(no subject)
I'm having a very bad day. I don't know why, I have four new computer games to play, but the sun still isn't shining. I got up, and since now i'm a workout-aholic I did 200 jumping jacks, 300 leg lifts, 100 sit ups, and jogged in place for a half an hour. I thought exercise was supposed to make you feel good. I woke up and my body looks like it always does, but I hated myself, and I hated everything around me, except for maybe my stuffed animals because they're just too cute. I have no music to listen to because everything I listen to is dumb. I'm enrolling in Oak Independent, which I really wanted to do, but couldn't care less now. My father took my guitar to get 'fixed' and it comes back sounding like shit, with only half the volume and no umpfh. everything upsets me, makes me cry. I'm not hungry even though I haven't eaten all day. there is nothing to do. I feel trapped. I have a sinking fear in me that I'm not good enough, but I can't think of anything that I can do that I would excel at, everything is too hard. Did I get enough sleep? I don't know. I don't remember when I went to bed. I woke up from a dream where I was small, too small to be me but not a child, and I was running from people who wanted to help me, because I laughed at them and kept running and hiding. I climbed a building but it bent over and the man grabbed me and wouldn't let go. I don't know what I'll do for college, I just don't want to be left behind, but I have no will to push forward. I am having a very bad day.