In Class Writings
- I might fall asleep sitting up. Can I skip to the part of my life where I can have something remotely resembling a regular schedule? It will probably help my sanity (or lack thereof).
I've always been a proponent of "everything happens for a reason" and "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' Hard to keep these things in sight sometimes.
Sleep deprivation can kill you. I should probably look into that...
I feel like I've committed to all of these different courses of action at some point, yet my resolve has wavered. It's probably a combination of stress, anxiety, depression, and who knows what else, but sometimes, I don't even feel like myself anymore...
- Why is this crashing of supposedly positive emotion so painful and jarring? Shouldn't it be happy and "good?" Isn't it? Where does all of the negativity come from?
The duality of love...
The extreme spectrum opened --> positive must equal negative scope of spectrum.
Opening your heart and soul to emotion allows all sorts of extremes of emotion to creep in - does vulnerability cause anxiety and depression? Without this vulnerability, there is an everlasting numbness and there is no ultimate fulfillment in life, but there is also no grief and despair to the degree that is allowed for by opening your heart and soul to love.
Without the extreme grief experienced by contemplating the pain and suffering that can come of love, can you completely appreciate the good things presented by love?
- I am the candle flame of the clan of broken moths.
I loathe bodily responses to stress, especially as a woman.
If someone needs to heal themself, can they do it if they are trying to put their energy somewhere else? If they can't commit their energy fully anywhere, don't both things suffer?
If I truly care, isn't giving him time to work on himself and heal himself what he needs? Aren't I just stealing some of the energy he should be spending on himself to heal? Isn't it selfish of me to keep him close for the moments of happiness he gives me instead of allowing him time to heal?
I feel numb to the entire thing right now. I want intimacy and to cultivate a life-long close relationship. These things are impossible if the other person spends their energy dwelling on perceived inadequacies.
I have so much going on in my life right now, and I can't allow myself to deal with someone else's stress and emotional baggage, especially since they can't actually allow for a healing closeness. He should be my source of comfort and happiness, not grief and dismay.
I yearn to be close to him, yet I can feel myself distancing myself unconsciously.
- I desperately want to stop biting my nails and figure out what to write.
I've always been a proponent of "everything happens for a reason" and "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' Hard to keep these things in sight sometimes.
Sleep deprivation can kill you. I should probably look into that...
I feel like I've committed to all of these different courses of action at some point, yet my resolve has wavered. It's probably a combination of stress, anxiety, depression, and who knows what else, but sometimes, I don't even feel like myself anymore...
- Why is this crashing of supposedly positive emotion so painful and jarring? Shouldn't it be happy and "good?" Isn't it? Where does all of the negativity come from?
The duality of love...
The extreme spectrum opened --> positive must equal negative scope of spectrum.
Opening your heart and soul to emotion allows all sorts of extremes of emotion to creep in - does vulnerability cause anxiety and depression? Without this vulnerability, there is an everlasting numbness and there is no ultimate fulfillment in life, but there is also no grief and despair to the degree that is allowed for by opening your heart and soul to love.
Without the extreme grief experienced by contemplating the pain and suffering that can come of love, can you completely appreciate the good things presented by love?
- I am the candle flame of the clan of broken moths.
I loathe bodily responses to stress, especially as a woman.
If someone needs to heal themself, can they do it if they are trying to put their energy somewhere else? If they can't commit their energy fully anywhere, don't both things suffer?
If I truly care, isn't giving him time to work on himself and heal himself what he needs? Aren't I just stealing some of the energy he should be spending on himself to heal? Isn't it selfish of me to keep him close for the moments of happiness he gives me instead of allowing him time to heal?
I feel numb to the entire thing right now. I want intimacy and to cultivate a life-long close relationship. These things are impossible if the other person spends their energy dwelling on perceived inadequacies.
I have so much going on in my life right now, and I can't allow myself to deal with someone else's stress and emotional baggage, especially since they can't actually allow for a healing closeness. He should be my source of comfort and happiness, not grief and dismay.
I yearn to be close to him, yet I can feel myself distancing myself unconsciously.
- I desperately want to stop biting my nails and figure out what to write.