Nino would think I was a girly man. Well, no, he would think I was a girly girl.
I cried at Princess Tutu. Seriously, I wept openly for the last episode and a half.
I started weeping when Ahiru and Fakir were in the lake, and Ahiru was going to turn back into a duck and it's sad because she can't go to ballet school, and Fakir was like that's okay because you are a duck, and I am a useless knight who can't protect my prince because he is a much better sword fighter than me, so we will just accept this and do what is right. And it made me so sad, because why should you have to always stay a duck if you are one (because I did not read this metaphorically to my personal situation AT ALL) and also, if you can rewrite the world, why couldn't you make it so that you can protect people? And your friend is not a duck if she doesn't fucking want to be?
But, I have been in this mood lately of I MUST SUPPRESS WHO I AM IN ORDER TO BE ABLE TO HELP OTHERS (and I am 24, btw, not 15, as that makes it sound) and that was totally, totally, not what I needed. Only maybe it was, because it was, you know, relevant, and I cried and now I feel better, at least for now.
(Oh, and then at the very end, Mr. Cat and his presumed wife and kittens made me cry anew! Even though he is a gag character! Because even though he had a happy ending because he got MARRIED, he is a four-legged cat and cannot ballet dance, even though he loved it and he admired Naaajinsky-sensei so much that he kept his shoes and sewed them back together! So it's really a sad happy ending, because why can't he do both!)
Also, I ended up identifying with Fakir a lot, even though he was a fucking abuser at the beginning. I am not so upset because what I was worried about was not that I would identify with him but that I would think he was sexy. Because at 14 or so, I probably would have thought abuser!Fakir was totally sexy, even though some of his shit was both objectively wrong and subjectively would bother me specifically (e.g. "useless" - aaargh!) because he was doing sexy!face and sexy!voice and giving orders, and pubertal me had not figured out that the bits that were sexy were not the same (necessarily, at least; in Fakir's case they kind of would have been) as the bits that were abusive, due to my early examples of characters I found sexy being...bastards like Fakir. But, being as I said, 24, I did not end up finding him sexy, but I ended up totally identifying once he was done being an abuser and went on to be a knight-cum-angst-monster. I mean, he is a knight who can't swordfight and is afraid of being stabbed, and then angsts all the time about how much that makes him suck, and also about everything else for most of the show.
...okay, yeah, and I was just on the princesstutu community and I totally found a post that was about crying AT THAT SCENE. Complete with a thread of people saying it made them cry. So I'll stop feeling quite so ostentatiously like a dumbass now.
I started weeping when Ahiru and Fakir were in the lake, and Ahiru was going to turn back into a duck and it's sad because she can't go to ballet school, and Fakir was like that's okay because you are a duck, and I am a useless knight who can't protect my prince because he is a much better sword fighter than me, so we will just accept this and do what is right. And it made me so sad, because why should you have to always stay a duck if you are one (because I did not read this metaphorically to my personal situation AT ALL) and also, if you can rewrite the world, why couldn't you make it so that you can protect people? And your friend is not a duck if she doesn't fucking want to be?
But, I have been in this mood lately of I MUST SUPPRESS WHO I AM IN ORDER TO BE ABLE TO HELP OTHERS (and I am 24, btw, not 15, as that makes it sound) and that was totally, totally, not what I needed. Only maybe it was, because it was, you know, relevant, and I cried and now I feel better, at least for now.
(Oh, and then at the very end, Mr. Cat and his presumed wife and kittens made me cry anew! Even though he is a gag character! Because even though he had a happy ending because he got MARRIED, he is a four-legged cat and cannot ballet dance, even though he loved it and he admired Naaajinsky-sensei so much that he kept his shoes and sewed them back together! So it's really a sad happy ending, because why can't he do both!)
Also, I ended up identifying with Fakir a lot, even though he was a fucking abuser at the beginning. I am not so upset because what I was worried about was not that I would identify with him but that I would think he was sexy. Because at 14 or so, I probably would have thought abuser!Fakir was totally sexy, even though some of his shit was both objectively wrong and subjectively would bother me specifically (e.g. "useless" - aaargh!) because he was doing sexy!face and sexy!voice and giving orders, and pubertal me had not figured out that the bits that were sexy were not the same (necessarily, at least; in Fakir's case they kind of would have been) as the bits that were abusive, due to my early examples of characters I found sexy being...bastards like Fakir. But, being as I said, 24, I did not end up finding him sexy, but I ended up totally identifying once he was done being an abuser and went on to be a knight-cum-angst-monster. I mean, he is a knight who can't swordfight and is afraid of being stabbed, and then angsts all the time about how much that makes him suck, and also about everything else for most of the show.
...okay, yeah, and I was just on the princesstutu community and I totally found a post that was about crying AT THAT SCENE. Complete with a thread of people saying it made them cry. So I'll stop feeling quite so ostentatiously like a dumbass now.