"Come on, Hales. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I wasn't sure I was going to win. It was going to be a surprise. Leave it to my brother to surprise the surprise!"
She chuckled at the last line.
"I know you want me…" he tried, as he grinned at her again. His hands had moved down to the edge of her tank top, his finger edging under it. She felt his mouth on her neck and tilted her head to the side to give him better access.
"I'm blaming the hormones." ,she stubbornly said the last line. A little more of the "foreplay" and they would cut and move to the bed.
He kissed up her neck and sought out her mouth. She encircled the back of his head with her arm, feeling the tank top riding higher. She could feel his hands as they moved up her sides. The hand was that was away from the camera graced the side of her breasts. It happened once in a while. Now, though, something was different, she couldn't put her finger to it, but it was. She felt his tongue seeking access to her mouth. At first it startled her a little; it's been a long time since they used to kiss like that. Hesitant at first, but she opened her mouth, her body responding to old hidden memories. He turned her towards him, deepening the kiss. Again his hand graced her breast; it wasn't an accident this time. Her tank top was inching higher as his hands moved under it along her back. Without thinking she raised her hands, allowing him to remove the clothing from her body. She had forgotten about the camera. She wanted to feel his hands on her again.
Breaking the kiss momentarily to pull the top over her head, they were both panting. Her hands sought out his abs under his shirt. She needed to see, needed to feel more. She looked up at him, wanting him to remove his shirt and he did. Capturing her mouth again he managed to guide them over the bed. Gently he let them both sink onto it. Their kissing and breathing was heavy, his hands were rummaging her body.
He gave her a final long kiss, before he let his forehead rest against hers, their noses gracing. "I love you."
She looked into his eyes, knowing that he meant it; it was James talking to her. After a minute of them lying like that, they heard the director carefully say "cut".
No on said anything, the few people that were there knew something had happen. The scene wasn't finished the way it was in the script, but it was a wrap. You would never get anything like that on film again. The slowly moved apart. James got off the bed, found her tank top and gave it to her before finding and putting on his own shirt. They looked at each other, not knowing what to say. With one final glance at him, she headed to make-up to get the fake belly taken off. It looked so real, it was amazing what make-up could do these days.
That was a week and a half ago. Things had been a little strange, but James acted like his usual self, so she did the same. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her thoughts had been wandering to that day a lot. More than it should. Michael was supposed to be here tonight, but he had to cancel at the last minute. She had been pissed at him, but now she was happy he wasn't here.
She applied a final layer of red lipstick, put on her red Santa hat, matching the red dress she had on and headed to the party. As she walked out of her trailer she looked over and saw that James was coming out of his. He looked up at her and their eyes locked. For a second she thought he would turn and go back into his trailer, but he closed the door behind him and walked up to her.
"Wow...you look amazing."
"Thanks." She beamed up at him. "You don't look so bad yourself."
For once he wasn't wearing anything Michael Jordan. He had a dark blue shirt on, bringing out the beautiful color of his eyes, and black pants. He actually looked really hot.
"Walk you to the party?" He held out his arm. She hesitated for a second before she put her arm in his.
"Sure."
They walked in silence over to studio 7. The art department had made it into a beautiful Christmas party place. They stopped for a minute at the entrance, taking it all in. Suddenly they hear Sophia yell.
"Lay one on him Joy."
"What?"
"Look up."
They both did. They were standing under the mistletoe.
Trying to act as if they just walked under it, wasn't going to fly, they had been standing there for a minute. Sophia's little outburst had gotten several others to look at them. It wasn't like they hadn't kissed before; they had been kissing each other for the past 4 years, and with plenty of people around. Still they both hesitated. Just as she was about to reach up on her toes and give him a quick peck she felt his arms around her, one behind her head and one at the small of her back. He dipped her backwards, but she never felt scared. She actually never felt safer than when she was in his arms.
She only had a sec to catch her bearings from the shock of being dipped backwards before she felt his lips on hers. She thought he was about to let up so she opened her mouth slightly, giving him the opportunity to enter her mouth with his tongue. He gave her a deep and lingering kiss before letting up. He graced her nose with his for a minute, just looking into her eyes before finally pulling her up with him. They looked around. You could feel the tension in the room.
"Now that is what I call a kiss!", came from behind them. Hilarie came walking in with her husband, giving them a huge grin. It seemed to let a little of the tension in the room go as people got back to what they were doing before the kiss. Realizing she was still holding on to James she let go of his arm. She looked up at him quickly before she excused herself and moved over to a group of people.
She walked around the party, making sure she always knew where he was. He was hanging with the rest of the gang. She felt a little excluded. It was her own fault. She wanted to be a part of them again, like it used to be. She missed those times. She knew what changed. She was the one that had changed it all.
Watching them she realized she was jealous, jealous on all of them who got to spend so much time with him. To see him when she couldn’t, feel his warmth, smell him. She was jealous on all of them who could just watch him, his great hair and those beautiful eyes and enjoy his masculine body. Every time she was around him and she tried to watch him, he would look up and catch her staring. It was like he knew she was watching him.
She didn’t know what to do with herself. Why was she suddenly thinking all these thoughts now? She was married. Happily married. At least that was what she kept telling everyone, herself included.
Why had she gotten married? What had it been with the rush? Michael was a great friend, had been for 4 years, but marriage? Looking back now she saw that she should have waited. It had been too soon. Sometimes she felt like she got married to stop other feelings. Feelings she shouldn't be having. Feelings she was having about someone else.
She was standing and talking to some of the crew when suddenly Hilarie and Sophia came over to her.
“I’m sorry guys, but we need Joy.” Sophia excused them and dragged her way.
“What do you need me for?”
“Well, we need your voice.”
“For what?”
“For a smart girl, you are dumb sometimes...” Hilarie shot in.
“We need you to sing!”, Sophia finally admitted.
“I’m not singing!”
“Come on Joy, just a few songs for us.”, they both started to whine. “We don’t have music.”
“Nice try, the guys put the piano in here.”
She knew she should just give up. They were going to make her sing. And it actually made her feel good that they wanted to hear her sing.
They arrived at the piano and she sat down.
“Any particular songs you want me to sing?”
A few suggestions were shouted out and she sang them. The rest of the cast and crew joined her. After a few songs she still hadn’t seen James around.
“Okay guys, I’m going to do one last one, it’s one of my favorites, and that’s it. It’s called “Christmas Without You”.”
It was an old song by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. She didn’t know why she liked it so much, she just did.
She started singing.
White Christmas and I'm blue
Like fireworks with no fuse
Christmas without you
She felt like someone was watching her and looked around. At first she didn’t see him, but she spotted him at the back of the room.
The fireplace keeps burning and my thoughts keep turning
The pages of memories of time spent with you
Old Christmas songs we knew and used to make love to
Make it hard to get used to Christmas without you
She thought back to all the fun they had have. Hanging out all the time in the beginning. Usually at his place, even though he had no furniture. Or that time when he got sick and she was over there taking care of him. You can have a lot of fun with honey, she thought smiling a bit at the memory.
Christmas without you
White Christmas and I'm blue
I love you I miss you
So sad but so true
Christmas without you
She was staring into his eyes and he into hers. She didn’t want to think about the text of the song. Why had she sung that song again? There, and then it meant so much more than just words. She missed him, she really missed him.
Like a mystery with no clues
Like fireworks with no fuse
Christmas without you
The sweetest gift I know would be if the new snow
Could fall on your footsteps on this Christmas eve
The most joyous Christmas if luck could be with us
Would be if Saint Nicholas brought you home to me
She hadn’t let go of his eyes. He was still at the back of the room, but it was like it was only the two of them. She was singing only to him. The words were for him and no one else. Sitting there, singing to him she started to realize that she meant the words; she wanted what they once had. She knew she wasn’t happy with where she was now; it wasn’t what it was suppose to be, what she thought it would be.
Christmas without you
White Christmas and I'm blue
I love you I miss you
So sad but so true
Christmas without you
She thought about how she ended up where she was. How things could have been different. It was all about timing. And their timing sucked. It always had. It was too late now. There was nothing she could do about it.
Christmas without you
White Christmas and I'm blue
I love you I miss you
So sad but so true
Christmas without you
Singing the last words of the song she realized that she had been staring at James the whole time. The words had been to him. Letting the words sink in, she realized they were true. She had to be without him, there was nothing she could do.
Reality came back to her as she tuned in on everyone clapping. She broke the gaze and looked around. She gave a huge smile and thanked them. She looked back to where he had been standing, but he was gone. It made her sad. She looked around, but couldn’t see him anywhere.
She was walking over to get something to drink after all the singing, when suddenly she felt someone grab her from behind. As soon as she felt herself being pulled against that familiar chest, she knew who it was. She was about to turn around when he spoke.
“Look straight ahead.”
“What is going on?”
“Meet me in my trailer in 5min.” He let go of her.
“We can’t!”
There was no answer so she turned around and he was gone. She knew she couldn’t go, but she also knew she had to. They had to talk about it, get it out of the way. She looked at her watch and then got something to drink. After a few minutes she made sure no one saw her walking out of there and over to his trailer.
On the way over she thought about all the things she had to say. She had to make it clear to him that she was married and they could never happen…it didn’t matter how much they wanted it. Arriving at his door, she braced herself for a minute before she raised her hand and knocked.
“Come in.”
Entering she couldn’t see him at first.
“James?”
“On the bed.”
She turned around, not sure what she was going to see. Once she saw him she burst out laughing. She had to steady herself to not fall over.
“Hey, it’s not funny!”
“But it is, it really is!”, she said between hiccups, she couldn’t stop laughing.
“I need you to help me get it on!”
“Who talked you into this?”
“Who do you think? Mark.”
“We need make-up to make you unrecognizable.”
“That is why I need you; I need you to do it. No one can know it’s me.”
“Everyone will notice that you are not there.”
“I made some lame excuse that I had to drive and get something…”
“And they are going to buy that?” She was still laughing.
“You can stop now, thank you very much, and yes, they’ll believe me. It’s me we are talking about here!”, he said confidently.
“I know, but I ask again. They are going to buy that why?”
He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down on the bed, tickling her. She squirmed, trying to get out of his grasp.
“James, stop. Please stop!”
“Promise you’ll stop laughing and help me then.”
“How is you tickling me helping me stop laughing?”
“Just say you’ll help me!”, he tried again, seriously this time, catching her gaze.
“I’ll help you!”
He let her go and she stood up. Taking another glance at him, again she stifled a laugh. He looked so adorable. She ran over to her own trailer and got some make-up. Entering his trailer again, she went and stood in front of him, in between his legs, working on his face.
She felt his hands right away. At first she thought it was by accident, but the continued brushing was no accident. At first it was light, and just below her knees. He got bolder and bolder and let his hands wander higher and higher. She was having a hard time concentrating. She should tell him to move them, but it felt good. It was sending all kinds of feelings all through her body. His eyes kept staring into hers. She had stopped putting make-up on a while ago. She was just enjoying the feeling of his hands on her legs, moving higher and higher. She started to lean down towards his face, licking her lips, anticipating his lips…
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
“James, are you ready?” It was Mark.
They were both startled back to reality. She felt that her face was flushed. She stepped away from his legs, making sure she created a good distance between them. James looked up at her with sad eyes. Oh how she could drown in those eyes.
“I’ll be there in a sec, Mark.”
“Alright, I’ll make sure everyone is inside. Be ready in 5, okay?”
“I’ll be there.”
They heard him leave. James looked up at her again. He went to look in the mirror to put the hat on. Looking at her through the mirror he gave her a wink. She smiled back at him. What was she doing?
“Why don’t you head back to the party and I’ll be there in a few minutes. Thanks for helping me. I’m sure no one will know now…”
“Okay, I’ll see you there.”
She headed out the door and back to the party. She managed to slip in unnoticed…at least she thought she did.
“Where have you been?” Hilarie approached her.
“Nowhere!” Like they are going to believe that.
“Try again.” See, it didn’t fly.
“I tried to call Michael, but he didn’t pick up…” Liar.
“Is everything okay between you two?”
“Yes, of course, everything is perfect.” She answered a little too fast.
“Good.” She saw the look in her eyes. Like she knew something she shouldn’t.
“Did I miss anything exciting?” Time to change subject.
“Nothing much, Mark wants us all to gather around, there is a surprise.” Joy smiled, knowing what the surprise was.
“Let’s do as he says then.” She grabbed her arm and dragged her towards Mark.
“Okay guys. You know how we have done Secret Santa this year. Well, it’s time to see what Santa has in his bag. The way we are going to do this is that you get your gift, you have to open it in front of everyone and then you have to guess who it’s from.”
Everyone looked around, trying to figure out who had the bag. Suddenly they heard.
“Ho ho ho!”
She laughed. She couldn’t help herself. She knew that if she blew his cover he was going to kill her later, but he was just so cute.
He walked into the room, and she had to admit that if she didn’t know it was him she wouldn’t have recognized him. He started handing out gifts to the crew and some of the other cast. They had fun guessing who it was from. His bag was huge; it looked like they were going to be there for a while.
Everyone had gotten everyone great gifts. Some managed to guess at the first try, others had no clue. Suddenly she heard her name. She noticed that he didn’t pull the gift out of the bag. It was really big.
She walked over to him, accepting his gift. She was about to walk back to her spot when he told her to open it there. She looked at him pleading to let her go back, but his eyes told her to stay. Looking around she saw that most of the other people where talking among themselves, but some were still watching them.
She looked at him again before she started taking lid of the box off. Looking inside she gasped. It was her guitar. It had been broken for the longest time, not having time to get it fixed. She took it out of the box and looked at him. She mouthed thank you to him and gave him a huge grin.
She didn’t say who it was from out loud, and she didn’t really have to. Everyone knew James was the only one who would do something like that for her. She left the party and went to her trailer. She couldn’t stay. She couldn’t believe he had done that for her.
She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there. She had been playing on her guitar, actually written a new song. She suddenly heard people talking outside. They were saying goodbye to each other. Then she heard that door on his trailer slam shut.
She got up and grabbed her gift. She had forgotten to give it to Mark to put in the bag, and after finding out that James was playing Santa she had decided to give it to him later, when it was just the two of them. She took a deep breath before she left her trailer. Walking the few steps it took to get to his trailer felt like a mile. She didn’t bother knocking. She knew that he knew she would come.
Upon entering she saw that he had just gotten his pants on, changing out of the Santa suite. Man, he looked hot. Why did the guy have to have such a great body? She took a second to just stare at it.
“Like what you see?” She felt her cheeks grow warm. He had caught her staring.
“Sorry. I just wanted to give you your gift…”
“It’s okay, you can stare. I know I’m sexy!” He gave her a huge grin and she could see the playfulness in his eyes. She missed that.
“Put a shirt on, boy toy!” She gave him a shove.
He put one on and walked over to where she had sat down on the couch. Man, he smelled good, and those eyes. Ok, back to business. Gift giving.
“So I didn’t know what to get you. We haven’t been that close lately, and I know it’s my fault, but I still care about you a lot James, and I don’t want to lose our friendship…”
She gave him the gift. She watched him as he took the lid of. He didn’t say anything. He took the ball out and looked at it. He looked inside the box again and took out what was there. Opening the envelope he looked inside.
“I know you have other autographed stuff from Michael Jordan, but I knew you didn’t have a ball. I hope you like it. As for the season tickets, I had a hazel to get them, so I really hope you can use them.”
“It’s perfect, Joy. Thank you so much. It’s really perfect. I have been trying to get season tickets myself, but they were sold out. How did you manage to get them?”
“A girl never tells her secrets.”
“I bet I can get them out of you…” He started to tickle her.
“James, please stop. You know I hate it!”
“Okay, sorry. Again, thank you so much for my gift.”
“And thank you for yours. When did you get it? I didn’t even notice it was missing.”
“A guy never tells his secrets.”, he shot back, laughing.
“You are no fun! And… you aren’t even ticklish!” He laughed at her frustration.
“I’m telling you, it’s not hard.”
“Yeah, you keep telling me that. Well, I have to get going. I have a million things I have to do tomorrow. I’ll see you on Monday. I can’t wait for the break.”
She stood up and headed to the door. Suddenly he gripped her arm and spun her around.
“Don’t go!” His lips were on hers a second later.
She put her hands to his chest in an attempt to protest, but she couldn’t. It was too much now… and it felt so good. His lips on her felt so great, she just wanted to melt into him. All the things that she had managed to keep carefully hidden, suddenly blew in her face. Feelings, sensations, memories, regrets… everything, from just one touch. One touch from him and only him.
He deepened the kiss pressing her against him. She let out a small moan before her arms went around his neck. They were both in a hurry, all their pent-up feelings suddenly surfacing. His hands were roaming all over her body, and she started to unbutton his shirt. She had to feel his body. Thoughts went back to the other day during shooting.
Suddenly she felt the wall against her back. He started kissing down her neck and she took the opportunity to remove his shirt. He had no undershirt under and her hands could touch his chest freely. Letting her thumb flicker over his nipple a moan escaped his lips. His hands dipped down and under her dress, pushing it up and over her head. He held her both of her hands up with one of his while letting the other moved freely down her body. He dipped down and caught her nipple thought the lace material of her bra. She tried to break free of his grasp, wanting to touch him, but he held her tight. He moved over to the other breast, making sure he got them both hard and stiff.
He finally let go of her hands and at the same time took one of her legs in his and lifter it over his hips. He grinded into her and she could feel how hard he was. How hard she was making him. She started to unbutton his pants, he had too much clothes on. When his pants fell down he stepped out of them at the same time lifting her and moving over to the bed. She encircled his waist with both legs as he laid them down on the bed. He captured her mouth and continued to grind into her.
“I want you, James. I need you. Make love to me.”
Suddenly his actions stopped. She looked up at him, trying to read what was going on in his head. He rolled off her and without looking at her he said.
“I can’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
She didn’t know if she heard him right. Here she was willing to finally sleep with him and he was rejecting her. Tears formed in her eyes. She hurriedly got of the bed and found her dress. She put it on as fast as she could. With on last look at him she left, slamming the door behind her.
She remembered her mistake… she was still happily married. Happily. Right.
Author: see_zee
Rating: Mature
Word Count: ~4,700
Characters: James/Joy
Spoilers: None really
Summary: The One Tree Hill Cast and crew Christmas party
A/N: First I would like to thank my wonderful beta deea347. Without her there would be no fic. Second. Since I had to fight my mother to get to finish this one, I have another part planned. You guys have to let me know if you want it or not. It's called The New Years Eve Party.
The Christmas Party
They were still filming 4x13 and they were having their Christmas Party today. Mark had insisted they have it this Saturday, knowing that if they had it after they wrap for Christmas break everyone would be gone. Everyone was still there now.
She was in her trailer getting ready as she was thinking back to the filming of 4x12. Something had happen. Something had changed. The poor guy did not know how to dance, but he was a sport. He did look hot up there though, she couldn't deny that. That always made her job easier, or did it. The last scene they had shot for the epi had been a closed set one, she was grateful. With this fake belly it was not as easy to make things look real and romantic. She had to admit though; it was the most romantic scene they had filmed up until now, she would even call it erotic. At first she wasn't sure if she was going to be ok with standing there just in her bra and pajama pants, but in the end it was James that managed to convince her. Not with words, but with his actions. They had been shooting the scene a few times where she had kept her tank top on, but in this last shot the director had only kept the camera rolling. She didn't know why, usually he would yell cut once they got to the point where they knew the scene would change. But this time no.
James, as Nathan came up behind her, a huge grin on his face.
"You liked what you saw, didn't ya?"
"No."
"Admit it; it was sexy, wasn't it?"
"No." She shook her head and tried her hardest to look convincing.
He was directly behind her now. His arms encircled her stomach. It was strange because she couldn't feel his hands. Always in scenes like his she could feel his hands.
"Come on, Hales. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I wasn't sure I was going to win. It was going to be a surprise. Leave it to my brother to surprise the surprise!"
She chuckled at the last line.
"I know you want me…" he tried, as he grinned at her again. His hands had moved down to the edge of her tank top, his finger edging under it. She felt his mouth on her neck and tilted her head to the side to give him better access.
"I'm blaming the hormones." ,she stubbornly said the last line. A little more of the "foreplay" and they would cut and move to the bed.
He kissed up her neck and sought out her mouth. She encircled the back of his head with her arm, feeling the tank top riding higher. She could feel his hands as they moved up her sides. The hand was that was away from the camera graced the side of her breasts. It happened once in a while. Now, though, something was different, she couldn't put her finger to it, but it was. She felt his tongue seeking access to her mouth. At first it startled her a little; it's been a long time since they used to kiss like that. Hesitant at first, but she opened her mouth, her body responding to old hidden memories. He turned her towards him, deepening the kiss. Again his hand graced her breast; it wasn't an accident this time. Her tank top was inching higher as his hands moved under it along her back. Without thinking she raised her hands, allowing him to remove the clothing from her body. She had forgotten about the camera. She wanted to feel his hands on her again.
Breaking the kiss momentarily to pull the top over her head, they were both panting. Her hands sought out his abs under his shirt. She needed to see, needed to feel more. She looked up at him, wanting him to remove his shirt and he did. Capturing her mouth again he managed to guide them over the bed. Gently he let them both sink onto it. Their kissing and breathing was heavy, his hands were rummaging her body.
He gave her a final long kiss, before he let his forehead rest against hers, their noses gracing. "I love you."
She looked into his eyes, knowing that he meant it; it was James talking to her. After a minute of them lying like that, they heard the director carefully say "cut".
No on said anything, the few people that were there knew something had happen. The scene wasn't finished the way it was in the script, but it was a wrap. You would never get anything like that on film again. The slowly moved apart. James got off the bed, found her tank top and gave it to her before finding and putting on his own shirt. They looked at each other, not knowing what to say. With one final glance at him, she headed to make-up to get the fake belly taken off. It looked so real, it was amazing what make-up could do these days.
That was a week and a half ago. Things had been a little strange, but James acted like his usual self, so she did the same. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her thoughts had been wandering to that day a lot. More than it should. Michael was supposed to be here tonight, but he had to cancel at the last minute. She had been pissed at him, but now she was happy he wasn't here.
She applied a final layer of red lipstick, put on her red Santa hat, matching the red dress she had on and headed to the party. As she walked out of her trailer she looked over and saw that James was coming out of his. He looked up at her and their eyes locked. For a second she thought he would turn and go back into his trailer, but he closed the door behind him and walked up to her.
"Wow...you look amazing."
"Thanks." She beamed up at him. "You don't look so bad yourself."
For once he wasn't wearing anything Michael Jordan. He had a dark blue shirt on, bringing out the beautiful color of his eyes, and black pants. He actually looked really hot.
"Walk you to the party?" He held out his arm. She hesitated for a second before she put her arm in his.
"Sure."
They walked in silence over to studio 7. The art department had made it into a beautiful Christmas party place. They stopped for a minute at the entrance, taking it all in. Suddenly they hear Sophia yell.
"Lay one on him Joy."
"What?"
"Look up."
They both did. They were standing under the mistletoe.
Trying to act as if they just walked under it, wasn't going to fly, they had been standing there for a minute. Sophia's little outburst had gotten several others to look at them. It wasn't like they hadn't kissed before; they had been kissing each other for the past 4 years, and with plenty of people around. Still they both hesitated. Just as she was about to reach up on her toes and give him a quick peck she felt his arms around her, one behind her head and one at the small of her back. He dipped her backwards, but she never felt scared. She actually never felt safer than when she was in his arms.
She only had a sec to catch her bearings from the shock of being dipped backwards before she felt his lips on hers. She thought he was about to let up so she opened her mouth slightly, giving him the opportunity to enter her mouth with his tongue. He gave her a deep and lingering kiss before letting up. He graced her nose with his for a minute, just looking into her eyes before finally pulling her up with him. They looked around. You could feel the tension in the room.
"Now that is what I call a kiss!", came from behind them. Hilarie came walking in with her husband, giving them a huge grin. It seemed to let a little of the tension in the room go as people got back to what they were doing before the kiss. Realizing she was still holding on to James she let go of his arm. She looked up at him quickly before she excused herself and moved over to a group of people.
She walked around the party, making sure she always knew where he was. He was hanging with the rest of the gang. She felt a little excluded. It was her own fault. She wanted to be a part of them again, like it used to be. She missed those times. She knew what changed. She was the one that had changed it all.
Watching them she realized she was jealous, jealous on all of them who got to spend so much time with him. To see him when she couldn’t, feel his warmth, smell him. She was jealous on all of them who could just watch him, his great hair and those beautiful eyes and enjoy his masculine body. Every time she was around him and she tried to watch him, he would look up and catch her staring. It was like he knew she was watching him.
She didn’t know what to do with herself. Why was she suddenly thinking all these thoughts now? She was married. Happily married. At least that was what she kept telling everyone, herself included.
Why had she gotten married? What had it been with the rush? Michael was a great friend, had been for 4 years, but marriage? Looking back now she saw that she should have waited. It had been too soon. Sometimes she felt like she got married to stop other feelings. Feelings she shouldn't be having. Feelings she was having about someone else.
She was standing and talking to some of the crew when suddenly Hilarie and Sophia came over to her.
“I’m sorry guys, but we need Joy.” Sophia excused them and dragged her way.
“What do you need me for?”
“Well, we need your voice.”
“For what?”
“For a smart girl, you are dumb sometimes...” Hilarie shot in.
“We need you to sing!”, Sophia finally admitted.
“I’m not singing!”
“Come on Joy, just a few songs for us.”, they both started to whine. “We don’t have music.”
“Nice try, the guys put the piano in here.”
She knew she should just give up. They were going to make her sing. And it actually made her feel good that they wanted to hear her sing.
They arrived at the piano and she sat down.
“Any particular songs you want me to sing?”
A few suggestions were shouted out and she sang them. The rest of the cast and crew joined her. After a few songs she still hadn’t seen James around.
“Okay guys, I’m going to do one last one, it’s one of my favorites, and that’s it. It’s called “Christmas Without You”.”
It was an old song by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. She didn’t know why she liked it so much, she just did.
She started singing.
White Christmas and I'm blue
Like fireworks with no fuse
Christmas without you
She felt like someone was watching her and looked around. At first she didn’t see him, but she spotted him at the back of the room.
The fireplace keeps burning and my thoughts keep turning
The pages of memories of time spent with you
Old Christmas songs we knew and used to make love to
Make it hard to get used to Christmas without you
She thought back to all the fun they had have. Hanging out all the time in the beginning. Usually at his place, even though he had no furniture. Or that time when he got sick and she was over there taking care of him. You can have a lot of fun with honey, she thought smiling a bit at the memory.
Christmas without you
White Christmas and I'm blue
I love you I miss you
So sad but so true
Christmas without you
She was staring into his eyes and he into hers. She didn’t want to think about the text of the song. Why had she sung that song again? There, and then it meant so much more than just words. She missed him, she really missed him.
Like a mystery with no clues
Like fireworks with no fuse
Christmas without you
The sweetest gift I know would be if the new snow
Could fall on your footsteps on this Christmas eve
The most joyous Christmas if luck could be with us
Would be if Saint Nicholas brought you home to me
She hadn’t let go of his eyes. He was still at the back of the room, but it was like it was only the two of them. She was singing only to him. The words were for him and no one else. Sitting there, singing to him she started to realize that she meant the words; she wanted what they once had. She knew she wasn’t happy with where she was now; it wasn’t what it was suppose to be, what she thought it would be.
Christmas without you
White Christmas and I'm blue
I love you I miss you
So sad but so true
Christmas without you
She thought about how she ended up where she was. How things could have been different. It was all about timing. And their timing sucked. It always had. It was too late now. There was nothing she could do about it.
Christmas without you
White Christmas and I'm blue
I love you I miss you
So sad but so true
Christmas without you
Singing the last words of the song she realized that she had been staring at James the whole time. The words had been to him. Letting the words sink in, she realized they were true. She had to be without him, there was nothing she could do.
Reality came back to her as she tuned in on everyone clapping. She broke the gaze and looked around. She gave a huge smile and thanked them. She looked back to where he had been standing, but he was gone. It made her sad. She looked around, but couldn’t see him anywhere.
She was walking over to get something to drink after all the singing, when suddenly she felt someone grab her from behind. As soon as she felt herself being pulled against that familiar chest, she knew who it was. She was about to turn around when he spoke.
“Look straight ahead.”
“What is going on?”
“Meet me in my trailer in 5min.” He let go of her.
“We can’t!”
There was no answer so she turned around and he was gone. She knew she couldn’t go, but she also knew she had to. They had to talk about it, get it out of the way. She looked at her watch and then got something to drink. After a few minutes she made sure no one saw her walking out of there and over to his trailer.
On the way over she thought about all the things she had to say. She had to make it clear to him that she was married and they could never happen…it didn’t matter how much they wanted it. Arriving at his door, she braced herself for a minute before she raised her hand and knocked.
“Come in.”
Entering she couldn’t see him at first.
“James?”
“On the bed.”
She turned around, not sure what she was going to see. Once she saw him she burst out laughing. She had to steady herself to not fall over.
“Hey, it’s not funny!”
“But it is, it really is!”, she said between hiccups, she couldn’t stop laughing.
“I need you to help me get it on!”
“Who talked you into this?”
“Who do you think? Mark.”
“We need make-up to make you unrecognizable.”
“That is why I need you; I need you to do it. No one can know it’s me.”
“Everyone will notice that you are not there.”
“I made some lame excuse that I had to drive and get something…”
“And they are going to buy that?” She was still laughing.
“You can stop now, thank you very much, and yes, they’ll believe me. It’s me we are talking about here!”, he said confidently.
“I know, but I ask again. They are going to buy that why?”
He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down on the bed, tickling her. She squirmed, trying to get out of his grasp.
“James, stop. Please stop!”
“Promise you’ll stop laughing and help me then.”
“How is you tickling me helping me stop laughing?”
“Just say you’ll help me!”, he tried again, seriously this time, catching her gaze.
“I’ll help you!”
He let her go and she stood up. Taking another glance at him, again she stifled a laugh. He looked so adorable. She ran over to her own trailer and got some make-up. Entering his trailer again, she went and stood in front of him, in between his legs, working on his face.
She felt his hands right away. At first she thought it was by accident, but the continued brushing was no accident. At first it was light, and just below her knees. He got bolder and bolder and let his hands wander higher and higher. She was having a hard time concentrating. She should tell him to move them, but it felt good. It was sending all kinds of feelings all through her body. His eyes kept staring into hers. She had stopped putting make-up on a while ago. She was just enjoying the feeling of his hands on her legs, moving higher and higher. She started to lean down towards his face, licking her lips, anticipating his lips…
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
“James, are you ready?” It was Mark.
They were both startled back to reality. She felt that her face was flushed. She stepped away from his legs, making sure she created a good distance between them. James looked up at her with sad eyes. Oh how she could drown in those eyes.
“I’ll be there in a sec, Mark.”
“Alright, I’ll make sure everyone is inside. Be ready in 5, okay?”
“I’ll be there.”
They heard him leave. James looked up at her again. He went to look in the mirror to put the hat on. Looking at her through the mirror he gave her a wink. She smiled back at him. What was she doing?
“Why don’t you head back to the party and I’ll be there in a few minutes. Thanks for helping me. I’m sure no one will know now…”
“Okay, I’ll see you there.”
She headed out the door and back to the party. She managed to slip in unnoticed…at least she thought she did.
“Where have you been?” Hilarie approached her.
“Nowhere!” Like they are going to believe that.
“Try again.” See, it didn’t fly.
“I tried to call Michael, but he didn’t pick up…” Liar.
“Is everything okay between you two?”
“Yes, of course, everything is perfect.” She answered a little too fast.
“Good.” She saw the look in her eyes. Like she knew something she shouldn’t.
“Did I miss anything exciting?” Time to change subject.
“Nothing much, Mark wants us all to gather around, there is a surprise.” Joy smiled, knowing what the surprise was.
“Let’s do as he says then.” She grabbed her arm and dragged her towards Mark.
“Okay guys. You know how we have done Secret Santa this year. Well, it’s time to see what Santa has in his bag. The way we are going to do this is that you get your gift, you have to open it in front of everyone and then you have to guess who it’s from.”
Everyone looked around, trying to figure out who had the bag. Suddenly they heard.
“Ho ho ho!”
She laughed. She couldn’t help herself. She knew that if she blew his cover he was going to kill her later, but he was just so cute.
He walked into the room, and she had to admit that if she didn’t know it was him she wouldn’t have recognized him. He started handing out gifts to the crew and some of the other cast. They had fun guessing who it was from. His bag was huge; it looked like they were going to be there for a while.
Everyone had gotten everyone great gifts. Some managed to guess at the first try, others had no clue. Suddenly she heard her name. She noticed that he didn’t pull the gift out of the bag. It was really big.
She walked over to him, accepting his gift. She was about to walk back to her spot when he told her to open it there. She looked at him pleading to let her go back, but his eyes told her to stay. Looking around she saw that most of the other people where talking among themselves, but some were still watching them.
She looked at him again before she started taking lid of the box off. Looking inside she gasped. It was her guitar. It had been broken for the longest time, not having time to get it fixed. She took it out of the box and looked at him. She mouthed thank you to him and gave him a huge grin.
She didn’t say who it was from out loud, and she didn’t really have to. Everyone knew James was the only one who would do something like that for her. She left the party and went to her trailer. She couldn’t stay. She couldn’t believe he had done that for her.
She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there. She had been playing on her guitar, actually written a new song. She suddenly heard people talking outside. They were saying goodbye to each other. Then she heard that door on his trailer slam shut.
She got up and grabbed her gift. She had forgotten to give it to Mark to put in the bag, and after finding out that James was playing Santa she had decided to give it to him later, when it was just the two of them. She took a deep breath before she left her trailer. Walking the few steps it took to get to his trailer felt like a mile. She didn’t bother knocking. She knew that he knew she would come.
Upon entering she saw that he had just gotten his pants on, changing out of the Santa suite. Man, he looked hot. Why did the guy have to have such a great body? She took a second to just stare at it.
“Like what you see?” She felt her cheeks grow warm. He had caught her staring.
“Sorry. I just wanted to give you your gift…”
“It’s okay, you can stare. I know I’m sexy!” He gave her a huge grin and she could see the playfulness in his eyes. She missed that.
“Put a shirt on, boy toy!” She gave him a shove.
He put one on and walked over to where she had sat down on the couch. Man, he smelled good, and those eyes. Ok, back to business. Gift giving.
“So I didn’t know what to get you. We haven’t been that close lately, and I know it’s my fault, but I still care about you a lot James, and I don’t want to lose our friendship…”
She gave him the gift. She watched him as he took the lid of. He didn’t say anything. He took the ball out and looked at it. He looked inside the box again and took out what was there. Opening the envelope he looked inside.
“I know you have other autographed stuff from Michael Jordan, but I knew you didn’t have a ball. I hope you like it. As for the season tickets, I had a hazel to get them, so I really hope you can use them.”
“It’s perfect, Joy. Thank you so much. It’s really perfect. I have been trying to get season tickets myself, but they were sold out. How did you manage to get them?”
“A girl never tells her secrets.”
“I bet I can get them out of you…” He started to tickle her.
“James, please stop. You know I hate it!”
“Okay, sorry. Again, thank you so much for my gift.”
“And thank you for yours. When did you get it? I didn’t even notice it was missing.”
“A guy never tells his secrets.”, he shot back, laughing.
“You are no fun! And… you aren’t even ticklish!” He laughed at her frustration.
“I’m telling you, it’s not hard.”
“Yeah, you keep telling me that. Well, I have to get going. I have a million things I have to do tomorrow. I’ll see you on Monday. I can’t wait for the break.”
She stood up and headed to the door. Suddenly he gripped her arm and spun her around.
“Don’t go!” His lips were on hers a second later.
She put her hands to his chest in an attempt to protest, but she couldn’t. It was too much now… and it felt so good. His lips on her felt so great, she just wanted to melt into him. All the things that she had managed to keep carefully hidden, suddenly blew in her face. Feelings, sensations, memories, regrets… everything, from just one touch. One touch from him and only him.
He deepened the kiss pressing her against him. She let out a small moan before her arms went around his neck. They were both in a hurry, all their pent-up feelings suddenly surfacing. His hands were roaming all over her body, and she started to unbutton his shirt. She had to feel his body. Thoughts went back to the other day during shooting.
Suddenly she felt the wall against her back. He started kissing down her neck and she took the opportunity to remove his shirt. He had no undershirt under and her hands could touch his chest freely. Letting her thumb flicker over his nipple a moan escaped his lips. His hands dipped down and under her dress, pushing it up and over her head. He held her both of her hands up with one of his while letting the other moved freely down her body. He dipped down and caught her nipple thought the lace material of her bra. She tried to break free of his grasp, wanting to touch him, but he held her tight. He moved over to the other breast, making sure he got them both hard and stiff.
He finally let go of her hands and at the same time took one of her legs in his and lifter it over his hips. He grinded into her and she could feel how hard he was. How hard she was making him. She started to unbutton his pants, he had too much clothes on. When his pants fell down he stepped out of them at the same time lifting her and moving over to the bed. She encircled his waist with both legs as he laid them down on the bed. He captured her mouth and continued to grind into her.
“I want you, James. I need you. Make love to me.”
Suddenly his actions stopped. She looked up at him, trying to read what was going on in his head. He rolled off her and without looking at her he said.
“I can’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
She didn’t know if she heard him right. Here she was willing to finally sleep with him and he was rejecting her. Tears formed in her eyes. She hurriedly got of the bed and found her dress. She put it on as fast as she could. With on last look at him she left, slamming the door behind her.
She remembered her mistake… she was still happily married. Happily. Right.