It really seems like an unfair extra to have to do all this busywork when someone dies. You wouldn't want to have to tackle that even at the best times. Everyone must wind up thinking they wish there was a class in this stuff. Or someone whose job it was to walk you through it.
Sorry you're going through this, even if it does seem like it was time--you don't have to feel grateful right now.
The morticians who prepared the body for shipping to Alabama were great. They went over things, contacted the Alabama mortuary for me, advised me on dealing with the contract my mom signed back in 1999 (the Alabama home mentioned something about prices going up - the SC home said not to let them get away with that) and were compassionate but not stereotypically so. I think that's as close as we're going to get to someone walking us through it.
Yeah, it was time. To live on in her state would just be cruel.
Sorry to hear about your mother's death. I know the rush of responsibilities can be a lot to deal with, and well-meaning buttinskis don't always help, but it sounds like you are surviving them. I'm hoping the next few weeks work out in the best ways for you and your family.
It's just getting to next week, to Tuesday, the day after the funeral, right now. Wednesday is moving her stuff and parting it out to either us or to some thrift store or her church. We spent parts of today and yesterday going through her stuff. It was absolutely sweltering - she only had a window a/c. She was fine with that, cold all the time anyway, but I was roasting. Got to be 100F today.
Sorry to hear about your mother's death, but it's good that she was well taken care of by the extended care facility. It's a nightmare to have to take care of so many details when someone dies. The system is much too complicated. I hope everything else goes smoothly for you.
The extended care facility staff was great. Very patient people. I could never do it.
It would help, I suppose, if we belonged to a church. Preachers usually take care of a lot of this stuff or at least go with you to hold your hand, or at least our preacher did back in 1971 when my dad died. The mortuary people, though, helped a lot.
Sorry to hear about your mother. It's surprising that you know what you have to do when someone dies (at least in general) but when the times comes your never ready. At least that's how my Dad treated it when my Grandmother died.
It's the difference between watching someone else trying to navigate a traffic jam when you're in a helicopter and then going down to the streets to do it yourself. You know in general what needs to be done but really, how often do people discuss the merits or demerits of funeral homes? A big part of the problem is that people don't want to deal with this stuff until it's tossed in their laps. It's such an unknown, like not knowing that two streets over it's clear driving.
I think that you don't have to be grateful towards anyone right now. Later, when you've had time to breath and process, maybe but right now, you feel as pissy as you want and grumble as much as you want.
Everything's up and down. She was in such a bad state that it's good she went but then, she was the last of that generation within my scope of the family so that puts me in the top tier, which is scary. For 54 years I've been a kid in that respect, now I'm suddenly Keeper of the Keys.
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Sorry you're going through this, even if it does seem like it was time--you don't have to feel grateful right now.
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Yeah, it was time. To live on in her state would just be cruel.
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It would help, I suppose, if we belonged to a church. Preachers usually take care of a lot of this stuff or at least go with you to hold your hand, or at least our preacher did back in 1971 when my dad died. The mortuary people, though, helped a lot.
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I am sorry and I'm sending you hugs.
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