(no subject)
I have so much I want to get out, and when that happens, I usually opt out for a cryptic song lyric or a one word entry (usually "fuck.", or something). There's simply so much I'm STILL STRESSING ABOUT, which is ridiculous. I wrote a seven page paper (a really good one) on why neoliberalism sucks the decks, and I can still find even the smallest things to stress about just the same. Like this summer. I'll be working in a factory second shift. Omg money is sexy. But everyone else at this goddamn elite school have amazing internships researching amazing things, and I need to go whore myself in Springfield because I am of the poorness. Yes...I'm whining, I'm sorry.
And this boy. Were the last two months one huge one-night-stand, or a whole series of one-night-stands that happened to be with the same person? Are we -pretending- it means something, but really it doesn't, so we don't get hurt when I go away? Is it sincere? We're not on the same page, that's for sure, and I'm getting all emo about it.
Also also also....I feel like I'll be stressing the fuck out over Harry and friends and Harry and friends and how everything will work out. And I don't want to cause drama or make people uncomfortable...but I feel like that's my nature, and that's what I'll do. And AHHHHHHHHHHHH it kind of sucks.
I'm leaving Smith for a year. I won't be back till 08. I am going to miss so many people a ridiculous amount. The seniors and juniors I won't see again (with a few exceptions), and I won't even know the first years next year until they're not firsties anymore. Rah. It's such an awkward situation. And I will miss. So. Many. People. I'll see Emma and Andrea, which'll be great...and if I can manage to convince my parents to let me go to Hawaii, then I'll see Emily, too, but this may be more difficult. *sigh*
Oh emo.
But home I go. It'll be nice to see the friendses.
And this boy. Were the last two months one huge one-night-stand, or a whole series of one-night-stands that happened to be with the same person? Are we -pretending- it means something, but really it doesn't, so we don't get hurt when I go away? Is it sincere? We're not on the same page, that's for sure, and I'm getting all emo about it.
Also also also....I feel like I'll be stressing the fuck out over Harry and friends and Harry and friends and how everything will work out. And I don't want to cause drama or make people uncomfortable...but I feel like that's my nature, and that's what I'll do. And AHHHHHHHHHHHH it kind of sucks.
I'm leaving Smith for a year. I won't be back till 08. I am going to miss so many people a ridiculous amount. The seniors and juniors I won't see again (with a few exceptions), and I won't even know the first years next year until they're not firsties anymore. Rah. It's such an awkward situation. And I will miss. So. Many. People. I'll see Emma and Andrea, which'll be great...and if I can manage to convince my parents to let me go to Hawaii, then I'll see Emily, too, but this may be more difficult. *sigh*
Oh emo.
But home I go. It'll be nice to see the friendses.