(no subject)
I really wish it were summer. We had that one day (that would be Saturday) when I ran around with my pants rolled up and it made me feel like it was really going to be spring, but of course that was not the case. The annoying thing is that I know I won't even like it that much when it gets here. Because I hate the heat anyway, and this year is going to be even worse because I don't know what I am going to wear that is going to make me feel comfortable physically and also mentally (and what am I going to wear swimming, seriously, I was worrying about this on Saturday). But I DON'T CARE. I will sweat through like three binders a day (leaving aside that this is impossible because I only own one) if I can just get some HEAT and LIGHT.
I have been procrastinating on the internet all day and I hate it. I mean, I know I don't need to read every blog in existence every day and also some LOLcats and Fail Blog, but I can't seem to either resist doing it or stop once I've started. The exception is that if I'm not at the computer, I don't feel compelled to get to one so that I can read crap, even if it's been a while (sometimes I want to use it for something specific, but not just to do my usual blog reading time wasting). That was why going out to the docks to write my client letter was so helpful. My parents really want me to study in the library, but it doesn't help to be somewhere else with a computer; I do the same thing even in the middle of class. I have honestly considered canceling the internet at my house, but I don't know when I would even check my e-mail if I did that, because for the aforementioned reasons I don't usually bring my computer to school. It would also kind of suck when I do have free time and want to use the internet for something that is actually enjoyable rather than somewhat compulsive.
I tried briefly to start the rewrite of my paper in longhand, but the changes I need to make are mostly organizational. (I need to subtract and add a few things, but I have to shuffle almost everything around...it's like the nightmare rewrite, because organization is the hardest thing for me to change. I feel like I have to do everything at once or I'll lose my place and not know where I had left off) So I feel like I need to use my computer for that and work directly off the draft so I can cut/paste. Probably I could find a cafe or somewhere, even a food court or something, where I can bring my computer but can't access the internet (I know a few places where wireless access is a selling point; how many people are looking for the LACK of wireless?) I wish I had some willpower, though. I always feel like I can't act because I don't know what to do, but now I know exactly what is the right thing to do (MY WORK) and I'm not doing it, which makes me feel a lot worse.
It's interesting to note how many mood selections LJ has that are basically synonyms for "angst". They're really serving their audience.
I have been procrastinating on the internet all day and I hate it. I mean, I know I don't need to read every blog in existence every day and also some LOLcats and Fail Blog, but I can't seem to either resist doing it or stop once I've started. The exception is that if I'm not at the computer, I don't feel compelled to get to one so that I can read crap, even if it's been a while (sometimes I want to use it for something specific, but not just to do my usual blog reading time wasting). That was why going out to the docks to write my client letter was so helpful. My parents really want me to study in the library, but it doesn't help to be somewhere else with a computer; I do the same thing even in the middle of class. I have honestly considered canceling the internet at my house, but I don't know when I would even check my e-mail if I did that, because for the aforementioned reasons I don't usually bring my computer to school. It would also kind of suck when I do have free time and want to use the internet for something that is actually enjoyable rather than somewhat compulsive.
I tried briefly to start the rewrite of my paper in longhand, but the changes I need to make are mostly organizational. (I need to subtract and add a few things, but I have to shuffle almost everything around...it's like the nightmare rewrite, because organization is the hardest thing for me to change. I feel like I have to do everything at once or I'll lose my place and not know where I had left off) So I feel like I need to use my computer for that and work directly off the draft so I can cut/paste. Probably I could find a cafe or somewhere, even a food court or something, where I can bring my computer but can't access the internet (I know a few places where wireless access is a selling point; how many people are looking for the LACK of wireless?) I wish I had some willpower, though. I always feel like I can't act because I don't know what to do, but now I know exactly what is the right thing to do (MY WORK) and I'm not doing it, which makes me feel a lot worse.
It's interesting to note how many mood selections LJ has that are basically synonyms for "angst". They're really serving their audience.